Today, in this short episode, I share a deeply personal tale that transformed my outlook on marriage and love. - a moment that became a turning point for us. I discovered the power of creating a marriage, an active, ongoing journey of falling in love repeatedly, rather than a one-time event.
This revelation didn't just reshape my marriage; it sparked a quest proving that love's reinvention isn't confined to romantic relationships, and can be applied to all areas of your life.
I'm Carla Reeves, and this is Differently. Whether you feel stuck in survival, navigating a change, or seeking more for your life, may this podcast be your weekly nudge to take a risk, to build a life that is uniquely bold, authentic and in alignment with your deepest values. After a decade of coaching individuals, from corporate leaders to creative artists to multi-million dollar CEOs I'm convinced we are far closer than we realize to what we deeply desire, and it's a willingness to do differently that can change everything. As Valentine's Day approaches, I'm reminded, after talking to a dear friend, of the pressure that this holiday can bring and the reason why, years ago, we stopped acknowledging it in our own marriage and opted in to show and express our love every day, as opposed to one day of the year. Don't worry if you love Valentine's Day. If it brings you joy, go with it, but if it creates tension, pressure and stress, know that you can opt out too. In the spirit of love, though, I want to share a story today that changed the course of our marriage and, ultimately, our life.
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I'm standing in a big room waiting for the event dinner to begin, arm in arm, with my soon to be husband Clutching his arm tightly, huge smile on my face, glancing adorably at him in between conversations, in my own little bubble of newly engaged bliss. As I look around, I notice that other couples around us are all looking at us and they aren't actually doing what we're doing. They're standing next to each other, but more like roommates than couples. Then one of the wives breaks the ice and says oh, look how cute they are. Followed by oh, just wait, just wait till you've been married a year, and everyone laughed. I suddenly felt self-conscious and nervously shifted the conversation to something else. Side note this wasn't the first time this happened. It had actually happened multiple times over the course of several months.
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I was laying in bed later that night trying to get to sleep. My mind was spinning. Should I get out now? Maybe I'm not equipped to have a long-standing happy relationship. After all, I'd already failed once, and there was plenty of evidence, if I looked around, that everything they were projecting would likely happen to us too. I knew plenty of couples that started out so happy and later were living separate lives. I felt powerless.
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Then a different thought emerged, followed by a train of new thoughts. I can't remember if it happened that night or later in my journal. What if the Blist Monster didn't exist. What if it was up to us to keep the magic and love alive in our relationship? And what if we could do something different? A wait began to lift. I felt inspired again, excited that there was something possible. I knew there was something to this and I wanted to follow these new thoughts Time and time again. I would have to be diligent to pivot my thinking, but as I did, the new thoughts got stronger and stronger. This would be my mission to create something different. It was as if I had just uncovered a long lost secret.
Speaker 1:
While I once subscribed to the Marriage Fairy tale that I'd fall in love and ride off happily into the sunset, I had discovered a new option. I now subscribe to the idea of a created marriage where you fall in love and do everything you can to ensure that you're cultivating a space where you can fall in love again and again. Little did I know that this moment would change the course of my marriage and my life, and whether or not you're married or in relationship is irrelevant. This story became a catalyst for creating more meaning, purpose, direction and fulfillment in all areas of my life. I'd be remiss to say that God hasn't played an enormous part in our marriage journey, healing places we could never heal, showing us love bigger than we ever imagined, and keeping our connection strong when humanness and living in this world wants to get in the way.
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I want to leave you with a quote by Rumi your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it, from my heart to yours. Set down the barriers as often as you need to and go. Generate love in your life today and every day, and come back next week because I want to share that blueprint with you. I will actually walk you through the questions so you can listen and do some writing on your own. It'll be sort of a mini workshop. I look forward to that. See you next week. Hey, thanks for tuning into this episode of differently. I hope it stirred your thinking and I invite you to take one inspired action from something that stood out to you. If you want to hear more conversations like this, be sure to hit follow on your favorite podcast app, and if this episode could impact someone you know, please help us spread the word and pass it along. Remember new episodes drop weekly. See you next week.