Mindset Camp: How to Say NO Politely, with Love and Boundaries

This summer we are doing a series called Mindset Camp. It will be made up of mostly simple, thought-provoking episodes to give you something short + sweet to take action on right away!

Today is Episode 5 of that series.

Do you catch yourself saying yes…when you’d really rather say no?

Does saying no make you feel icky or selfish? 

If this feels familiar, this episode is for you.

In this short episode, part of our summer series, Mindset Camp, you’ll learn how to say no politely, with love, and in a way that respects your boundaries and is respectful to everyone.

In this bite-sized episode, you’ll discover:

• A new mindset view about the word NO
• The biggest benefit to honoring the word NO that you may not have thought of
• A journaling prompt that will help you discover the areas in your life where saying NO is can be used to honor BOTH parties

Learning to say no politely, with loving energy, is an essential life skill that helps you stay aligned with your commitments and values.

Give this episode a listen and end the resentment of saying yes when you really want to say no. Gain the freedom and lose the guilt as you learn to say no politely, with love.

Enjoy!

Learn more about Carla:  https:/www.carlareeves.com/

Connect on LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/reevescarla/
Connect on Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/carlasreevesaz/

Explore Coaching with Carla:  https://bookme.name/carlareeves/lite/explore-coaching

• If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to share it with a friend. 
• A free way to support our show is by leaving a five-star rating and review on your favorite podcast player. It’s a chance to tell us what you love about the show and it helps others discover it, too. 

Thank you for listening!

Learn more about Carla:
Website: https:/www.carlareeves.com/
Connect on LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/reevescarla/
Connect on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@differentlythepodcast

Go to https://www.carlareeves.com/getunstuck.com to download Carla's on demand journaling workshop + exercise to help you stop spinning and start moving forward.

Explore Coaching with Carla: https://bookme.name/carlareeves/lite/explore-coaching

• If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to share it with a friend.
• A free way to support our show is by leaving a five-star rating and review on your favorite podcast player. It’s a chance to tell us what you love about the show and it helps others discover it, too.

Thank you for listening!

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

I'm Carla Reeves, and this is Differently. Whether you feel stuck in survival, navigating a change or seeking more for your life, may this podcast be your weekly nudge to take a risk to build a life that is uniquely bold, authentic and in alignment with your deepest values. What if you worried less about the bumps in the road and instead got equipped for the journey? Get ready to rethink what's possible. Summer is here and in the spirit of summer, here on the podcast surprise, we're doing something a little different. This summer series, let's call it Mindset Camp, will be made up of mostly simple, short, thought-provoking episodes to give you something short and sweet. Whether you are on summer vacation, in between work meetings or on your bike headed to the beach, you can fit it in and apply it right to your life, wherever you are, to shift your perspective, experience and maybe even your results. We will talk mindset, productivity, relationships and more.

Speaker 1: 1:04

I don't know about you, but summer's past stir great memories. Do you remember when you were in grade school and summer felt like forever? Well, I don't know about you, but that is not the case anymore, and it's ever important to guard our time and ensure we're filling it with the things that make up the life we want to be living. Just recently not to be a downer, but I've recently had some experiences that remind me life is so precious and can be short Somewhere along the way in this life, it seems we adopt a belief that we can't say no or we will hurt, disappoint or let others down. This has taught us to manage the thoughts, perceptions and feelings of others, which my clients know is outside of our domain of responsibility and leads to resentment, doing things out of obligation and all kinds of frustration that can all be eliminated. That's what today's episode is designed to help you think differently about this short, little two letter word and how you can use it more intentionally and in a way that honors everyone.

Speaker 1: 2:14

Say no with love. If you want to say yes to building a life that you're truly here to live, learning how to say no is vital. Do you catch yourself saying yes when you really mean no? Do you do so with justifications that sound like I felt pressured, it's the right thing to do, I love giving, I don't know how to say no, and on and on. Of course, there are always instances where saying yes is the right thing for you to do and me to do and a choice that you make. But, for the sake of this episode, we aren't talking about those times. This has nothing to do with being generous and charitable with our time and talent, because that does make a difference, and nothing feels better than truly being available and of service to another human being.

Speaker 1: 3:05

This is about altering patterns that leave you depleted, empty and wondering why people don't ever stop asking for your time, while your own priorities, purpose and greatest joys are stuffed aside and moved to the bottom of the list. This is where learning to say no is vital. What if learning to say no doesn't mean you're selfish, uncaring or unwilling? What if saying no is really an act of respect for yourself and others and a choice to live with integrity and commitment to what you have declared is important? That feels different, doesn't it? The real shift comes when you learn to use the word no in a way that is authentic and aligned with your truth and your values. This opens the door to saying yes when you mean yes and saying no when you mean no, and I want you to know that it's possible to say no with love. Honoring no in your life makes room for bigger and grander yeses. We're all about using writing as a tool to navigate your life. As you know, if you've been listening for a while, and when you're in a place to do so, take out a sheet of paper or open up a Google doc and ask this question where am I saying yes in my life when I really mean no, and where can I lead with love to communicate what is true for me?

Speaker 1: 4:38

I have a belief that when we honor our highest calling, that we honor others too, and I have so many examples of that, but one that comes to mind is remembering a client years ago who would felt obligated to something that you know. When she signed up for it, she was inspired about it, it was exciting, but it has had reached an expiration date and she felt obligated to keep doing it. But she wasn't feeling inspired, didn't ever want to show up to the meetings and she felt obligated to keep doing it, but she wasn't feeling inspired, didn't ever want to show up to the meetings, and we talked about letting it go, that it had reached an expiration date and that you can have that conversation to complete that obligation in a way that honors everybody and that, when you do, you make space for that organization or company to allow somebody else to come in who's newly inspired and excited to be there. It honors everybody. So where in your life are you saying yes when you really mean no?

Speaker 1: 5:39

Side note what is it about the human mind and the writing process? I could cite a bunch of studies that show that there's a direct correlation between journaling and feeling better, but I'll do something better. I came across this quote from Joan Didion that perfectly captures all that scientific jargon Quote I write entirely to find out what I'm thinking, what I'm looking at, what I see and what it means, what I want. Thinking what I'm looking at, what I see and what it means, what I want and what I fear. Throw in a guide that responds inside your journal, helping you sort everything out in real time. Two words life-changing, curious. Stay tuned, we've got something in the works for you.

Speaker 1: 6:24

Thank you for tuning in to this episode of Differently. It's been an honor to share this conversation with you. You know one of the keys to living fully is to take action when you're inspired to do so. I hope you found that spark of inspiration today and would you help us spread the word. Did someone you know come to mind while you were listening. If this episode could impact someone you know, please share it and pass it along. New episodes drop weekly, so tap that subscribe button and join us next time as we continue to challenge the status quo and get equipped to live life differently.