The Bliss Monster Doesn't Exist

Today, in this short episode, I share a deeply personal tale that transformed my outlook on marriage and love. - a moment that became a turning point for us. I discovered the power of creating a marriage, an active, ongoing journey of falling in love repeatedly, rather than a one-time event.

This revelation didn't just reshape my marriage; it sparked a quest proving that love's reinvention isn't confined to romantic relationships, and can be applied to all areas of your life.

Enjoy!

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Transcript

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Speaker 1 0:01

I'm Carla Reeves , and this is Differently . Whether you feel stuck in survival , navigating a change , or seeking more for your life , may this podcast be your weekly nudge to take a risk , to build a life that is uniquely bold , authentic and in alignment with your deepest values . After a decade of coaching individuals , from corporate leaders to creative artists to multi-million dollar CEOs I'm convinced we are far closer than we realize to what we deeply desire , and it's a willingness to do differently that can change everything . As Valentine's Day approaches , I'm reminded , after talking to a dear friend , of the pressure that this holiday can bring and the reason why , years ago , we stopped acknowledging it in our own marriage and opted in to show and express our love every day , as opposed to one day of the year . Don't worry if you love Valentine's Day . If it brings you joy , go with it , but if it creates tension , pressure and stress , know that you can opt out too . In the spirit of love , though , I want to share a story today that changed the course of our marriage and , ultimately , our life .

Speaker 1 1:18

I'm standing in a big room waiting for the event dinner to begin , arm in arm , with my soon to be husband Clutching his arm tightly , huge smile on my face , glancing adorably at him in between conversations , in my own little bubble of newly engaged bliss . As I look around , I notice that other couples around us are all looking at us and they aren't actually doing what we're doing . They're standing next to each other , but more like roommates than couples . Then one of the wives breaks the ice and says oh , look how cute they are . Followed by oh , just wait , just wait till you've been married a year , and everyone laughed . I suddenly felt self-conscious and nervously shifted the conversation to something else . Side note this wasn't the first time this happened . It had actually happened multiple times over the course of several months .

Speaker 1 2:13

I was laying in bed later that night trying to get to sleep . My mind was spinning . Should I get out now ? Maybe I'm not equipped to have a long-standing happy relationship . After all , I'd already failed once , and there was plenty of evidence , if I looked around , that everything they were projecting would likely happen to us too . I knew plenty of couples that started out so happy and later were living separate lives . I felt powerless .

Speaker 1 2:40

Then a different thought emerged , followed by a train of new thoughts . I can't remember if it happened that night or later in my journal . What if the Blist Monster didn't exist . What if it was up to us to keep the magic and love alive in our relationship ? And what if we could do something different ? A wait began to lift . I felt inspired again , excited that there was something possible . I knew there was something to this and I wanted to follow these new thoughts Time and time again . I would have to be diligent to pivot my thinking , but as I did , the new thoughts got stronger and stronger . This would be my mission to create something different . It was as if I had just uncovered a long lost secret .

Speaker 1 3:34

While I once subscribed to the Marriage Fairy tale that I'd fall in love and ride off happily into the sunset , I had discovered a new option . I now subscribe to the idea of a created marriage where you fall in love and do everything you can to ensure that you're cultivating a space where you can fall in love again and again . Little did I know that this moment would change the course of my marriage and my life , and whether or not you're married or in relationship is irrelevant . This story became a catalyst for creating more meaning , purpose , direction and fulfillment in all areas of my life . I'd be remiss to say that God hasn't played an enormous part in our marriage journey , healing places we could never heal , showing us love bigger than we ever imagined , and keeping our connection strong when humanness and living in this world wants to get in the way .

Speaker 1 4:33

I want to leave you with a quote by Rumi your task is not to seek for love , but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it , from my heart to yours . Set down the barriers as often as you need to and go . Generate love in your life today and every day , and come back next week because I want to share that blueprint with you . I will actually walk you through the questions so you can listen and do some writing on your own . It'll be sort of a mini workshop . I look forward to that . See you next week . Hey , thanks for tuning into this episode of differently . I hope it stirred your thinking and I invite you to take one inspired action from something that stood out to you . If you want to hear more conversations like this , be sure to hit follow on your favorite podcast app , and if this episode could impact someone you know , please help us spread the word and pass it along . Remember new episodes drop weekly . See you next week .