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Differently: Stop living by default. Start living by design.
Differently is for when you need to get out of your head and back into your life.
Created and hosted by Carla Reeves, creator of The Differently Journal, her work is built on over 20 years of helping people use writing to navigate real life. Not as a habit to keep up with, but as a way to calm your mind, get clear, and move forward.
You are always writing your life, whether it’s in your mind or on paper.
It's time to take the pen back.
Turn overthinking and self doubt into clarity, confidence, creativity and momentum.
Stop surviving your life. Start creating it.
Differently: Stop living by default. Start living by design.
Client Spotlight: Make Joy Loops with Samantha Brodt
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Sometimes it's the "one more thing" that becomes the catalyst for positive change. When life feels too busy and overwhelming it's easy to convince yourself that this is just part of adult life. Another option is to step up and take a chance to make a change.
That is exactly what Samantha did!
In this episode, I have a conversation with my client Samantha Brodt, Senior Account Manager at GE Healthcare Financial Services. Samantha shares what she did to lighten her load and while her circumstances are the same, she is navigating her life, differently. Stay tuned until the end where she shares the beautiful surprise that awaited her during the last weeks of working together. She is now chasing joy and working toward making the world a little better, one little gesture at a time.
Samantha has been a champion for women’s leadership and mentoring initiatives throughout her career and has chaired several events including the Women Lead HERe Conferences. The next one is coming soon where I am honored to be speaking :) - see link below.
LEAD HERe CONFERENCE INFO
9th Annual Women Lead HERe Conference
Date: Friday, November 5th (delivered virtually)
Registration link HERE – registration is open!
Use code CARLAR for a 20% discount
You can reach Samantha at:
samantha.brodt@ge.com
www.gehcfinance.com
LinkedIn
Learn more about Carla: https:/www.carlareeves.com/
Connect on IG: https://www.instagram.com/carlasreeves/
Learn more about Carla:
Website: https://www.differentlyco.com
Get The Differently Journal:
https://differently.myflodesk.com/journal
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Connect on LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/reevescarla/
Connect on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@differentlythepodcast
Go to https://differentlyco.com/events to get The Class schedule, sign up, and/or pass it on to a friend. Come hang out and learn with us for FREE!
Book a Complimentary Strategy Call with Carla: https://bookme.name/carlareeves/strategycall
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Thank you for listening!
Are you someone who has a lot of things going well in your life? Maybe success in many different areas. Life looks good on paper, but inside I feel overwhelmed. Let me introduce you to my guest today. Meet Samantha. For over 20 years, Samantha has been an accomplished leader in the equipment finance industry. For the past nine years, she's been a senior account manager at GE Healthcare Financial Services. She serves on boards most recently with the Healthcare Financial Management Association. She is a two-time cancer survivor. She's passionate about medical self-advocacy and prioritization of testing and screening. She's been a champion for women's leadership and mentoring initiatives throughout her career, and she has chaired several events, including the Women Lead Here Conference, which you'll get to hear more about. She says she's a terrible but fully content golfer. She's been married to her best friend for 20 years, and they have one uh amazing daughter, Barrett. She's currently chasing joy and working toward making the world a little better, one gesture at a time. She clearly has a full plate, and when we started working together, her plate felt really heavy, and the responsibility of it all just felt like too much. As she learned to focus on the things she could control, to turn down the pressure and make changes in the way she was doing things. She challenged and questioned rules she had created for herself and made space for a new way to live. Her load didn't change, but her approach has, and this has made a huge impact where it matters most to her. As we work together to lighten the internal load she was placing on herself, she made space for her true purpose to reveal itself. And you are about to hear all about that and more. I just bet you're going to love her as much as I do. I'm Carla Reeves, and this is Differently, a podcast where we explore the ins and outs of what becomes possible when we're willing to think, do, and show up differently to the moments of our everyday lives. Hey Samantha, welcome to Differently.
SPEAKER_01Hi, Carla. Thank you for having me. I'm excited.
SPEAKER_00I'm so excited to have you here. It was such an incredible honor to work with you. And I'm just excited to give people a peek into how that all transpired and from your perspective. And yeah, let's just dive in. Why don't you I'd love for you to give people paint a picture of kind of who you are and what you do in the world and who you are, yeah.
SPEAKER_01A self-portrait. Here we go. So um apart from my career at GE Healthcare Financial Services, um I well, with that, I provide um funding solutions for healthcare organizations, so hospitals, imaging centers, physician groups, uh, for the equipment that they need to provide patient care. And I've been doing that for longer than I probably care to admit, but you know, around 20 years in the equipment finance realm. And I just love it. I mean, I've got a great team, it's um, you know, a good company to work for, and I really enjoy my work. Outside of that, I'm really heavily involved with a professional trade association called the Healthcare Financial Management Association, or HFMA, um, and more specifically the Arizona chapter. And um, one of the key events that we've done now, this will be our ninth year, is a women's leadership conference. So having been on the planning committee for the it's called the Women Lead Here Conference, um Yeah, that takes up, you know, more time than just takes up quite a bit of time, but I love it. I mean, I love the volunteering aspect. So um, you know, I got a pretty um full day job. I do some volunteering through that association. Um, I'm married to a great guy that we've been together for 30 years, um, and we have one terrific daughter. So yeah, it's it's it's just a a full, very full life, and I love it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I love that. So take us back to um how we just tell the story of how you and I got connected and how we met and so as part of the right, where it all began.
SPEAKER_01The as part of the planning committee, we we needed to go and find really terrific speakers. And it was um one of my friends on the committee, Kelly Bauer, who said, Oh, we found this great speaker, her name's Carla Reeves, you know, we're we're getting ready to lock her in as a keynote speaker. Um and then we had to pivot that to virtual uh because of COVID. And so I know that we were really concerned at the time, like, oh my gosh, were all of our speakers gonna stick with us? Uh, you know, new format, it's not on a physical stage. But um, we were very, very fortunate to be able to book you as a keynote speaker for last year's event. And um, you know, so some of the initial planning and discussions just sort of through email, oh, this looks really great. Really, really excited. And um, you know, I think our our event was better be because of it. So fast forward, we're we're sitting there, I'm in front of my computer, listening to you speak, and I'm just taking notes just furiously, right? Like, oh, new thoughts, new actions, new results. Well, yeah, I'm all for it. Uh, and I took a bunch of notes and and all of these takeaways that but you know, sort of after the conference closed, like, all right, you're just back to sort of everyday life. So you get this like big push for inspiration and and um, you know, I mean, there's some takeaways that that that I still carry with me and um, you know, it don't believe everything that you think. There, your Carla isms uh still still ring true. But um, you know, after the conference, you got this this great wave of inspiration and and wonderful speaking, and then I started following you on Instagram and started listening to the podcast. So it's you know, I feel that we've been connected for a really long time, um, albeit I sort of feel like I was sort of sitting in the audience just watching and and taking notes.
SPEAKER_00And then I feel like we I feel like I want you to give a little shape to the event because it was such it was such a great event. And I know we're gonna talk about this year's event later, but just give a little context to the event because you guys did such an amazing job. And I honestly, as a speaker, I was really confronted when it went virtual, and I thought, can I do this? Like I hadn't ever delivered a talk that way, and I didn't know if you'd be able to really connect with people and have it, you know, have deep meaning. And you guys did such a good job of that whole entire day of really I I had no idea a virtual event could be so impactful and so engaging. And I I was really wowed by what you guys created in that. So bring a little context to thank the event itself.
SPEAKER_01Thank you, thank you, thank you. Um yeah, so I I think we we tried as hard as we could to sort of mimic an in-person event. So um we have uh you know a keynote speaker, we always partner with a great charitable organization locally to try to help raise awareness and raise funds. Um, so we give them some time on the stage, and then we have different breakout sessions so you can choose something that really resonates with you. So, you know, not everybody wants, you know, a discussion around how to manage a team. Uh, not everybody is looking for um, you know, relationship situational, like or how to how to manage conflict and things like that. So, you know, we've got this keynotes, and then you have your option to do different breakouts. And then we've got networking and then, you know, another keynote, we do more breakouts, and then an afternoon keynote. And so there really is something for everything, and it really is the the three pillars that we try to aspire to is um inspire, learn, and connect. So inspirational speakers, galore, and you know, you hear about things that other women are doing in the world and and the the struggles that they've overcome personally and professionally, and there's just you so much inspiration there. Um, that learn. There are tactical things that we learn on you know how to be a leader, either personally, professionally, how to manage um just different facets of your life, and then that connect piece, obviously a little bit more difficult through a virtual platform than in person, but we were really lucky to be able to use different tools to bring those in. So we did audience polling. We used a fun, interactive um uh program called Mentimeter, so you could build a word cloud and get immediate feedback from the audience, multiple choice questions, things like that. Um, and then we had like smaller breakout groups where we encouraged people to go cameras on, and there really was that face-to-face networking. I mean, again, it's a little bit different through the screen, but um we were all so surprised that we were able to port over that entire experience into a virtual day. And and that the conference is it's it's a full day of learning, and um, you know, it's something that I think as women, especially we don't do enough of, which is I'm gonna take this day for me. Um, you know, I'm going to turn off my work, I'm gonna put my out of office on, and I am going to sit there and I'm gonna, you know, go to the conference. Just had the joy of not having to wear high heels or tight pants or spanks. You know, you could wear your yoga pants and sneakers. So um I I I think that we did a good job sort of making lemonade out of the lemons that we were, that we were dealt there. But uh it's just something that I've been so passionate about. I I attended the first one, like I said, nine years ago and just participated in the audience and was so moved by the the caliber of women that were in the room and and the the sense of community and friendship and uh mentorship. And you know, it's just been something that I've volunteered for every single year ever since then. So I've held different uh roles volunteering just for that specific conference, um, you know, just you know, little smaller roles to even co-chairing and chairing the event. Um, but it's it's just so much fun. And and the group of women that you know help put the conference together are just incredible. And we've been, you know, again, another sort of benefit of having it be virtual is we can get great speakers from anywhere in the world.
SPEAKER_00You know, they just have to have anyone can attend because historically it was just live here in Phoenix, right?
SPEAKER_01Yep, it was. And so we had people from um, gosh, as far away as Hawaii and Maine. Uh, we had somebody from Canada and this year on the committee, it and we sort of broadcasted everywhere. So we put it out on LinkedIn and just sort of a generic Facebook, generic Instagram, um, uh Instagram accounts. And so we had people that were not from our normal sort of, I'll call it our pool of attendees within that healthcare finance group. And it's women who are entrepreneurs, women who are um, you know, they they work in their homes, you know, they're they're the head of their household, or they are, you know, they work in a salon or real estate or, you know, whatever. So it's grown organically outside of just our little healthcare cadre, but it really is just an event for for women who are looking for information on, you know, is just self-improvement all around. And we really have a really um full slate of of different speakers and topics every year that really, you know, there's there's always something for everyone. And it really is such a great conference. I'm biased, but it really is great.
SPEAKER_00It really is great. I can vouch for that. And what was really cool is you like closed the event last year in your kitchen, right? With the mixologist and like a little happy hour, and that was so fun too.
SPEAKER_01Yep, yep. We're gonna do the same thing. We're gonna play um, we've got a special cocktail. So every year we or not every year, but we've got uh like a swag box. So, you know, we want to make it feel special. It's not just another webinar, it's not just another conference call. We really we're calling it a live event that's delivered digitally. So ahead of the conference, our uh attendees will get a swag box full of all the fun, you know, tchotchkeys and things to really maximize your experience. There's, you know, QR codes for different offers from our sponsors. We have a great raffle that's uh tied to it where our charitable partner for the year will get all the proceeds. Um, but you know, we're gonna do like a virtual game night and we're gonna play Pictionary and have a custom cocktail. Um, you know, and again, it's it'll it'll all be face-to-face and it's it's just a lot of fun. It's different, but uh in some ways it's great, it's better, and in some ways, you know, that's just different.
SPEAKER_00So great. And we'll get to all the details of how you can get signed up and all of that later. Okay. Yes. So back to your story.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So uh like I said, I mean, we um, you know, I I saw you speak and was really moved and inspired and started following you, you know, as one does with uh with the great speakers and things like that, and you know, loved all the posts and and and whatnot. And then um, I want to say it was around May. I, you know, like I just I don't know. I mean, the way that I was feeling at the time, and maybe maybe that's the the way to approach this, is you know, by all accounts from the outside, like I'm killing it. I'm a successful career, I've got an amazing family, you know, terrific husband, great kid. Um, you know, I feel good about who I am as a parent, you know, all of these things. I've got an amazing group of girlfriends, and by all accounts, like, oh, okay, very successful, right? But I was just crushed. I mean, I was so overwhelmed, and just every little thing that was the weight of the world. And it was like, oh, you know, I've got um, I've got to, you know, little things, right? Oh, I have I have a new credit card. I've got to call and activate my credit card. Like, oh my gosh, it's one more thing. You know, I've gotta help my mom remember her password to Apple, like, oh my gosh, it's one more thing. You know, I've got to help my daughter with her study for her test. I like it's just, you know, it was I'd call it like AFT. It was another freaking thing. And it was depressing to know that like this, there's nothing that I could do about it that was just adult life. It but it was crushing. And it like, you know, you gotta make dinner, you gotta go to the grocery store, you gotta clean up after dinner, you've gotta, you know, go pick up after the dogs, you gotta walk the dogs, you've gotta go to work, you've got to show up. And and I just, you know, even though by outward measures, like successful, great job, it was um it was just a lot, you know, it was and it was too much, and it was sort of sinking into despair knowing that there's nothing I can do about it. It's just life.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Well, and I think the picture you paint there is is really like that's what I hear so often. You know, I think when people think of like needing coaching, they think there needs to be like, I don't know, some major problem or like some specific scenario that they're going through. And a lot of times most people I work with, their lives are like they have a lot of success in their life, and life looks good on the outside or it looks good on paper, but the individual isn't experiencing that amazing life, and it's because of the inner angst and the over, you know, burdened responsibility, or what this world that we've created for ourselves that, like you and I were talking before we hit record, that you know, we all have a load, but the heavy is in our head. And yeah, so you were feeling you had a load, and there was a lot of heavy that you and I could work with to really start to lighten that load. So I think you painted that beautifully, and it's really common that people feel that way. Um, you know, you know, like it doesn't always look like your life is falling apart. Sometimes we're just falling apart inside. It was that way for me too. Like my life looked great, and but inside I was there was a lot of inner angst that maybe not everybody on the outside could see. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And I and I think it's more common than we probably realize. I think that especially in the, you know, with the social media and things like that, where people are just really posting all the glossy highlights of their life to make the assumption that, man, uh I'm the way that I'm feeling is abnormal or less than or, you know, it's not right. But if you were to really peel back the veneer of everyone that you see, I mean, they're all going through stuff. And, you know, it's hard to manage it. It you know, it's it's life is just messy. And you know, we can we can have a great job, we can have a solid relationship, but you know, there's there's no escaping the just that, you know, call it the sand in the shorts of everyday life that for some people just it I mean for me, it got it just really a lot. And none of the things in and of themselves were, you know, like Herculean lifts, but it was like, oh my God, I I I gotta pay bills today. I don't like oh what when am I never gonna not have to pay bills? Well well, never, dummy. That's you know, life. Um, but it was just again, like every little thing felt like just such a blow. Um, you know, flat tire, it uh, you know, oh my gosh, I've got to go to the gas station and get gas. Like, shouldn't be a big deal, but it was. It was just adding up, you know, the weight of all those things.
SPEAKER_00Maxed, maxed out, yes.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Well, and I think that's so true with social media. It's like I heard somebody say, like, where, you know, you're often comparing your sort of low moment with everybody's high moments and feeling like something's wrong. What is wrong? What am I doing wrong?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Well, and I think just that whole stigma of like, you know, um, everything's not perfect. So I have bad days. I, you know, sometimes I everybody has days, you know, struggle with with your mental health and making sure that you're um, you know, staying healthy and and doing all the right things that you need to keep your psyche up. But anyway.
SPEAKER_00It's a practice.
SPEAKER_01I digress.
SPEAKER_00That's right. It's a practice.
SPEAKER_01It is a practice.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so take us back. So you you um were following me on social and I thought you saw something, right? And I did.
SPEAKER_01You know, it's like again, you see these things like inspirational posts, oh that's great, and you feel like, oh, you know, it it it's it it's sort of like a quick fix, right? Like you you go on your read something, and it's like, oh yeah, I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna I'm gonna think positive today. Okay. But it it's not lasting. And so you had posted in March um on Instagram about the heavy, right? The the heavy of the world. Our loads are heavy. Um, and that you know, the the hopeful message in there was that we can we can ease that lightness into our lives by just reminding ourselves who's in control, right? Is it me or is it my mind? I'm I'm quoting your words back to you. Um But it's and that like it was a gut punch because it was exactly what I was feeling, and it was articulate in a in a way that I hadn't heard before, you know, not through any of my self-talk or any external sources or anything like that. And it just was like, yes, this is it exactly. And so um very out of character for me, because I don't like I don't comment a lot on social media. I mean, especially like not from a public forum. Um, but I went in there and I just like, you know, verbal vomit, or well, text, I guess, you know, uh, social media vomit. I'm like, everything is adding up, and I'm like, I'm so overwhelmed, and laundry and groceries and flood tire. And um, you know, I just unloaded it, right? Like homework, being responsible for every meal. I gotta go grocery shopping, uh-uh, housekeeping, uh. And it was just, you know, I'd never done that before. And to your credit and you know, to your thank you, you sent me an email or you you posted back just a really thoughtful comment in the chat, and then followed it up with an email because we had by some stroke of fortune had already been connected, yeah. And you were like, hey, let me I think we need to talk. I saw what you wrote and let's talk. And um I it was very unexpected and again very much appreciated because I I don't think that I would have recognized that there was a way for me to sort through that uh in a meaningful way and sort of get through that, like the way that I did. So that's kind of where it all started is you know, I attended this great conference, I heard you speak, I started following you on Instagram, I started listening to your podcasts, and you know, there was there was the intersect of the thing I was feeling and struggling with and the thing that you were talking about and and sort of helping with. And from there we um yeah, we struck up a conversation about what was possible through some of the coaching programs and things like that. And I just, yeah, that's let's sign me up. Let's do it.
SPEAKER_00The rest is history. Yeah, and I think I I do remember like one of our first conversations, it was like you just the you it was sometimes what am I trying to say? For you, I remember you using the word adulting. You kind of said, you know, like almost like you had, and you correct me if I'm wrong, but like felt a little bit resigned to the fact that like this is kind of just how life is, and I think that that can happen for a lot of us where it's just because if you look around, it's like well, you know, everybody else is kind of talking about the same things and feeling the same things, and so we become resigned that life can be any different. And so I remember, you know, I think you described it as like I my life is great, and I just feel like I'm pushing a boulder up the hill. Yeah, and it was there was a lot of hard. So, yeah, so I think you had some some initial ideas of what you wanted to get out of the experience. Do you want to share any of that?
SPEAKER_01Well, and that was a question of course, of course. Um, and that was one of the questions that you asked from the start is in order for this to be considered a success, what are the things that you want to walk away with? And I really I think I had some very specific goals. Like I want to figure out sort of how do I lighten the heavy? I mean, first and foremost. Um and so if I I felt like if I could walk away with some tools, because I'm big on like, okay, you give me a bullet point list of one, two, three, these are the things that you do, and I will do them. I am really good at that. So I need the tools, I need the directions. Um, and then I threw one in there at the end of like, and you know, Carla, I think I would really like for you to help me find my purpose in life. You know, no big deal. I know we've really never spoken, but how about this? Um, it felt like you might have needed a challenge. So um, yeah, I mean, that those were those were the goals for the session. And, you know, part of me was like, okay, if if I walk away with any of those things or any part of those things, it would have been a success. But yeah, I threw it out there.
SPEAKER_00And that's really the power of intention because I remember when you said those, you know, I don't always know where the coaching journey is exactly gonna go. Like I like to put those out there so that we can keep them in front of us sort of as a guide. Um, and sometimes what people get is far different, and they're more excited about what they got than what they wanted to get. And sometimes they get exactly what they set out to get. And I do think that's the power of intention. I think it's the power of writing things down and you know, just um keeping that in front of us. And it was a beautiful thing at the end when we circled back and we'll get to that.
SPEAKER_01But yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um, yeah, so let's let's what were some of the like what was one of the challenges that you were facing that maybe felt like what was some of a a highlight moment, a challenge you faced, and maybe how we how let's talk about how we kind of worked through something.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, well, I mean, that that first part with the managing the heavy is we spent a lot of time talking about that domain of responsibility, right? So what are the things that I am in control of? What are the things that that I am not in control of, and that sort of inner layer of what are the things that I'm currently in control of but really don't need to be? And sort of, I mean, I I've got a wonderful diagram in my journal here of, you know, differ it's all color-coded and things that I that I you know I have to keep responsibility of because those are those are my things, um, things that are outside of my control. Um and then what can I delegate? And so the revelation that I didn't have to clean my own house was like magical. And we talked about like I I hate it. I hate doing it. I talked, I told you about rage mopping.
SPEAKER_00Rage mopping, that was one of my favorite moments. That was hilarious because we I've been there. I've I've rage mopped.
SPEAKER_01So, folks, if you're listening out there, you don't have to rage mop. Uh, you can delegate that.
SPEAKER_00It's not necessary.
SPEAKER_01It's not necessary. And, you know, again, there's always sort of these complexities around like, well, why don't you just do that? And you know, it's in my particular situation, it wasn't as easy as just, you know, there was some there were some challenges to that. And so you helped me kind of work through how to position those um and ways to to to phrase things so that the delegation. Yeah, yeah. So that delegation wasn't just, you know, okay, now you're in charge of mopping and I'm not gonna do it. So um there's there's a little bit of art to that, a little bit of science, a little bit of art, but that domain of responsibility of like, okay, these are the things that I, you know, I'm trying really hard to control uncontrollable things that are, you know, and I felt so much stress to um to own those things, and they weren't ownable.
SPEAKER_00But yeah, well, and and that was a that was a really good context for people listening. Um over a lot of years of coaching, I started noticing, especially with women, that we I I like I think of it like an octopus that we tend to have our arms in all kinds of things that we don't necessarily need to have our arms in. And so that domain of responsibility is kind of a way of separating like what are you actually responsible for? And then what are all the other things that you're doing that you feel like you need to be doing? And you can I love working in that model because you know, you can free up time and energy and a lot of emotional stress when you start to pull those arms back into what you're actually responsible for. And for me, I had my arms years ago. I had my arms in all kinds of things that I would had really good intention around doing. Like I thought I was helping by worrying about other people's problems and trying to manage their lives and helping them when they don't didn't necessarily need help. And so you can kind of pull those arms back in and then start to communicate in a different way to to really ask if someone needs help before you just step in and always help. And just little things like that.
SPEAKER_01And I think for you, those were yeah, I was trying so hard to make everybody happy that nobody was happy because I was showing up as not my full self because I couldn't, because I was trying to spread everything so thin and like, you know, please everybody. And it was making me so um, you know, I was just feeling awful because I'm like, oh, I'm failing. I've you know, I'm I'm I'm in charge of everybody's happiness all around me. Right, talk about domain of responsibility, but I felt responsible. Like I've got to make sure that everybody is happy at all times and putting myself less at that nobody was having a good experience because I was not showing up well for the people that I love the most. I mean, I was short with my kid, I was short with my husband, you know, I was just irritated because I'm like, God, like, you know, because it's when you're I think when you're trying to do an impossible task, it's you know, you don't show up well. So just that little shift of, you know, we're just gonna shift the time. We're just gonna schedule it differently. I mean, I think that that's one of the things too, is like I'm not I'm not great with, oh, here's a new workout routine and you've got to change your entire life or you've got to, you know, change these things. I think that one of the reasons I was drawn to you and the work that we did together was that it was a it was just a a shift of of thinking shift. You know, it's not like okay, you've got to do more, because I I I don't think I could have I can't take more, right? But it's just think about these things differently. And so that for me was the most meaningful because it wasn't like a radical change to the things I was doing, it was just a mind shift.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and that those are the tools that came into my life a lot of years ago and why the why behind I why do this work because I want to pay that forward, because it is it that your thinking is really the foundation to everything else that you're doing. And so if we can get in there and shift the way that you're thinking and the way that you're perceiving things, then all of a sudden this like other door opens up, and then you grab a hold of like, oh my gosh, I could do this or I could do that, or I'm not giving you that part, I'm just helping you open up that door, and then you get to see, like, oh my gosh, this would work so much better. And um, it it is just those little changes. And it's I I love that you said it's not about doing more because clearly, like, you didn't have you didn't have any capacity for more. And most of the time we don't, and the thought of doing more is exhausting. And I tried to follow that path for a long time of you know, doing more, being better, working harder, hoping that someday my life was gonna feel better and the experience of it was gonna be better. And you're right, it's it's really just about starting to think different, and then all of a sudden you're like, oh wow, then I could do this or I could do that, and things start to shuffle, you know, shift around, and all of a sudden it starts to feel and look different in your reality, and yeah, so good.
SPEAKER_01And just being careful, I think, with that domain of responsibility, you were said, you know, be very careful to not fill those spaces back up. So if you're going to delegate something off, don't be in a rush to fill that with you know something else. So just sit in the space and let it, you know, enjoy a little bit more breathing room around it.
SPEAKER_00Because that's again part of that was challenging. Yeah, go ahead. Sorry.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah. Yeah, it's exciting. But it's hard, you know, like you like what what else am I doing because it's I I'm not fulfilled yet or it's not perfect yet. So I must I must need to fill that with something else.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, well, and some of those, you know, tendencies are very deep rooted in, you know, our past where there's like a you know, a need to be over responsible, you know, and then the response if if you have the responsibility gene where you feel uh a great load of responsibility for a lot of things, then it's natural that you want to fill those back up because that's the pattern you've been in. And so what does that look like for you now? Like how do you how are you continuing to practice that? Because I imagine it's still a practice for you.
SPEAKER_01It is. Um, you know, I think that there's the um trying to be mindful of not jumping to raise my hand to volunteer to do things. Um that's that's different because there's things that I that I really enjoy doing, and but then I also complain that I'm so busy, and those two are just incongruent. So there's some things that I still am volunteering for. I mean, I I've opened up some space but then filled up some of it back up, not entirely, but it trying to have a little bit of restraint to say you just need to to pull back, at least for right now, because there's just you know, there's always a lot going on, but it doesn't you don't always have to be overflowing with to-do lists. So I'm getting I'm getting better at it. I'm a recovering over volunteerer.
SPEAKER_00This is so good. So was there any more that you wanted to share from that part of the journey?
SPEAKER_01Well, I mean, I think that that again, that last moonshot goal, and it it all sort of ties in was you know, hey, Carla, help me find my purpose in life, you know, ha ha, there's no way, right? Um I had gone through my life and again been very successful, but always sort of felt like, you know, I never almost an inadequacy that I'm not doing something huge, right? Like I'm not um, you know, like I'm not organizing a cancer walk, I'm not volunteering at a dog shelter, I'm not, you know, uh eradicating homelessness in the city and you know, all of these big things that I look around and see, you know, people that I that I know and that I respect very much, that they have these big, bright, purposeful lives. And there was a sense of that inadequacy, like, you know, I'm not I'm not called to that, or I don't have time for that, or I'm paralyzed that I like I can't, I'm not meant for some big purpose like that. And then, you know, if I'm not meant for some big purpose, well, well, what's my purpose? What's what's the reason for it all? And um there was a day and you were told me about your friend, sorry. Um and you said, you know, it doesn't have to be a giant thing. It I don't know if you want to tell about your friend and her, you know, her mantra, if you remember what you told me.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I don't remember which which story was this?
SPEAKER_01You said, well, you know, I've got a pr a friend and and her her stated purpose for her life is just to be a force for good.
SPEAKER_00And that's it. Yes, yes. Yeah, I it was actually was something I read in a book like years ago, like I want to be a force of good, and I just was so inspired by that idea, and like it became my own. Like that's my mission. I just want to be a force of good, like throughout my day and every little interaction I'm doing. So, yes, continue.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and and it was funny because that was at the tail end of our sessions. I think it might have even been one of the last ones. And because I'm thinking to myself, uh, we're not gonna get to the purpose part. And then this came into play of this just, you know, it doesn't have to be some big plan to change the world. It can just, you know, to show up and and show a kindness to somebody. Um, you know, do what you can to lighten somebody else's heavy, say hello, smile.
SPEAKER_00And you were already doing some of that, right?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. Especially through the pandemic, um, you know, uh, seeing how some people showed up was like, and they were just like rude and cruel to people at the grocery store or one another, and like especially the people that were helping with things, you know, the people that were um in that service industry. So, you know, restaurant servers, um, you know, the people at the UPS store that stand there and they have to just, you know, take crap from customers that come in in a bad mood. And I was like, gosh, that's you know, I want to show my appreciation for what they're doing. So I started um uh just handing out like I would buy a big stack of the $5 Starbucks gift cards. And so when I saw somebody's having a bad day or whatever, I would just be like, hey, I really appreciate what you're doing. And it was it made me feel so good to do that.
SPEAKER_00I adore that. I adore, I remember you telling me that. So beautiful.
SPEAKER_01Thank you. Um, but like, you know, I think it's important to show gratitude to people in a meaningful way, too. So um, you know, I'm big on the old-fashioned handwritten thank you notes. And so I just started sending them out more, especially during the pandemic, just knowing, okay, if somebody's gonna go to the mailbox, instead of a giant stack of bills, they're also gonna find some goofy little, you know, note from me with a smiley face and a sticker on it. And um that that sense of like, and it starts out a little bit candidly, it's a little bit selfish because I love it. I love writing it down, I love handing out that little, you know, a little gesture or making somebody's day. And so there's a a selfish component to it where I'm like, oh, I'm doing this because it makes me feel good. But, you know, it's funny, especially with the little notes, it's um, you know, I I we coined a phrase, it's a joy loop because I'll sit down with a pen and a and a note card and I'll write it out and I'll be smiling, and I'm smiling when I stick it in the mailbox and put the flag up. And then just, you know, I forget about it because a few days go by and then poof, out of the blue, I get a call or a text or something like, Oh my gosh, you just made my day, that card was so great. And then I feel I feel terrific all over again. So it's just this boomerang of happiness, and you know, I think learning that it was okay to have a purpose that was just to make somebody smile. Sorry. I knew this would happen.
SPEAKER_00It's good, it's so good.
SPEAKER_01But it's it was really meaningful to know that it didn't have to be, you know, some I didn't have to march on Washington, I didn't have to, you know, solve any of the world's problems, that it was a good thing for me to just be myself and make somebody else smile, and that was good enough.
SPEAKER_00Can I share about this?
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_00So shortly after this conversation, um, Samantha sent me a, I think she did it in Canva. She sent me this image, like inspiration for joy loops, and it was like a a bowl of colorful, I guess fruit fruit loops, duh. Yeah it's a bowl of fruit loops with hearts all around it. It says joy loops now free. And it says live to create joy. Enjoy a big bowl of joy loops every day, filled with all the good stuff you need in your life. Joy loops are free and may cause spontaneous smiles and endless happiness. I remember you sent that to me, and I just was like I we just we all need more of that in our life. We just all need more of that, and it's so simple and so big all at the same time.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and it doesn't need to be, you know, like the Starbucks gifts cards. I mean, obviously there's a cost to that. And you know, I'm fortunate that I was that I, you know, I'm able to hand those out every here and there to people, but it doesn't, I mean, it costs 50 cents to send somebody a note in the mail. You know, you can send a text and and that's good, or you know, call somebody. That's even that's great as well to to take the time to to do a phone call. But I just think it's so unexpected to I mean, when was the last time you opened up your mailbox and there was something in there other than junk mail or a bill?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Not very often.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and it's it's fun. I mean, I love it. And like I said, I love the the loop that it cre creates because there's like that immediate, you know, is it dopamine? What's what's the good feeling drug in your brain? Yeah, I think that's a good thing. Yeah, so you get that immediate hit and then you get it again a few days later when they open it up, and you know but I think we're it it's an easy thing to do, um, you know, and not a lot of people do it, but I it would more people should do that, you know, just express little happinesses.
SPEAKER_00So it's like when you get stuck in your head or having a bad day or in a mood, and often we, you know, kind of or I do, I I the reaction is to like kind of retreat, but the moment I make a different choice and show up for somebody else or show up on a coaching call, even though I'm like, oh my gosh, like I wish I were in a different state of mind to do this coaching call. The moment I show up and get in somebody else's world is the moment all of it shifts inside. And so I think it's just it's healthy. It's healthy to reach out.
SPEAKER_01It's so great. Yeah, it's so great. I mean, I had um so I I just had a birthday and um it was like 8 30 Tuesday night, and the doorbell rang. And I'm like, oh no, what is what's going on? Yeah, the dogs are barking. And uh two of my dearest friends TP'd my house and showed up like in cat masks with a box, you know, of like goofy presents and stuff, you know, and that's like just showing up for somebody and you know, you don't have to toilet paper somebody's house, but it's a fun idea just to show them you care.
SPEAKER_00I know it's the little things. It's the little things all over spreading goodness, making changes in our life. It really starts with just simple little steps. Okay. Yes, it does.
SPEAKER_01It does.
SPEAKER_00I think we covered everything we wanted to share. I think I talked about is there anything else that we missed that I I do. There was one more moment that you posted that golf cart. There was something about the golf cart, like you was that a someday, it was a someday thing, right? That became a today thing. Share about that. Yep.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I mean, it's like, you know, we my husband and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary, and we were kind of hemming and hawing, like, you know, do you want a nice watch? No. Do you do you want some jewelry? No, not really. And, you know, like the again, it was COVID, so we couldn't go schedule a couldn't book a vacation or anything like that. So we were talking about like what can we do that would bring us joy? What would make us happy? And we landed on the purchase of a golf cart. And it's it's been so much fun. Like, you know, we get in it, we sip around the neighborhood, the wind in our hair, and the music blaring, and you know, spreading joy warning people. It's hilarious, yeah. I mean, it's just and it's just so much fun. But that, you know, someday we should just do it. You know what I mean? Like, if you if you are able to do it, just make it happen and and capture that joy and fun when you can, because the world is heavy and you need, you know, you need something that's gonna make you smile. So, whatever it is for you, if it's you know, like book a spa day, go get your nails done, get a pedicure, you know, take a trip with a friend, like just do it, you know, just book it, do it.
SPEAKER_00I love that. It was it was such a joy to witness and watch you go through this journey. Um, because as you began to find ways to lighten your load and minimize some of the things that were feeling like obligation and adulting, is when you started to make space for all these other things that brought you more joy and brought you more fulfillment. And then I think you then you can start to approach some of the the load, the things that we have to do. You have a different perspective and energy that you can now bring to all of those things. And it just there was just such a huge ripple impact, and it was just an absolute um honor to watch you go through that because from over here I can give people tools and I can, you know, kind of open the door, but you gotta walk through, and you you so walked through that door and continue to do it in your life, and that is just such a gift for me to witness. So I want you to know that.
SPEAKER_01Well, thank you. Thank you. It's you know, it's it's been such a change, and you know, none of the things, none of the chores or tasks are you know have gone away. It's just I'm looking at them differently. So, you know, instead of I have to, it's I get to. Yeah, I'm fortunate to have a good job. So instead of like, oh, I have to be on a conference call, you know, I get to be on a conference call while a lot of other people are unemployed, or you know, maybe it's oh I've got to help my kid with her Spanish homework. No, I get to do that. You know, I get to spend time with her in a meaningful way. So it's you know, a little tweak, a little verbiage tweak.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. So let's um bring it full circle. So we've got Yes.
SPEAKER_01We do. Yeah, you go ahead. So I think if you are listening and want to make these kind of changes in your life, I would suggest again listening to Carla speak on some other topics. Um we've got her booked as the keynote speaker for our ninth annual Women Lead Here conference. Um if you use the discount code Carla R20, uh all caps, you will get 20% off of your registration. So that this conference this year is Friday, November 5th, 2021. It's virtual, so wherever you're at in the world, you can log on uh COVID-free and still get a great day of education, uh inspiration, and connection with with really meaningful and wonderful topics and speakers. So Carla, just again, thank you from the from the committee for um for uh agreeing to keynote for us this year. I can't wait to to hear your topic um and talk about uh the conference this year is all around fear. So our topic is fear is so last year. Together together we're fearless. I think that's what it is. Um but registration is open at uh azhfma.org. Find the women's leadership conference, and uh you can go online to register and use that discount code. But it's really exciting. We're we're thrilled to partner with another great charity, it's the diaper bank of Central Arizona. So we've got a really fun raffle. You can go online and there's all sorts of different prizes, there's um coaching sessions with um with some of the most incredible women uh in out there. We've got like rock climbing, there's a Mexican getaway vacation that you can win, there's purses, jewelry, uh there's all sorts of fun stuff on there. So, and it all goes to help the proceeds go to benefit the diaper bank. But just invite everybody to, if you can, uh join us for the day on on Friday the 5th at the Women Lead Here conference.
SPEAKER_00Awesome. So excited. Yeah, I encourage you to check that out. Like I said in the beginning, it was really such a great event. I not only spoke last year, but attended all day and um took away so much from the event and so excited to be a part of it again. And um, I'm gonna talk on the art of everyday skydiving and just how how we can show up and be brave, just like Samantha's talking about. It it takes courage to show up and change your life and to make even those simple little changes. It takes a lot of courage, and we're just gonna talk about ways you can do that in your everyday life. And I can't wait, it's gonna be so fun.
SPEAKER_01I can't wait, but it will be fun.
SPEAKER_00Thank you so much for hanging out today.
SPEAKER_01You're bet. Yeah, it's such a good one. Thank you for having me on.
SPEAKER_00I adore you. Your energy is so much fun, and I loved our work together and uh to be continued.
SPEAKER_01I like it. I love it. Thanks, Carla.
SPEAKER_00I love it. Go make joy loops. Thank you for tuning in to this episode of Differently. I hope it stirred your thinking, and I invite you to take one inspired action from something that stood out to you. If you want to hear more conversations like this, hit subscribe on your favorite podcast app, and please help us spread the word by sharing this podcast with people you know. Remember, new episodes drop weekly. See you next week.