Last episode I shared a story from my life that forever changed my outlook on marriage and love and out of that emerged a blueprint for those fork-in-the-road moments when you are staring at continuing with the status quo or taking a leap into what makes your heart sing.
Here's that blueprint. Enjoy!
I also gave a shout out to Melissa Goodwin Copy! You can check out all the amazing work she does here - https://www.melissagoodwincopy.com/
Learn more about Carla: https:/www.carlareeves.com/
Connect on LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/reevescarla/
Connect on Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/carlasreevesaz/
Explore Coaching with Carla: https://bookme.name/carlareeves/lite/explore-coaching
Support the podcast! Check out the merch! https://www.bonfire.com/store/the-differently-shop/
Last episode I shared a story from my life that forever changed my outlook on marriage and love and out of that emerged a blueprint for those fork-in-the-road moments when you are staring at continuing with the status quo or taking a leap into what makes your heart sing.
Here's that blueprint. Enjoy!
I also gave a shout out to Melissa Goodwin Copy! You can check out all the amazing work she does here - https://www.melissagoodwincopy.com/
Learn more about Carla: https:/www.carlareeves.com/
Connect on LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/reevescarla/
Connect on Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/carlasreevesaz/
Explore Coaching with Carla: https://bookme.name/carlareeves/lite/explore-coaching
Support the podcast! Check out the merch! https://www.bonfire.com/store/the-differently-shop/
I'm Karla Reeves, and this is differently. Whether you feel stuck in survival, navigating a change, or seeking more for your life, may this podcast be your weekly nudge to take a risk to build a life that is uniquely bold, authentic and in alignment with your deepest values. After a decade of coaching individuals, from corporate leaders to creative artists to multi-million dollar CEOs I'm convinced we are far closer than we realize to what we deeply desire, and it's a willingness to do differently that can change everything. Hey, differently, listener, welcome back. And if you're new to the podcast, welcome. We're so glad that you're here. Last week, I shared a story from my life that forever changed my outlook on marriage and love, and out of that emerged a blueprint for moments in life where you come to that fork in the road where you fall into either staying in the status quo, going through the motions, or you have a choice to step out, maybe again for the sake of a bigger dream in your heart. Today I'm going to share that blueprint with you. If you haven't listened to last week, hit pause here and take six minutes and go have a listen. This will make today's episode make a lot more sense. It's called the bliss monster. Doesn't exist. So here's a quick recap on that story from last week.
Speaker 1:This is what happened. I was married at 23 and divorced at 28. No children, thankfully. I never imagined myself here, and this turned out to be a really important, pivot point in my life. I had dreamed of getting married and having a family from the time I was a little girl, but here I was, divorced. This wasn't part of the plan, and all of my confidence, excitement for this time in my life was replaced with hesitancy, doubt and fear. What if I failed? Again? Life happened and the thing that I once dreamed of and couldn't wait for, I was now afraid of my vision got cloudy. Things didn't go as I had planned. This can make us feel like it's no longer possible. We can shrink I did until something stirred inside of me to rethink what's possible and that led to a journey beyond my wildest dreams. This is what happens. Life happens and we decide things. We create rules and ideas and lenses that we look through, that shade the way we see the world, relationships, and on and on. We create rules and structures and ways of thinking to try and avoid or safeguard against failure, sadness, heartbreak, whatever it might be. But what actually happens is we end at building barriers that push away what we most want.
Speaker 1:In this pivot moment in my life, there was a pattern of thinking that showed up and guided me to a new place that I am forever grateful for, and it allowed for a different and new outcome in my marriage in this case, one that I'm still writing about and sharing with you about 23 years later. And this thinking pattern became a blueprint in my own life that helps me in those choice points to tap into the innate abilities I have within to influence and shape the future outcomes in my life. So they're not defined by the past. This blueprint is the foundation for much of the work that I do to help clients ditch the status quo and follow that knowing in their heart that they know there's more possible for their life. Here's that blueprint. It's simple and requires a lot of practice.
Speaker 1:So, number one, shine a light on your thinking. That night, lying in bed, my thoughts were spiraling into doom and gloom about marriage, pointing me to plenty of real life stories and evidence to confirm it was all true that I was doomed. It was so convincing I felt powerless until a new thought emerged, and this is so important because this is the part that we can take part in this process of inventing, trying on experimenting with new thoughts that bring light and possibility and mobility into our world. Number two question and challenge your own thinking. You've heard me say it before don't believe everything you think. These old thought patterns of doubt were made up of the past, past failures, things I believed about myself because of missteps or things that had gone awry. There was a lot of fear. I was afraid I wasn't capable, and this darkness can pull you down. Get out of flashlight, my friend, and find a glimmer of light anywhere. This glimmer of light in my story started with what if? What if the bliss monster didn't exist? What if it was up to us to keep the magic in our marriage alive? What if we could do something different? Try this. What are the what if? Questions that could shed a new spark of light on your situation? Take a pause here, grab a pen and paper and make a list.
Speaker 1:Number three step out of survival, meaning that those outdated behaviors that maybe got you here but are not gonna get you there. This is where I could have stayed, opted into this old belief that you get married and live happily ever after, or I could have opted into what I saw many people falling into was that marriage, just you know, loses its magic over time. Or I could create a new vision where we had influence and power to shape the quality of our marriage. For you, what's that old idea or belief or set of beliefs that has kept you stuck and what's a new one that sparks a fire inside? Number four know your ideal outcome. For me, it was a healthy, thriving, lasting marriage. What's your ideal outcome? You might look to the list you made earlier or the last question to find some clues.
Speaker 1:Number five do differently. New thinking creates new options and possibilities for action. In my case, it all came from. It's up to us what if? It's up to us to keep the magic alive that gave me a complete new sense of hope, freedom and action to take. We've been leaning into this and reinventing what that means at different stages and seasons of our life and marriage. What is that for you? What does do differently look like when you think of your new what if? Question that sparked a fire inside you.
Speaker 1:Number six align your actions to your outcome. Consistent, aligned actions over time build something you never thought possible. I've seen it in our marriage and I see it with my private coaching clients week after week. And number seven is just repeat. You can rinse and repeat and apply this again and again and again. That's it. Simple. Yes, takes practice 100%. This blueprint lives behind all of the work I do with clients to help them ditch the status quo and build a life that truly feels like their own.
Speaker 1:And guess what? For the first time ever, thanks to Melissa Goodwin of Goodwin Copy you can find her at MelissaGoodwinCopycom and I highly recommend checking her out I'm very close to being able to share the newly updated coaching program that I have been leading for years. A big, heartfelt thanks to Melissa, because it is her ability to bring things to life through words that is going to give you a really good peek inside the program for the very first time, to see if it's something for you. More coming soon on that. Until then, thanks for hanging out with me today. Thanks for being someone who wants to keep stretching and growing and squeeze the juice out of this beautiful gift called life.
Speaker 1:Hey, thanks for tuning into this episode of Differently. I hope it stirred your thinking and I invite you to take one inspired action from something that stood out to you. If you wanna hear more conversations like this, be sure to hit follow on your favorite podcast app, and if this episode could impact someone you know, please help us spread the word and pass it along. Remember, new episodes drop weekly. See you next week.