Today I am sharing a replay of a very early episode on this podcast AND an all time most listened to episode.
We have a saying in our house and that's "let your inner Rick fly". It's a beautiful reminder to set down the rules and set the truth of who you are free.
Listen to today's latest Differently podcast and be inspired by Rick's journey to get rid of all the stuff that isn't you so you can be left with the real version of yourself.
Enjoy the first few minutes of the podcast with one of Rick's incredible, original songs.
Learn more about Rick: http://www.iglowmusic.com/
Learn more about Carla: https:/www.carlareeves.com/
Connect on LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/reevescarla/
Connect on Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/carlasreevesaz/
Explore Coaching: https://bookme.name/carlareeves/lite/explore-coaching
Today I am sharing a replay of a very early episode on this podcast AND an all time most listened to episode.
We have a saying in our house and that's "let your inner Rick fly". It's a beautiful reminder to set down the rules and set the truth of who you are free.
Listen to today's latest Differently podcast and be inspired by Rick's journey to get rid of all the stuff that isn't you so you can be left with the real version of yourself.
Enjoy the first few minutes of the podcast with one of Rick's incredible, original songs.
Learn more about Rick: http://www.iglowmusic.com/
Learn more about Carla: https:/www.carlareeves.com/
Connect on LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/reevescarla/
Connect on Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/carlasreevesaz/
Explore Coaching: https://bookme.name/carlareeves/lite/explore-coaching
I'm Karla Reeves, and this is Differently a podcast where we explore the ins and outs of what becomes possible when we're willing to think, do and show up differently to the moments of our everyday lives. My husband made a really good friend and it all started over egg salad in the lunch room at work when they discovered that they both had egg salad for lunch and loved egg salad and the rest is history. This guy and his family have since become close friends of ours. I've always thought people who write and play music just have something special about them, and it's no different with this guy. He's a songwriter and musician, he's a dad, he's got a really cool love story with his wife and he's someone that, when you're around, inspires you to be more of yourself. Shake off the inside and outside noise in the world and step forward and do the work that's in your heart to do. Meet Rick.
Speaker 2:I'm not worthy of all this love that I deserve. I'm not worthy of all this love that I deserve. I'm not worthy of all this love that I deserve. I'm not worthy of all this love that I deserve. I'm not worthy of all this love that I deserve. I'm not worthy of all this love that I deserve.
Speaker 1:I'm not worthy of all this love that I deserve.
Speaker 3:I'm not worthy of all this love that I deserve.
Speaker 1:I'm not worthy of all this love that I deserve.
Speaker 3:I'm not worthy of all this love that I deserve. I'm not worthy of all this love that I deserve. I'm not worthy of all this love that I deserve.
Speaker 1:I'm not worthy of all this love that I deserve.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's exactly what it is.
Speaker 1:Yeah, tell the listeners a little bit about who you are today. I mean, we know you're a dad, I know you, but give them a sense of who you are and what you're up to.
Speaker 3:I'm kind of all over the place. I'm not like a. You know, obviously I'm a diehard music guy. Right now music is everything I'm doing. You know, um, booking all my gigs I have. You know it's weird. You know that's a crazy question because I feel like if you had asked me that five or six years ago, the answer would have been completely different. But where I am now, I'm really just playing music and trying to provide a lifestyle for myself and then obviously be able to pay some bills and throw money at my kids when I need to and do some stuff with Ames. Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 3:I'm just a guitar player and a guy who loves playing music and I'm kind of an introvert, you know, when it comes to that I don't have a whole lot of friends. I have a couple of people I hang out with that I really enjoy being with. There's other people that I'm friendly with, but I'm always looking at the clock waiting to get out. You know I'm like okay, that's it, I had enough, like I need to get out of here. You know, and I don't know if that answers your question. But yeah, I'm pretty simple. I'm playing music and I'm just doing what I want to do and I'm listening to my own voice as much as possible, and that's it.
Speaker 1:I don't know if you know this about you, but I remember trying to think where we were when you shared. I mean, maybe it was a couple of years ago when you shared. You know that you were good, you wanted to play music and at that time I don't remember exactly, rick, what were you, what, how much were you playing at that time? Because I think you were playing with the band but you weren't really doing your own stuff and I remember distinctly. I don't remember where we were, but I remember you declaring that you were going to play music and you wanted to get booked and I've watched you, like I've literally watched that come to life and it's super inspiring. Do you remember that?
Speaker 3:No, but I remember the mindset. I don't know exactly when it was, but it was definitely probably three or four years ago, probably maybe four years ago, because I got into the cover band and then I started learning all these songs that I really didn't think I would really enjoy and then we played out and people really had a good time. But I met a guy, chad Bailey. He's been on my podcast and I'm actually going to spend the day with him tomorrow. He's been my biggest inspiration as far as really making this come to life. You know, I went Amy and I had like some kind of disagreement on a Wednesday night and I left the house and went up to Saddle Mountain Brewery, sat there I didn't have my cell phone and I'm listening to Chad play and he was playing a lot of the songs that I always loved and I thought to myself I got to talk to this guy after the show. He's going to think I'm crazy because I'm going to ask him a lot of questions, but he sat at the bar and was this the sweetest dude ever and we became instant friends and he invited me to a couple shows where I could come up and sing with him. He invited me up and he always edified me. He was like, yeah, rick's a songwriter, songwriter, you know, he's just like, he's just a sweetest guy.
Speaker 3:And then we went to Tennessee for a vacation for Christmas and then we drove back and then I got a phone call from Chad. He was like hey, I have a gig on January 5th at the Twisted Lizard. I can't make it. Can you fill in? And I just said yeah, because I was like I'm not going to say no. But at the time I really didn't know any cover songs. I only knew my originals, which I have a ton of. I have hours of music. So I did a three hour show of all my originals and I thought they're never going to ask me back, you know, because I didn't play one song anyone knew. They invited me back and then from that point on it was like this is what I'm going to do. I just knew I was going to play. Like I saw the door open up, you know I was like going in there.
Speaker 1:I love that. I love that, Wynne. Has music always been a part of your life? When did that start? It's always been there.
Speaker 3:It started when I think I was five. That's when I remember. I remember it's kind of weird because I lived. It was just me and my mom and my mom had this old record player and I think there was an Elvis song in the ghetto. You know that song.
Speaker 1:I'm sure I've heard it Quentin's a huge Elvis fan. I can't recall it at the moment.
Speaker 3:It's one of my favorite. I play it at my shows all the time. It's super sad, super dark, but that song it was great. And I was like, no, I love this song. So that was it, the Elvis. There was an Elvis song because my mom loved Elvis. We did that five years old and then, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3:And then when I was in second grade, my sister was 10 years older than me. She kicked me out of her bedroom because I used to go up there. She used to listen to music all the time and I always wanted to hang out with my sister because she had this cool like 60s kind of room. It was like psychedelic. But she kicked me out. She gave me an album and she goes here listen to this, and it was a rush album, permanent Waves. And I remember I had a little BG's record player and I came home, I went in my room, I put it on and I heard the song it's called the Spirit of the Radio and I was like what is that? It was blew my mind. I was like, is that a guitar? Like there's no way that's a guitar. You have to hear the song. But anyway, from that point on I just got this it was like, oh wow, that's life right there. Everything else is kind of like whatever I mean. Baseball and music were my two loves, but music has never stopped.
Speaker 1:I always think there's such clues to life and to what we're here to do from our youth and the things that we love to do when we were little. I think that's really cool.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So how did this journey begin? Like, what's your music journey? I have a little sense of it, but I'd love to hear a little bit more. Like, how did it go from there, from sort? Of putting up this world like this is life.
Speaker 3:It really was just a lot of time by myself Sitting in a room staring at a wall playing. I had this little mirror too, on the back of my door in my closet, and I would prop my chair up in front of it and I would try to look cool and try not to look at my hands when I played. So I look in the mirror and watch my fingers play, and I still gotta do that now because I actually think that Really, yeah, it does. I don't know, it has a different way of learning. Like I can see the phrasing better when I look in the mirror. And then, of course, when you're in the mirror you're trying to sing, you're looking at yourself and you're like, if I make that face, I look stupid All those little weird things that you do when you're a kid. And then I would lock myself in the bathroom with my little record, like a little cassette recorder, and I would play these songs that I learned and I would try to sing them and I sounded awful. I just remember just-.
Speaker 1:You would record yourself.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and then I would listen back and I go, oh my God, I suck. And of course my brothers, we're all from Jersey, so no one's nice to you anyway. So you'd have to be really amazing to someone to give you a compliment and that just didn't happen. So yeah, I did all that A lot of time just by myself playing, I mean really pretty much what I do now.
Speaker 3:But when I got to Arizona I got into a band and I was kickboxing at the time and I had wrote a couple of songs and I gave it to my instructor, who's a his name is Sheehan. He was like a fifth degree black belt. He loved me playing guitar. He always invited me to the outings. I said, harris, bring your guitar. So I bring my guitar. I got to sing the national anthem to some of the fights and I played at the intermissions, but I was really horrible. But then I answered an ad in the paper to get into this band and that's when the band feel took off. And I know we never talked about that, but that was a great time in my life because I was still living with my mom and I would work all day and then I'd go to the studio. Well, for a year straight I went to the recording studio and worked on this album and super proud of it, it's really good so that.
Speaker 3:But that faded out. And then I met Ames and then, you know, we had Hayley, and then so playing out the music dream kind of died Like yeah, dude, you need to get a job. Like you have a baby now. You got a wife, you know. And then we had Sammy, and then I got a house and then I was like, okay, this shit's never gonna happen. But I never gave up on it. I had a recording studio at the house and kept playing and wrote a gazillion songs. I wrote so many songs from 15. And I just wrote a new one a couple of weeks ago. It's a musical, it's just, it's an instrumental song, but yeah, it just. You know it never ends.
Speaker 1:I love it. What is, what does it look like to write a song Like? What does that process look like for you? Has it always been the same or has it evolved over time?
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's different every time. A lot of it just happened.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's different. Like this last song, I've been doing some finger picking kind of stuff. You know which. You know I used to play with a pick and I always mess with the finger picking things, but I'm not very good at it.
Speaker 3:But I kind of figured out my own little way to get around and then I found a couple of things that I liked and they stuck and then I put pieces together and then I had two pieces. I had to take it back. I had three pieces and I was like all right, I need one more piece to make this thing happen. And I think it was like one o'clock in the morning, I was sitting on the couch and I was pretty tired and I was just kind of going through it and all of a sudden I put together these four or five chords and I'm like that's it. That's how it came about. The whole song was completed after I wrote that one part. But I wasn't thinking anything, it just magically happened, or yeah, you just keep meditating on it, enough, where you're tuning yourself into finding that piece. And then when I found it, I'm like, oh, there it is. And then the next day I went and recorded it.
Speaker 1:So this is so fascinating to me, but take us deeper into that process. So when you say you had like three pieces, does it start with you just picking, like you just creating the music, or do the words come first? Or what makes up those pieces?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I don't think there's a formula or a process like in order. I guess you can follow one, maybe if you're a songwriter, for, like a country artist, I could see that because most country songs all follow the same patterns, even though they figured out how to say the word love a zillion different ways, they know how to twist it and turn it. So I think there's an art to that. But as far as how I do it and I think a lot of other people do it this way too you start playing and something kind of just it catches you.
Speaker 3:You play it two or three times Like oh, that's kind of cool, and then you just you want to go back to it, you know, and you're like huh, where's this gonna go, yeah, and then it just evolves, you know, and then you just roll with it and then you hopefully, like with this song, I was going to do it instrumental and it's actually a song I'm dedicating to my kids. So it's kind of weird, like I don't want to put words in it because I don't want to get all hokey, but at the same time I wanted to be you think you're hokey?
Speaker 1:I was oh not here today in this song.
Speaker 3:You mean, yeah, I want hokey sometimes, but I mean like in the song. I didn't want it to be too hokey. Like you know, I really want it to be something where the music creates the imagination or the thoughts.
Speaker 1:Like you feel it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Sometimes narrating a song can ruin it. How many songs have you listened to where you swore they were the words and then you look them up and they're like that's not the words of the song.
Speaker 2:And it kind of ruins the song right.
Speaker 1:Totally. It's like reading the book and watching the movie, you know, yeah, so that song we played, we actually I'm going to put it in the beginning of our show today. But tell us a little bit about that song. That song is pretty deep, like. I feel a lot when I listen to that song.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that song is. The cool thing about that song is I wrote that. I wrote that a long time ago. The guitar part I wrote, probably in 98, something like that and then I wrote all the guitar part. The entire musical part was written. I didn't change it at all and then I was just going to leave it that way, cause at the time I was writing a lot of just musical stuff. I was like I don't want to write words and cause in my mind I thought people don't care about words. You know it's weird. And then someone told me that it kind of goes back to where we were talking about before. When you ask someone's opinion that you think you trust, and then they say something to you and for some reason, whatever it is, it kind of worms into your brain and then you think there's a truth to what they said, and maybe there is. But you know when you're, when you're, when you allow people to influence you, you get screwed up. It's better to trust yourself and just be wrong.
Speaker 1:Anyway, Gosh, we could go down a whole conversation with that. That keeps going.
Speaker 3:So, anyway, the musical part came out. I was, I really liked it and then and then the words came out and it was. It was a time when Amy and I were going to church and taking the kids to church and I've always struggled with not so much church but just the whole process of belief and prayer and all that stuff trying to, trying to make it work into my life, where I felt like I wasn't being, like I wasn't being authentic. You know, I want it to be authentic.
Speaker 1:Instead of like a facade or pretending or a yeah Like, look at the picture of us on the wall.
Speaker 3:We are a perfect little Christian family.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 3:And I'm like I'm from Jersey first of all. So all that goes out the door because my mouth gets me in trouble and I act a certain way, and not saying I'm a bad or good person, I'm just feeling like you know, I curse a lot to be a good Christian guy, you know, but anyway. So when that song came out it really made me question, like you know what's motivating me, you know to be who I am and what's leading me. Am I doing it because it's my own internal pool from the way I grew up, or is there some spiritual thing that's guiding me? And you know, you pray for that stuff and you think, well, maybe that has something to do with it and maybe it does. But I've always struggled with that. Even to this day I still struggle with it.
Speaker 2:And I'm okay with it now.
Speaker 3:I think it used to bother me. It used to be like man, like how come these other people feel I feel like they're 100% in, or maybe they're just pretending that they're 100% in? You know, I think people do that all the time, and that's what that song is really about, you know.
Speaker 1:And then I think we could all relate to that. I was just reading something this morning that was about Just the naturalness of that struggle with God you know, and that just grappling, just like you're saying, like something will get in my brain and then I'm just grappling with you know, what is? What does God want? Where is God guiding me? What's the right thing? What's the you know?
Speaker 3:yeah.
Speaker 1:So I think that's probably something we grapple with for the rest of our life, figuring that out.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I often wonder where it started from, because obviously the idea either it's either already written on your heart or someone influenced you to kind of think that way. You know, living back yeast, a lot of my friends and a lot of people I know are Catholic and I have nothing bad to say about Catholic people, but they definitely will remind you that God will get you if you do this or you know those kinds of things and man you hear that Catholic and you'll, yeah, you start thinking well, maybe there's some truth to it, because people believe it and they believe it.
Speaker 3:That's it, like there's no turning back on that, and I wanted to get distance myself from that as much as possible. And there was another thing people talked about not being worthy at the church all the time, and that used to bug me. I'm like well, first of all, if God made you in his image, then you're worthy, regardless of what you do or you don't do, because you were already made. So let's stop with that nonsense right now, because that's not going to get us anywhere. But maybe they're looking at it differently, I don't know.
Speaker 1:Well, there was a line in your song that was one thing about like how my something about deserving, like how am I deserving of all these things I don't deserve, or something Do you remember.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Worthy of deserving right.
Speaker 3:Yeah, how am I deserving of all this love that I deserve? I deserve it all. Yeah, why am I so, yeah? Yeah, that's exactly the point of the whole song. It's a horrible feeling to be in that circle or whatever that is, and but I never really felt that way, but I was around people who felt that way and believed that way. And when you know, I played guitar in the worship band, which was really weird because I was in this rock alternative band two years prior to that yeah.
Speaker 3:Then they asked me to play and I thought I'm not going to do that because those guys suck, you know, and I can do this, and then, but there were some really talented musicians but the worship songs that they played were cool because they were talking about being broken, which I like that, because I think we all are to some extent. But to not feel worthy of something that's supposed to be created, you, I think it's. It's like it's kind of I don't know, I don't want to say it's mental illness, but it's really not a healthy thing to be thinking, in my opinion.
Speaker 3:You know, so true so true.
Speaker 1:So take us back to you know you were talking about this. It's better to trust yourself and be wrong. Like how has, how has that played a role in your journey as a songwriter and a creative? You know, like, really, because it it's really, I go through that myself. Like just trusting the ideas that are put on my heart, like I feel like God has been telling me that this year just trust the ideas I put on your heart, and sometimes it can feel so scary to put them out there, and so I'm sure you've grappled with that a bit.
Speaker 3:Yeah, well, yeah, I think. I mean I think we all grapple with that every day. Really, I don't know, I feel like the I've been obsessed with with music and and thank God, because I feel like everything else in life is kind of lame. You know, music is just, you know, kind of it touches all the parts of life that you can't, you can't grasp, you know, and it kind of fills those gaps. But God, I don't feel like God has ever said, hey, write this song.
Speaker 3:Now, I did write songs for the church. I don't know if I wrote three or four songs for the church. I had a pastor in Tennessee asked me to write a song on the I think it was the golden rule or the number one rule, like love your neighbor as yourself, kind of thing, and I wrote a really dark song about it and I played it at the church and stuff like that. I don't think it was anything that they were thinking that was going to come out, but that's just what came out. But it was. It was cool to me because it it was at the ground level, you know, it wasn't like fluffy, it was. There was a struggle in it and I think that I think that's why people love sad songs. Sad songs make you happy in a weird way, you know or they lift you up.
Speaker 1:Well, they help. They help me feel. Sometimes they help me feel things that I may not be able to access, like you said, any other way.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And music and just help it come out.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I agree, very cool.
Speaker 1:So cool.
Speaker 3:Did I answer your question? I don't even know if I did. I don't think you did what was the question again.
Speaker 1:I guess it's really about kind of trusting yourself and your ideas and your songs and the face of maybe fear of judgment or failure or right yeah, criticism or whatever it is.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, I think I think when you get older, I think that you just there's things that start to fall off you. You know, if you keep fighting them off, they'll eventually stop attaching themselves to you. If you let them attach themselves to you, then they'll keep coming. But I've always been kind of rebellious, like get off me, like I don't, I don't want, I don't want to be controlled. You know, I don't want to be told what to do and you know, obviously it's, it's, it's cost me a few jobs, you know, and probably relationships with people, but I don't regret any of it for a second, you know. I mean like I just want to be me to a hundred, you know as much as possible, and I'm flawed to the, to the core. I'm not saying I'm not, but I'm. I would rather be flawed in my own doing and someone else's, you know crap.
Speaker 1:I feel like I spent half my life trying to be something I wasn't and like the second half of my life has been learning how to come home to who I am.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And like that's been the coolest journey.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you guys are in a good spot, it seems to me. When I went, even from just a year and a half ago, it's been great hanging out with you guys and seeing what you guys are doing and seeing how connected you are. It's pretty amazing.
Speaker 1:Likewise, likewise, we feel the same way about you guys. I am Share with us. Um, what are some of your standout moments like on stage, off stage. Like you, even when we were talking before we hit record today, you were talking about um, you know, like sitting there and wondering what people might be thinking in the crowd. You know, I think we can all relate to that. You know the crazy crap that happens in our head right, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:I think when, um, when I started playing guitar and I got to the point where, obviously, I could play it and no one else could play in my neighborhood.
Speaker 3:Let me back up a second. So when I got an acoustic guitar when I was in third grade and I played a little bit, but I would walk around the neighborhood by myself a lot in New Jersey and there was a kid named Billy Clements who was probably in sixth grade or seventh grade, maybe eighth grade, and I don't know if I told you the story before, but I could hear him playing his guitar and he lived in one of his old colonial houses with the big porches and he lived on a third floor. It was like just him and his dad and I didn't know him. But I knew who he was and I remember I knocked on his door and I'm like, hey man, can I play your guitar? I'm like third grade. And he said, sure, open the door.
Speaker 3:We went up the steps and he had a Gibson SG and if you don't know what that is, that's the same guitar that Angus Young uses from AC DC and he plugged it into a stereo and he walked out of the room and I played for I don't know an hour and I don't really complain anything. And then he came in and he showed me how to play a Def Leppard song Photograph. You know that one.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:So I went home and got on my acoustic and I played that to death and then I figured out the little parts and you know, and I would do that on a regular basis. I'd walk around a neighborhood and I would just show up at his house randomly before I got my electric car. But then by the time I got to sixth grade I could play and I went into the talent show and I played a Rush song called Limelight. And, answering your other question, Like I didn't really have any fear about playing when I was younger or singing or performing in front of people, I'm really self-conscious. Now then, for some reason, it's like something happened and it's kind of like it's permanently there now. But when I was younger I don't remember ever really having any issues. I would sing out in front of people, or. But then yeah, so sixth grade talent show was pretty cool. And then some of the gigs I do now are pretty funny.
Speaker 3:I'll be playing an original song and someone will get up and I think they're going to get up and leave. I'm like as soon as I see someone stand up and I'm playing, I'm like they're leaving. They hate what I'm doing, they think I suck. And I remember one time a guy left and I'm like sure he left and then he comes back and he walked all the way up to me and I'm like what's this guy doing?
Speaker 3:I'm still singing and playing and he dropped $20 bill in my guitar case and he goes dude, that song is awesome and I just was like what? I was like no, it's not. Your body language was telling me that. I sucked the whole time. But my perceptions way off. When I'm playing, I felt like I was. I could read people maybe a little bit, or at least body language pick up cues, but there's a dialogue that goes on in my head when I'm playing that is not truthful to me and I have to always have to kind of put it in its little box Like go all right, go ahead, do your thing, but I'm not listening to you.
Speaker 1:I love that. That's so good for on stage and life and you talk about that dialogue that changes your perception. It's like a lens right that those thoughts distort what we actually see and experience. That's what I work with clients on, but that it's so powerful. But I love this idea of putting it in a container and setting it aside. Like you're not going to run the show tonight.
Speaker 3:You're not running the show. You can't run it off, Like it won't go away. It wakes up the minute. No, it wakes up the minute you acknowledge that there's a possibility. That's there and, yeah, I haven't been able to run it off.
Speaker 1:But you can shift your relationship to it, which is exactly what you're talking about.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And that's that's where it loses some of its power. But for people listening, you know what's what goes on in your head. I mean quit, and I crack up about it because you know we've. We've been in the room many a time when you're playing and, oh my gosh, it's amazing. Like anybody listening, you got to look, pick up and we'll give you that info. But to be in the room when you're playing is is a really amazing, cool experience. And you know, when I hear what you have on in your head, I'm thinking that's craziness. But I know my own head and what it does. Yeah, torment me, and so we all have that right.
Speaker 1:Yeah you don't let it stop, you is is what matters.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think, I think a lot of people have it. There are some people who, I think, don't have it and they're the people that are really extraordinary, I mean. And athletes are like that too. I was just watching the last dance with Michael Jordan and he didn't have that and it said, if anything, he had the opposite going on in his head. He had the voice telling him that he was unstoppable and amazing and it fueled his. You know, he just had, he was in perfect harmony with his, with that, with that little voice. And yeah, I'm not sure where you know where you get that. I mean, maybe you can develop that, but I think you're born with it.
Speaker 1:Well, I think, maybe both, maybe, maybe both. I think you can develop it. I remember hearing on a podcast a couple of years ago somebody. This guy said make your mind your best friend. And I just thought, wow, that's really cool. Like I, over the years, like this used to completely work against me, you know, my head was always working against me. But learning to sort of befriend your mind and be an advocate for yourself is, you know, it makes a huge difference.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you got this. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I remember the first time I was in a group, like in a training, and normally that voice in my head was always just pushing me down and shunning me and making me wrong and telling me I wasn't capable. And I, the leader, called me up to the front of the room for something and normally I would have just like sunk in fear and it was the first time that that voice in my head was like you got this.
Speaker 1:You got this and it was the coolest experience. Yeah, wow, you can actually like have peace and, like you said, that harmony of like what you, who you want to be, what you're up to, and have your thoughts align with that is a really powerful experience.
Speaker 3:It is. I think we all want to do that. You know I'll like to see the human nature. We all want to be able to stand out or have that internal thing come out of us. It's easier when you're an artist or you have a way to kind of create. I don't know if it's easier, but I think the perception is it. Maybe it's easier that you're able to create something you know, but what you know if you're, if you don't have a way to, if you don't have a creative outlet, I don't know. I it's hard to think like everyone needs a creative outlet, right, and a lot of, it's just like a vehicle to get that stuff out of you.
Speaker 3:I guess some people bury themselves in work. You know, I don't know. You know what I mean? No, you definitely need a way to do it.
Speaker 1:It made me think of this woman, Edith Eager. She wrote this book called the Gift, but there's a quote in there. She says the opposite of depression is expression, and I think that I think that's really powerful, because I think we do need a vehicle to express and sort of figure out who we are.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think so. Yeah, it's cool, go ahead, go ahead. No, I think it's cool. I had a.
Speaker 3:I played yesterday at a place and you know I wear sunglasses usually when I play, even if it's dark. You know, a lot of times it's the lighting, but I do it because I I don't like to see all the people that I think that are judging me out there, you know. So I kind of put the sunglasses on and I can close my eyes and play, or if I don't have sunglasses, I usually have my eyes closed. But yesterday a younger guy sat just to the right of me and I thought, oh God, here we go, like it's going to be too loud and they're going to say something stupid. It was just completely the opposite.
Speaker 3:And after the show he came up to me and he had a couple beers. I think he was super genuine, though, and he was really sweet to me and he was like he's like dude, you were. That was like hearing heaven, or said something along those lines and he totally meant it and he got choked up a little bit and then he got me all choked up because I'm a sap, like I could, like I might, I could cry on a dime, you know, and I'm like, oh, thank you, man. I'm like I really appreciate you saying that. It means a ton to me.
Speaker 3:And then he kept, you know, of course he had a couple beers in me, so then he was trying to say it in another way, but he kept saying the same thing and I thought that's so cool, such a cool thing to hear. And then it breaks me because I'm thinking this isn't something that was like. I've given my, I played my whole life just to get to the point where I could play out in front of people where they can enjoy it my whole life. And it's really cool, you know, to get that you know, it's really cool.
Speaker 3:Yeah, very cool.
Speaker 1:Well, and you will, I mean like the impact that you have on people. I don't know that's pretty cool. You know, like that guy shared it with you about how many people sit there and have an experience, you know, that inspires them or moves them, that you don't get to hear about. You know, I'm sure there's lots music is powerful. It is that's really cool.
Speaker 3:I agree, I always think that too. I wonder if people are digging it. You know as much as some other people, but I don't know. I mean, I guess it would be great if everyone you know came there to listen to you play. You know, in my mind I always think about that. Like you know, I wish everyone listened to every song I'm playing and love every song. Like when you go to a Pearl Jam concert, I'm like, oh my God, I want to do this. I want 40,000 people to sing along with me, but at the same time, if two people dig it, it's fun too, you know.
Speaker 1:I love when you and Hailey get up there together. Oh my gosh, that's amazing. That's his daughter, and sometimes they sing together and it is an unforgettable experience.
Speaker 3:It is so cool. Yeah, I'm sure for you I can't imagine what that's yeah.
Speaker 3:It's kind of surreal because she's got such a good voice, she's got a killer voice and she knows the words to all my songs. You know so, and I think all my kids do. I mean, I know I know Sammy does, because Sammy listens to all the same music I do. But I know, you know, hailey used to sing with me and remember the first time we were, I was sitting we actually were in California, I was playing the guitar, and then there's a bunch of people at the house and Hailey's kind of like me, she likes people, but she likes to be like by herself or just in a small group.
Speaker 3:You know, I just get, you know, just draining, right. So come hang out with me and we're playing and I'm singing and she's singing all these songs. And we did that song and I was like, wow, it sounds so much nicer when she sings it, you know. So we started, we started playing it in front of people and then when, of course, when I started gigging, she'd come in and sing it with me and I have a recording of that too. I'll have to send it to you if her singing in the recording studio.
Speaker 1:Oh, please do. Yeah, it's pretty awesome, I love that.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So tell us, tell us kind of what, where are you headed, what are you? What's the? You know, it's kind of interesting, like I think a lot about writing our story. You know, kind of I feel like we get to take part in creating what's next in our story. And so what's what's next in your story?
Speaker 3:I'll tell you what's not. Next is I'm not going back to get a real job. That's not going to happen. I'm going to play music and a capacity somehow, you know, either playing out or being involved in that. Somehow I've been. It's been cool because even like with COVID this year, I had six weeks off and then in May I was gigging again. So even through all this hoopla I still been able to gig. And then I picked up a couple agencies that have me now. So I have like six booking agencies that book me, book gigs for me, plus I booked my own. So my my schedule's getting full. I'm getting gigs, you know, outside of my normal area, like this weekend or tonight I'm playing in Goodyear and then Wednesday I'm in Scottsdale, friday I'm in Phoenix and Saturday I'm in Scottsdale in the morning and then in Gilbert in the evening, and then Sunday I'm in Buckeye. So I'm all over the place, all over the county and you're playing a lot.
Speaker 3:A lot of gigs and I'm very thankful for that. I mean, I, when I lay in bed, that's the first thing. I think. I'm just thankful to be playing, you know, so awesome and be able to get some money out of it too. You know, I'm getting good gigs and people are super generous too. I've been getting really nice tips from people and I come home I'm like holy crap, like I should have started this 20 years ago. But yeah, so that's it. I'm just going to gig out as much as possible. Amy and I are always trying to figure out like I'd like to get a little Boater home, obviously, and maybe figure out a way to book shows up in Colorado or Texas, or you know, I'm trying to stay away from California right now, but I'd still go there. And then, you know, head back to Tennessee and maybe the East Coast for the summer and you know, and just do some small gigs. You know, I think it's doable, you know.
Speaker 1:I love that.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, and I think about you know, like you said, not going back to a job, I don't know in working with lots of people over the years, I feel like I mean in looking at your life from where I sit it's like it's all unfolding exactly as it's supposed to you know, yeah, and sometimes when we're in a job and there's a lot of friction I see this so much with clients where there's like a lot of friction and you know there's, they have a lot of struggle and are not sure what's happening.
Speaker 1:But I'm always really curious when there starts to be a lot of friction because I think you know, possibly it's intentionally there to move them, move them in a new direction, and I can see that with you. Yeah.
Speaker 3:It's really. So do you think the friction is created by them and they kind of allow the friction, or the friction just kind of happens? Naturally, because you made me think of something. I think sometimes, when friction gets created, when people want out, and then they create their own friction to kind of, yeah, like, let's put that on the table, because that seems to be something that's not working for me, and then you know, yeah, I think it's both.
Speaker 1:I mean, I think sometimes we do create the friction and I think sometimes I mean for me. I think sometimes God creates the friction, Like to get us and like, well, we're not. Maybe we've been getting a message like you need to do this, you need to do this, you need to move here, and we're not listening, and we're not listening, and we're not listening. I feel like sometimes God will make it uncomfortable enough that we'll actually move.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I know for me in my life there's been so many times where I resisted that nudge to move and I discounted it or questioned it or just sat and stood in it for way too long. And I've made a promise to just listen sooner and act faster when I feel that, because I do think that is, you know, God moving you and I don't know, given what you've shared today and your path and what's been in you since the time you were five, it's clear you're here to make music and yeah, I think so.
Speaker 1:And that's pretty exciting that you're you know you're letting it fly.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I always you know it's like. To me, following that nudge is more important than knowing whether it's going to work out or it's not going to work out, or how it's going to look or right Like you don't have to be so attached to that. But if you just follow that, it's going to lead to something cool. That's what I think.
Speaker 3:I think you're right. I think it's. It has to be kind of a healthy obsession with it, like this is what I want to do and I'm not listening to anyone else or not buying any more information from people who think they know, because no one knows anything. I mean, that's, that's the truth. But you know, going back to you, you said something earlier that and it kind of goes back to that song Am I real that I wrote that I sent you?
Speaker 3:When Amy and I moved to Tennessee, I had my own business at the time. I was selling computer hardware and software. It was a business called Iglo distribution and I still use that name. It's under Iglo music now, obviously. But we had bought a house here in Goodyear and within a year and a half we moved our entire family to Tennessee. We didn't know anybody and it was all on faith, like we're going there. You know, obviously the music was, it was in the traction. I thought, well, maybe some, some, I can find my way into getting into music. But my kids were small and I've always been dedicated to making sure I was around to them. That's why I worked from home and figured out a way to make money from home and stuff like that, so I could be with my kids.
Speaker 3:But when we moved there it was in 2006, right when the when the housing market took a dump, so I lost my house here. I ended up losing my house in Tennessee and I thought I was supposed to move there because God wanted me to move there, or or I was, you know, something like that. I mean I remember going to church with people and then and then kind of praising us for trusting and and you know, I don't know. I don't know why we went through all that. I mean that was a huge struggle and and maybe there some of the motivation of why I'm like I'm just doing music, I'm just going to do this because it's the only thing that's true To me. You know, everything else is kind of like well, I think that's true. Maybe it's working for me right now. You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:No, I, I, I thought about that and that was a huge suffering. But the beauty of it is we were there for three and a half years. We moved back, I took him crappy jobs sitting in an office, sitting in a cubicle, and then now my daughter moved back to Tennessee and she's living there and you know we only have three and a half years, but it feels like home to her. So I'm glad it all happened. I just wish it wasn't such a struggle, because it really took years off my life. You know. I mean I struggled financially trying to figure out how am I going to. You know, my kids were super small. You know Amy's working. I was pretty shitty, I was in a really shitty place but and I did it because I thought, well, this is where God wants me to go, you know. So I don't know. I don't know where he wanted me to go.
Speaker 1:Sometimes we don't exactly now, right, but I'm curious were there, was there growth or like gems out of that challenge, right, like going through it? There wasn't, but who did you become because of that?
Speaker 3:Well, tennessee was. It changed us all. We went there and the people of Tennessee, especially in the little town we grew up, we were living in, it was just amazing. I mean, I never met so many beautiful human beings all in one area. They really were amazing and they still are. You know, when Hayley went out there she lived with my friend David as a police officer and Tracy for several months. They were like, yeah, she can just stay here.
Speaker 3:No biggie, just stay here, yeah, just make sure you're doing what you're doing. And of course, hayley, she has that type of personality anyway. But yeah, so that's a gem. Sammy wants to move back. Obviously, amy just sent me a picture of a house that she wants to look at when we go back there in April.
Speaker 3:So yeah, there were a bunch of nuggets in there, but the struggle was real, man. I mean I was in a bad spot and you know, and yeah, you figure it out. I mean it just sucked because you only get to be with your kids when they're that small. Obviously, for a short amount of time and as much as I was available, I was still kind of checked out in a lot of areas because I had to figure out where I was going to come out with money. Yeah, and everyone I guess maybe has that.
Speaker 3:But there's other people who really made out on that deal, who there's like I had some out of his felt envious or like resentment. I'm like man, they made out, they sold that house at the right time, they made that. And now there are other houses paid for, because that was the whole goal was like, hey, we'll take the money we're making off this house, go pay by house out there, have a little farm on you know, have a little little dream come true, and none of it did I mean. It was like nope, that's not what's happening, dude.
Speaker 1:We got other plans for you, yeah. So, yeah, I always I don't know. I think about the hardest times that that we've gone through too, as a couple or as a family or as an individual. But it's always so uncomfortable going through it. But looking back I'm always like, oh yeah, I wouldn't change that because I needed that or that helped us grow in this way or yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3:I feel like the greatest growth comes from the hardest crap, you know, yeah yeah, no, I agree with that too, which is which is kind of annoying, right, you're kind of like man, I didn't really want to go through all that challenge.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, embrace it.
Speaker 3:Embrace it yeah.
Speaker 1:You just got to keep going yeah that's right. So the story is. The story is still being written. So tell people where they can find your music, where can they listen to you, where can they find out about your gigs all that good stuff.
Speaker 3:So my website is probably the best place wwwigloamusiccom. That has all my information, has pictures, there's some videos on there. It has all my gigs. My gigs are updated daily, so it's all real time. You can sync your Google Calendar to it if you wanted to. As far as music goes, I have a bunch of songs in the studio that I haven't gone back to and finished yet, and that's just another hang up that I have. Like I start stuff and then I'm afraid to finish it because what if it sucks? And then I'll hate it, so it's better to not have it done. And then I have a couple other albums that used to be out on Spotify. There's one song on Spotify right now. It's called Light Up your Mind. That's a pretty good song. It's by the band Feel. I was the lead singer in that band. That's on Spotify. And then I go to music. You can Google that and find videos or whatever of me, but I'm not on Instagram or Facebook or anything like that right now, just a website.
Speaker 1:Awesome, Check him out. You'll be so glad you did Any final thoughts anything. I didn't ask you that you wished I had.
Speaker 3:No, God, all those questions you asked me. Every time I was going to answer, I felt my eyes bulting up. I was like why am I feeling so emotional?
Speaker 3:I really appreciate it, Appreciate the questions, because it validates a lot of the things that I'm doing and a lot of people just don't like, oh man, it's so awesome you get to do that. But the struggle was real man, to get to a point where I could play out and now I'm learning all these cool songs I'm doing hall notes Michael Jackson, Prince and all my stuff that I love Chris Cornell, Pearl Jam, House and Chains and play all those songs. It's been awesome. But yeah, it wasn't like I just decided to do it yesterday. I've always wanted to do it. Just finally I had to just climb that mountain and climb another mountain and then finally the door opened up.
Speaker 3:I met Chad. Chad was like dude, I got you, this is how you do it, and I'm like really, he goes. Yep, he goes. You just have to trust. Now. He would be a great person to interview if you ever wanted to talk to anyone. He's one of the most aspiring people I've ever met and he's a killer musician and just the sweetest dude on the planet. But yeah, so you have to, I think I guess the only thing I would say is, if you have something and you love it, you should do it, because it will inspire other people regardless. Even, like you said, some people at the shows might be inspired but they don't come up and say anything to you, or vice versa, and you should always. If you're doing something you love to do, you should do it and just try to kill it. Just do your very best when you do it, and then it will make other people happy.
Speaker 1:I love that. I love that there's a guy, his book Serenevis Rao anyway, there was a line that said you know, just leave your heart on the stage. And I just, I love that, like just playful out. Yeah whatever it is you're doing, I love that.
Speaker 1:Thanks for having this conversation, you know if you talk about your friend Chris, and you know it's like the people in our path that show up in our path. You know, sometimes they're there for a long time, sometimes they're there for a short time and just to you know, inspire you, and then they're gone and I just really grateful for you guys being on our path too.
Speaker 3:Thanks, man. I'm really grateful to meet you guys too. It's kind of funny. You know, me and Q always talk about that time. We met, you know, at the lunch room.
Speaker 1:Over egg salad. Egg salad.
Speaker 3:Like yeah, I mean that, if that doesn't define Hay and I are relationship more than anything. Like dude, you eat eggs out. I'm like yeah, he's like I love eggs out. I'm like me too, and that was it.
Speaker 1:And the rest is history, and the rest is history Like. So simple right, so simple and so pure, and the friendship you guys have.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's very genuine and I'm thankful for you guys, man, very much. So thanks for having me on differently Appreciate it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thanks for being here.
Speaker 3:Absolutely.