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A New Way To Be with Monica Bodurka

• Carla Reeves | Creator of The Differently Coaching Experience

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Podcast Description:
Welcome back to Differently! In this episode, Carla Reeves sits down with Monica Bodurka, certified health coach, yoga therapist, and founder of the Leadership Wellness Group. Monica shares insights from her new book, A New Way to Be, which explores vibrant well-being through presence, authenticity, and small, mindful habits.

Together, they dive into the art of redefining success, managing energy over time, and building resilience in a chaotic world. Monica introduces practical tools and micro-practices that can help you generate energy, navigate life’s challenges, and rediscover joy.

What You’ll Learn:

  • Why resilience isn’t just about bouncing back but being centered in the storm.
  • The role of micro-practices in generating energy and improving focus.
  • The importance of redefining success and aligning it with personal values.
  • Simple, actionable habits for managing energy and creating sustainable change.

Key Highlights:

  • [0:01] Carla introduces the episode and the importance of redefining success.
  • [1:23] Meet Monica Bodurka and her inspiration behind A New Way to Be.
  • [6:55] The modern reframe of resilience: building shock absorbers for life.
  • [19:08] Simple ways to generate energy in your daily routine.
  • [30:32] Overcoming resistance to change and prioritizing what matters most.
  • [34:30] Monica’s vision of serene, unwavering resilience.

Resources Mentioned:

Sign Up for FREE CLASS:  https://carlareeves.com/freeclass

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Website: https:/www.carlareeves.com/
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Thank you for listening!

Carla Reeves:

I'm Carla Reeves, and this is Differently. Whether you feel stuck in survival, navigating a change, or seeking more for your life, may this podcast be your weekly nudge to take a risk to build a life that is uniquely bold, authentic and in alignment with your deepest values. What if you worried less about the bumps in the road and instead got equipped for the journey? Get ready to rethink what's possible. Welcome back, I'm so glad you're here. The conversation I want to share with you today is about redefining success, not just in your business, but in your life. If you've been chasing goals, ticking off milestones and feeling like the more you achieve, the less fulfilled you seem to be, you are not alone. This is a beautiful indicator that it might be time to redefine what success means to you now. So today we're going to explore together how to sustain momentum while also growing joy and well-being in our life. How to sustain momentum while also growing joy and well-being in our life. Contrary to what our minds want us to believe, the list of achievements doesn't end with at last having the ability to be joyful and well. We must do the hard work of learning to allow and build this along the way.

Carla Reeves:

My conversation today is with Monica

Monica Bodurka:

Bodurka

Carla Reeves:

. She's a certified health coach, a yoga therapist and founder of the Leadership Wellness Group. She's also the author of a new book called A New Way to Be, which is about vibrant well-being and how it can be achieved through presence, authenticity and small, mindful choices. Remember, the key to you unlocking the next level of success, contrary to what everything around us says, lies not in doing more, but in being more. Get ready for some practical tools to building more quality right into your life. Starting today, I invite you to take a big, deep breath, let this conversation rain on you and inspire a new idea of success. One breath, one habit and one moment at a time. Welcome back to Differently. Today I have the founder of the Leadership Wellness Group. She's a certified health coach and yoga therapist, monica Bodurka. Am I saying that? Right, bodurka, but you can be creative with it. Monica Bodurka, am I saying that? Right, borduca, but you can be creative with it. Borduca, welcome to the show.

Monica Bodurka:

So excited to have you.

Carla Reeves:

I'm so excited to be here and have this conversation Likewise. So you have a fairly new book called A New Way to Be Becoming Resilient One Breath, habit and Moment at a Time, which I just absolutely love because I'm such a believer in just the small steps, the small choices that we make every single day ripple to those larger changes and also builds like sustainable way of living, right. So I love this. We talk the same language, so tell us a little bit about that book and what inspired you to write that book. Why you, why that book?

Monica Bodurka:

Oh, my goodness, wow, okay, do you know what I think? It's like a child I was saying earlier. You know, I kind of birthed this baby, like I think most authors feel, and I had been teaching programs on resilience and and often people would say you should write a book. This is amazing. And it wasn't until COVID that, you know, people actually started saying it. And I had I met a publisher and it just kind of went from there. And because I already had a program, I was like, okay, there's a framework and and it just kind of went from there. And because I already had a program, I was like, okay, there's a framework and and it was I. You know, these things call you. So it called me and and I answered it wasn't easy, but but yeah, well, and we talked about you.

Carla Reeves:

work with a lot of people who are overwhelmed and burned out and tired and juggling all the things. Um, was that you at one point that led you to yoga and wellness, or was there a pivotal moment in your life that had you seeking these things in your life before you started teaching them?

Monica Bodurka:

Oh yeah, I always say we teach what we need to learn. So I was, you know um. I always say um, uh, you know um. I always say I'm a you know, I'm healing from the hustle, I'm healing from people pleasing, I'm healing from perfectionism, I'm healing from these things. Right, I'm like trying to well, not trying. I am rewiring my neural pathways to become a new person. That's why I, you know, I named my book a new way to be, because it is a new way to be.

Monica Bodurka:

And so yeah, I was. I did all of it. I, you know, I sort of didn't listen to myself and I pushed through everything and definitely felt overwhelmed and on the verge of burnout, especially when my two daughters and when they were little and I had a big job and I love the. Actually it was an amazing job and I worked with amazing people, but it was a lot and I wanted to do it perfectly. But then I wanted to show up as a mom perfectly and I wanted to be a perfect wife and of course, there's my parents and extended family and friends. Well, you know, something has to give. So I remember at the time feeling like, you know, like I actually remember I have one memory of coming home from work and, um, I live in Toronto and so you know fairly big city. It was taking the subway home and I had to get off the subway and sit on the, you know, on the curb. I had no energy. I was like what's my? I? Just, I was so fatigued, I was so exhausted and I was like this is ridiculous, like what, like this can't keep going.

Monica Bodurka:

And, yeah, so, and I was also working. I was working at the University of Toronto heading up these executive leadership programs. So I was talking to C-suites from across the country and the US and you know we're learning about, we're doing all this focus testing what are the leadership capabilities leaders need in the 21st century? And resilience kept coming up, as you know, number one and you know, at the time nobody really knew how to teach it, nobody really knew what it meant. But I started digging into it and health and well-being and being true to yourself and having energy and learning that you actually generate energy, that you don't have energy, all that stuff. I was like, oh, according to your values and understanding your priorities, I was like, wait, a second Control I'll delete. Yeah.

Carla Reeves:

Wow, that's beautiful. So tell us a little bit, because I know that you, your approach to resilience or your philosophy or the way that you look at it, is kind of a reframe or redefine, and I'd love for you to initially like let's talk about that, what is? What does that look like from your perspective?

Monica Bodurka:

Sure, so that's a that's a great place to start. So again, in my book and in my courses, you know we reframe resilience. And it's not to say that the Webster Dictionary is wrong, right, the Webster Dictionary says that, you know, resilience is about flexibility and bouncing back to a certain perspective. And that's what we learn and that's the popular understanding of resilience. And you know, in sort of the natural sciences, a metal is considered resilient if you can bend it and it will come back to shape. Right, and I apologize because my dog is barking and I hope you can, okay.

Carla Reeves:

We like to keep it real, so that's kind of the Webster dictionary.

Monica Bodurka:

However, when you look at the world today and how volatile and chaotic and disruptive it is right Like there's constant disruption. Volatile and chaotic and disruptive, it is right Like there's constant disruption. Now we have AI. You know, I felt like two weeks ago we had COVID.

Carla Reeves:

You've got the election going like there's wars, like there's so much chaos, volatility, uncertainty. You know the, the, the and we're aware of it all in a level that we well, that's it right.

Monica Bodurka:

Like we're, you know, we're, we're the information is like we can't even process it all. So, in that kind of world, what are you going to bounce back to? Like there's nothing to bounce back to? What are you there, right? So when you have one adversity, something happens. Yes, how long? How long does it take you to come back to feeling like yourself? That's one thing, but in that world of constant chaos, bouncing back isn't really what it's about. It's really about being centered in the storm, right?

Monica Bodurka:

I akin it to having shock absorbers in the car. So the bumps in the road are there, and often we don't foresee the bumps, right? But the ride is a little bit more easy, it's a little bit more smooth, it's a little bit more graceful Because, again, we've built these shock absorbers, right? Another really good analogy is like having a charged battery. So really simple analogy, right?

Monica Bodurka:

Especially when we relate to with our phones. We charge our phone, let's say, every night. If you don't charge that phone and it doesn't die right away, you know those apps start working not as well. Things are less efficient, it's dimmed, so that that's what happens to us, right? We become less efficient, we can't perform at our kind of optimal level. So what that tells us is we have to engage in practices that help cultivate those shock absorbers and charge our battery Right. And that's, that's not um. It doesn't come naturally in a world where we've been taught to not listen to ourselves, in a world where, you know, success is often um, associated with a lack of boundaries, and even the word business is busyness. So so, yeah, so we have to unlearn it, and I think I shared with you earlier a foundation, or a big aha for me was the American Psychological Association indicates you know, this is evidence-based research that resilient individuals have habits, behaviors.

Monica Bodurka:

They have thoughts, they have thoughts and actions that make them resilient. They have thoughts, they have thoughts and actions that make them resilient Right. So suddenly we have an understanding. This isn't just an innate quality or an innate trait that some fortunate few have and others don't know. It's actually. It's actually, you know, something we can build through intention and through repeated micro practices. You know, start to feel better, right?

Carla Reeves:

A lot of this is actually about about feeling good, yeah, yeah, well, oh my gosh. There's so many places I could go. But I want to talk about resilience for a second because, as you were talking, it reminded me before COVID. I remember like we my husband and I were standing in the living room and some guy was on the TV talking about the most important thing that we could be preparing our children with is resilience. This was before COVID and and I don't know why that stuck with me, but it's I mean, it's kind of part of what we live and teach in our home and also in my work. But I have thought about that so many times since then. How true that was and that you're right, it's a different approach than just that bouncing back, but it's this thing that you can lean on every single day. Bouncing back, but it's this, this thing that you can lean on every single day.

Carla Reeves:

And, similar to your story, my story led me to. You know, I was so externally focused, like if I could just manage all these things and these people would behave differently or this would change, then I would feel better and that was exhausting. That never worked and I went. You know 25 years ago, that never worked, and I went, you know 25 years ago, decided like oh, you mean there's like I could pay attention to things inside and that would make everything out here more easy to manage and navigate. And I think that's what you're talking about and that is the core of what I teach to Monica and I it's you don't have. You know, I think we were talking before we hit record, that all these pressures and things that we're trying to manage and juggle, but if we turn our approach inside instead of outside and we do these few things, it has an impact on all those other things, and I think that's what you're teaching too, and so this resonates so incredibly well.

Monica Bodurka:

Yeah, it's, it's really unlearning what we've been taught collectively, right? I often think I look at my children. I have two daughters. They're 13 and 15. And I, I, I just I see, even in school, right, you are taught to do the homework and you have to be a good girl and you have to submit and you have to do the homework Even if you're tired. You got to get a good grade and you have to be nice and you have to do this and it's, I don't know.

Monica Bodurka:

There's a, there's a I'm not saying there's a programming and so you continue and then you go on to college or university and you get married and you do all these things and you don't. There's. There's a lot, like I was saying to one of my daughters yesterday well, what do you want, right, Like. What do you like what you know? So it's, and we've lost that Um and, and then sometimes you know, people say, okay, they're having a midlife crisis. They wake up and they're like, oh my God, right, and. And then they're burned out, right? So if we could start that a little earlier. But I want to say something there's a lot of really neat research on resilient kids and and this actually relates directly to to my book and my program as well, because what a lot of people don't realize when we talk about the habits, behaviors, thoughts and actions of resilient individuals, the first ones, in a way, or the foundational ones, are physical. They're not even we don't even touch the mindset yet, right, physical. So, uh, sean archer, who's got, um, actually, an amazing ted talk which makes me laugh, and he, he actually is like a positive, uh, psychologist, but one of the things he's written about and there's a harvard business Review article about this that a well rested child is a resilient child, it's all about sleep, right? So it's very interesting when we start with people, often we start with sleep, and it's interesting.

Monica Bodurka:

I often tell the story of this woman I worked with who was, you know, kind of in her perimenopause, menopause years, but she was an executive director of a very large organization, very big job, and she said to me, you know, I'm on the verge of burnout, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But she also shared that because of menopause, she hadn't slept in five years. She said, which I thought was a little exaggerated, right, in five years. She said, which I know is a little exaggerated, right, but anyways, but what happened is we actually didn't take on everything else. We actually put a pin in all those problems she wanted to sort of tackle and I said, well, let's tackle this, and it turned out she was staying up at night till around 1130 on average on her work emails in bed.

Monica Bodurka:

So there's a couple of things happening there. Right, getting blue light at night in her eyes, she is stimulating her cortisol and adrenaline because it turns out those emails they weren't warm and fuzzy emails, she was usually, you know, putting out some kind of fire. On top of that, her dear husband of 20 years was lying beside her in bed watching the news. Well, we know the news is not really, you know, some optimistic, positive kind of reinforcement. So there they are being blasted with blue light, blasted with negativity, stimulating their adrenals and their cortisol levels. Then they shut off those lights and they try to fall asleep.

Monica Bodurka:

Expect to go to sleep, so of course we had slept for five years and I said, okay, well, let's play, because, remember, play is a part of all this, because we've forgotten to play. So I said, let's play. And I said, well, let's you know. And we negotiated and again, she's the client, right, so I'm meeting her where she's at. So what did she want to do? But we did negotiate that she would put all this stuff away, not work on emails, not bring her phone into the bedroom at all. She negotiated with her husband that he was not going to watch the news and just have a book. She picked up a magazine. Oh, and we, we, I literally negotiate with her like I do with my children. So like I was saying, okay, what my children? So like I was saying, okay, what if we put your phone away at like 8 30, and she was like to our devices and anyways, ultimately we landed on 9 30. She picked up magazines. She thought she was going to have like a luxurious bath.

Monica Bodurka:

The woman was exhausted and fell asleep and slept and she texted me the next morning which was our, our agreement and she said, monica, I slept through the night for the first time in what feels like five years and I said, well, let's do it again. Because then what we found out is she actually felt she had energy, so now she's generating energy. Like I said, we're power plants. We don't have energy. We generate energy through our habits, right? So it's not like often again say I don't have time. Well, it's, we have a finite amount of time, but we don't have a finite amount of energy. We can generate energy. And this was again. This was a way to generate energy for this lady.

Monica Bodurka:

Because then what we do is we have to create a new neural pathway. So we repeated that. We repeated it and guess what? What's really important for people to understand? Change is really hard for us, right? Those pathways are wired in our brain, so it feels uncomfortable on our brains, like, no, this is danger, danger. We're not going to do this, right? This is why everybody gives up their gym memberships two weeks into January. So what we had to do is we had to make it small, right? So it's a small thing.

Monica Bodurka:

She was putting away that phone and because she texted me the next day, she got a dopamine hit. I was involved. So she's telling me and her husband we're all celebrating this, and she's also, she was training her brain that she could do what she set out to do. So that was really important, right. What we're talking about here is the neuroscience of sustainable behavior change 're becoming people happier, healthier, stronger people, and then when we're that we are able to be more centered in the storm, right, so that's what I was able to put out fires, I was able to, you know, enjoy the day more. You know she was able to show up more as her best authentic self. Um, I can go on, but also I don't even remember what the question is.

Carla Reeves:

I don't either, but that's okay, it was really good. So how I love this idea of managing energy, right, Like I remember years ago, that was like blew my mind when I heard it. Like you could manage your energy instead of your time, and the more and more we tap into that, even my husband and I kind of practice that you really can generate energy in your life and in your marriage and in your business. And so I would love for you to speak to what? If somebody has never heard of this idea, or they're maybe they're new to it what are some simple ways that we can generate energy in our day?

Monica Bodurka:

Oh, I love it. So obviously we just talked about the sleep and so that's really important, Intentionally taking on sleep, so that's huge Right. And and I start there because after sleep you immediately feel like if you've had a good night's sleep, you feel it right. So that's a, that's a big one.

Monica Bodurka:

The other one is taking breaks and resetting our nervous system, right. So we have, just like we have a circadian rhythm right, our sleep wake cycle, we have an ultra D and rhythm. So basically our, we, basically our energy goes up and then down, up and down and it cycles through, kind of. It's different. We're all bio-individuals, so for each person it's between 90 and 120 minutes where we have this kind of up and down. So what that means is, if you kind of are at that point where you're cycling down, you should be taking a break, and the break doesn't have to be a long time, right what it like. For example, again to the study I read there was a study of 100, it was like 474 CEOs and they found that on average and these were like high performers and they were taking a break on average every 52 to, I think, 70 minutes and that break it didn't matter how long it was, because they they asked them, but the breaks and the breaks were, on average, between 4 and 17 minutes. So it didn't matter how long the break was. What did matter was the nature of the break. So you actually had to completely separate yourself from work for that little time period, right. So you step away from the desk you get some water. I actually will go, because I love yoga. I will do, let's say, a series of sun salutations Step outside, get some sunlight, ground your feet on the grass if you can like, do something completely different, right? And I also teach something called a 60 second pause, which is one of the problems we have right now, when we're sitting on computers all day, is this is what we're doing, right, we look like, we look like monsters actually, right? So it's like what and what that does, what that, what that sort of form. When our body takes that form, we are signaling our nervous system and what we're doing is we're signaling that we're, we're depressed and not, we have to be safe. Right, we're, we're almost closing off, we're closing off our diaphragm, which means we can't take a deep breath, and we're signaling again that we're not safe. So what you can do at that minute mark or at that 16 minute mark and I call this, I tried to call this, try to make it really simple for my clients, so I called it ABC.

Monica Bodurka:

So again I said, hey, align that spine right. So I've gone from this, so now I'm aligning that spine, I lengthen that spine. The spine is like a super highway. So it basically is this communication between all your nerves, from your whole body through the brainstem, into your brain, into your prefrontal cortex. So when your spine is aligned, you actually can tap into your prefrontal cortex more, which is fabulous if you want to be good at rational thinking and creativity.

Monica Bodurka:

So anyways, a, align your spine, so pull your shoulders back, maybe tap your chin a little bit, lengthen the area between your ears and your shoulders right, and then B, take a deep breath, breath right. So now you've opened up your diaphragm, right, so now you can breathe into that upper abdomen. So you breathe in and you breathe out. You want to breathe in through your nose because, again, we're signaling. When we're breathing in through the mouth, we're telling our nervous system we're actually running and we're in danger. So, trying to breathe in through our nose and breathing out through our nose, or you can breathe out through like pursed lips, right, it's again to lengthen.

Monica Bodurka:

You want to lengthen that exhale, and when you, you lengthen the exhale, so when you have a slightly longer exhale than inhale, you are signaling and sort of tapping into that parasympathetic nervous system. Now I'm talking a lot, but this actually takes very little bit of time, because what you're doing is fine, right, tuck your chin a little bit, lengthen the spine, take a deep inhale into your upper abdomen, right, and then C is calm. Or even you tell yourself to calm, we instruct ourselves. Or if you're a little bit more open, c can be chant, and what I mean by that is, when you make sound, you're not only on the exhale, you're not only extending that exhale, but you're also kind of stimulating your vagus nerve, which again tends to that parasympathetic system. So again, if somebody wants to do this again, align the spine, inhale, ah.

Carla Reeves:

I love that so simple.

Monica Bodurka:

So imagine if you do this every hour step away from the desk, do it, you know. And again, you don't have to make sound, nobody even needs to know you're doing this, but doing this every hour. I use the Pomodoro technique to remind me. I set a timer. Every 50 minutes it goes off and again, and I'll do this and it feels great and it it helps to prevent that dip in energy. You know, know, when people reach for the cookie and the coffee, this, yes, it helps to prevent it. And oxygen, oxygen, right. So again, if you're falling like you feel like, oh, get some oxygen, do 10 jumping jacks like take a five minute walk.

Monica Bodurka:

Yes, there's so many things you know, it's energizing, right, like all of that, and it doesn't have to take a long time. That's why I say these are micro practices. People say to me I have no time. I have no time. I'm like that doesn't just one minute. One minute, yeah, it's more about time for it. Put up stickies I, that's all I do. I put up stickies to remind myself and until it becomes a habit ingrained in our brain, right.

Carla Reeves:

So yeah, I hope you, listening, are writing this down. This works. I, for many, many years I was crouched over at my desk, stomach clenched, like my stomach would really hurt at the end of the day, Like and I didn't understand why, cause I was holding my breath a lot, just so intensely focused. And I've really been diligent about just changing my posture in which I work, like to be in a relaxed posture, and it's been amazing what it changes. And, like you said, these simple breaks like I have weights in my office and I'll just turn on a song and I'll just dance and do weights for five minutes and like those micro breaks are so key to um. You know, yes, you have to stop for five minutes, but I would argue that it gives you more energy and you're more effective after.

Monica Bodurka:

And and do you know what? It's not just you saying this, it's Harvard. Harvard's doing amazing work in the area of what they've called work recovery. Lots of great articles, lots of great research that shows that you know productivity about your work, right, when you know you hear about people going to the gym and they go to the gym with a colleague and they talk about work. Guess what? That doesn't count because your mind is still. It's not recovering, right. So you really want that break and yeah, so they're doing great work and it's real. And they're also showing. When people don't take breaks, what happens is the work quality goes down and the incidence of accidents really skyrockets.

Carla Reeves:

So that totally makes sense. Well, and I just want to highlight you saying like that you can't be thinking about work, because I think that is so key that it's like it's a surrender, it's surrendering your mind, and for me, it's been like my addiction to like keep thinking about my work and it has been in that surrender. It can be like five minutes, but that surrender is what allows the restoration and the energy to go back up. I totally have experienced that, absolutely. Yeah, it's awesome to hear you say that.

Monica Bodurka:

Right, it really really is's really really small, and that's why I call it a micro practice, Right and and and, and. There's other things you can do that are also really micro, and people love this.

Carla Reeves:

Well, yes, please teach us a few more like um noticing where you spend time.

Monica Bodurka:

So, for example, I I I'm a tea, tea drinker, so I have to boil my kettle. Well, guess what? That's a good 60 to 90 seconds where I could do breath work right, and I do right. So it's kind of silly. And so, again, align my spine and then I will do some active breathing, which you know, so again I can take mindful breaths when I'm waiting for the shower to turn on. Oh my God, there's another great time where I can again engage in breathing exercises. So noticing, you know, in the car, don't talk to a colleague if you're coming home from work, put on something else Sing, sing. Why? Right, because again you're stimulating the vagus nerve and it's releasing all these feel-good hormones.

Carla Reeves:

Right, there's all these really fun small things you can do. It's all about resetting your nervous system, like the in-between moments, yeah, and there's so many in the day that we can lean into without feeling like we have to give up something else or we need all this ample time.

Monica Bodurka:

You don't well, that's what people say I don't have time. I don't have time and even little things of like you're walking into a meeting or you're coming home from work, so you're that transitioning from work to home and maybe you have kids, and all this, holding that day that can't. Um, handle, door handle and taking a deep breath. Right, there's a mindfulness there, there's's an intention out. So deep breathing, holding that handle and kind of remembering who you want to be, leaving work behind and now stepping into your new role. Right, just that again, is that 10 seconds? It's not, but we have to train ourselves to do this and it really does have an impact.

Monica Bodurka:

And then what ends up happening is people start kind of waking up. Right, we're often asleep, we're just running, running, running. So we don't, we we're almost not making good decisions for us. Sometimes we're saying yes to things we should be saying no to, because we're we're not, we're not too in tune with ourselves when we start doing these practices. What ends up happening is your intuition starts to come online. Your self-awareness really augments. You're like wait a second, like so, so it's really, it goes beyond just having more energy.

Carla Reeves:

Um, that's so beautiful. I have two questions based on what you just said. One is so if it really is true that we have all these micro in-between moments where we can harness this time and energy to do these things, then that leaves us with not really an excuse right Of, like the old excuses of time. And so if someone is still feeling resistance to these things, where do you like to work with someone in that situation?

Monica Bodurka:

It's really. It's interesting because, again, everybody's individual right, so it depends again, everybody's individual right, so it depends people have resistance to different things. Um, so it's really about what their vision is for themselves and who they want to be. Um, often resistance is fear, right, so it's. It's it's fear of the unknown, or fear of if I let go, um, you know, everything's going to fall apart. Everything's going to fall apart, right, and it's like, and I always say, well, fear is like false evidence appearing real, and it's in this moment we're safe. That's why mindfulness is such a good place to start as well, because it's like in this moment, hey, I'm fine, right, so I can take that breath. Or if somebody doesn't even want to take breath, they can just notice the sound around them. Um, so, again, it's, it's very different. Um, you know, based on on the people or or even teams I'm working with, um, so you know, I usually start with like little assessments of you know, and you kind of figure out what people want to share.

Monica Bodurka:

But, yeah, well, the other place actually is overwhelmed. So if there's resistance it's because people are overwhelmed. So I have a program called the Certified Resilience Coach Program. It's now going into the 16th offering starts tomorrow. It's actually accredited by the International Coach Federation, and so what we do in this program is, before we even get into resilience, enhancing habits and thinking about how we can help our clients and our, our teams do that. We actually deal with overwhelm, because when people are overwhelmed, you know they can't think straight, and so so that's actually where we start with resistance, and how do we deal with overwhelm is really, um, through creating priorities, right to to know. You know it's back to stephen covey's first things first. What are you know? I don't know if you ever saw in the 80s or 90s. He's got this great video of the jar, the three jars right, yeah it's hilarious because the the woman she's got the big like.

Monica Bodurka:

But the point is is, for anybody who doesn't know that the jar he has this woman, stephen Covey has this woman all add all these rocks, the jar, and of course she can't fit them all in. And then he says, well, take the three big rocks first. So what's the three big rocks in the jar? And then she's able to put in all the little rocks around it. So, with overwhelm, right, you first you have to identify what your priorities are and then you focus on those, and what that allows you to do is say no to the others, right?

Monica Bodurka:

I often tell clients that you have to start with the what not to do list. You have to start with the what not to do list. That's a people pleaser, that's all. I couldn't say no, but then that meant I was saying I was putting myself always last, and hence you know why I got burnt out, right and so so, yeah, coming back to those priorities, if somebody is resisting, coming back to creating boundaries, what not to do.

Monica Bodurka:

Coming back to creating boundaries, what not to do, and and just you know it's, it's not that you're not going to do those things ever, it's just you know what are your, let's say, three needle movers for the week, even, I feel. So you'll get to those other things. It's just not today, right, and that helps, because I find a lot of people I'm working with they've got like all the zillion things right now. So I'm like, okay, let's brain dump them and then let's find out what are the three, or, even better, one right, the Keller book, the one thing, what's the one, what's the one of that book? When you get that one thing, there's a dopamine hit, you feel good, and and then you usually get more done.

Carla Reeves:

So true, yeah, okay. One last question you mentioned, like serene, graceful, unwavering resilience.

Monica Bodurka:

I'd love for you, as we close, to just paint a picture for us of what that is, so we can imagine it in our own lives oh, my goodness, well, well, to me it's really about, like I said, it's that being able to be calm in the storm, but more than that, I think it's being able to become and be that best version of yourself you've imagined, right. So we all have that little version. I say that's the version that we had, that image that we had of ourselves when we were 17, right, what you were going to be. And then, meanwhile, life happens and you're like, oh, and I don't mean in a superficial way, I mean in the authentic way, right. And so when you have resilience, to me it means you have vibrant wellbeing, right, right. So it is. You have vibrant well-being, right, I love that. Right. So it is about that vibrant well-being. It's being able to show up as your best self, it's knowing who you are, it's being authentic Again, being able to say no, and then what you say yes to.

Monica Bodurka:

You're present, right, so there's a presence, there's a 100% presence. Your mind isn't in 17 other places. You are here, you are present now, and guess what? You are in joy. You're enjoying yourself, right, and so that's, and I think we have forgotten joy as adults. Right, we've forgotten to play, we've forgotten to have fun, and it's very hard to be anxious or overwhelmed or depressed when we're laughing, right, so vital well-being laughter, enjoy, and actually that makes you result. It's like a. It's like a, you know, self-fulfilling prophecy. It makes you more resilient, and then you know, and so on, and so on.

Carla Reeves:

So, wow, I love that. That is so beautiful. What a beautiful way to close. So, before we finish, make sure I want you to make sure that people know listening, know where to find you and what you're doing and where they can get your book.

Monica Bodurka:

Well, okay, they can find. They can find you on our website, leadership, wellnessca, because we're in Canada. My book I've got a copy here for you. So a new way to be, it's available. I'm like something crazy like 39,000 different book. Let's say, amazon is good, barnes and Noble like every, everywhere, right, everywhere online, you can find it.

Monica Bodurka:

So, so yeah, and on my website you can get a downloadable, free workbook companion with a lot of exercises, because, again, this isn't about intellectually knowing this. We know all this already. This is common sense, common practice. So what I would love for you to do is not even read the whole book. I mean, I'd love for you to read the book but take on one or two or three of the practices and really integrate them in your life, right, and have more energy. That's great. So yeah, the companion, um little workbook is on my website. You can download it for free and, again, really fill out the challenge exercises, do them. Find a little buddy it always helps when you have a buddy to do it with, buddy. It always helps when you have a buddy to do it with to hold you accountable and have fun Amazing.

Carla Reeves:

I think our world needs this so much right now just the tools to calm and reflect and get quiet so we know how to lead in this world that we're navigating. So I thank you for all the amazing work that you're doing and thank you for this conversation and, yeah, I hope you have a beautiful day, everyone, and thank you, monica again for joining me. Thank you.

Monica Bodurka:

Carla, thank you so much. It's been an honor.

Carla Reeves:

Thank you for tuning in to this episode of Differently. It's been an honor to share this conversation with you. Episode of Differently. It's been an honor to share this conversation with you. You know, one of the keys to living fully is to take action when you're inspired to do so. I hope you found that spark of inspiration today and would you help us spread the word. Did someone you know come to mind while you were listening? If this episode could impact someone you know, please share it and pass it along. New episodes drop weekly, so tap that subscribe button and join us next time as we continue to challenge the status quo and get equipped to live life differently.