Differently
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Differently
Ditch Balance, Go for Alignment
Ever feel like you're constantly chasing that elusive sense of "balance" in your life? You're not alone. The struggle to find a flow between work, family, and personal well-being is real.
But what if our entire approach is flawed? In this episode, we are going to challenge the status quo and try on a new approach that balance isn't something you find—it's something you create from within through alignment.
Get ready for some practical strategies that you can put into place right away.
The world doesn’t need you chasing someone else’s version of balance. It needs you grounded, aligned, and showing up as the best version of you.
And the very best part - Alignment allows you to enjoy the feeling of balance even when life is crazy and out of balance.
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Website: https:/www.carlareeves.com/
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Do you find yourself thinking you need more balance in your life, more balance between work and home, between what drains you and what gives you energy? Most people I talk to tell me they want more balance. But here's the truth. I'm finding Balance isn't something you find. Balance is an inside job, and maybe what you really want isn't balance at all, it's alignment. A deep change in the way that we live requires a deep change in the way that we think. I'm Carla Reeves and this is Differently. Hey, it's Carla. I'm so glad you're here. I'm so glad that you pressed play today, because I know there are days when life feels like a lot, and my hope is that this time together feels like a big, deep breath and gives you a new perspective that you can carry right into your day.
Speaker 1:I was on a call this week with mom business owners. Some had babies right in the thick of parenting, even had their babies right on the call. I could see their smiling faces. That was so fun. Others had middle school age kids and then a few of us had grown children and had empty nest. The conversation was about planning your ideal week and what it stunned me was that, regardless of where we were in age and stage, there was still a struggle in managing our time. Whether we had little or plenty of it, it didn't matter. This should stun you too, I hope. And what it showed me was this that what if it's not a time or balance problem, but more of a thinking problem, a choice problem and a clarity issue? And what if the excuse around time is really just that? But where we have more power is in our approach and our choices of how we spend our time. And I want to remind you that, whatever season you find yourself in, remember you don't have to just survive it. You can take part in creating it.
Speaker 1:And today we're going to talk about balance and alignment and why chasing this quest for balance the way the world teaches it, might be setting us up to fail. There have been seasons in my life where I have strived so hard for balance and I, you know, under the illusion or belief that if I could just get my calendar right, if I could just get my priorities lined up, if I could just have my calendar right, if I could just get my priorities lined up, if I could just have the right systems and schedule and workflow, that my time, I could get it under control and manage it, just so, and finally feel effective and productive and fulfilled. Doesn't that sound great? I still fall under this illusion. I want you to know I slip into this trap. In fact, I did it again just this week, thinking that if I can just get my work blocks right, then that's going to happen.
Speaker 1:So here's what I believe is that it's an ongoing creation and we have to be willing, in the different seasons of our life, to be adaptable, to be creative, to set this up in a way that works for us, instead of chasing what works for someone else to find again that it doesn't work for us. Here's what I want you to consider is that balance isn't something we find in our schedule? Is that balance isn't something we find in our schedule? It's something we create inside of ourself through alignment. Okay, so the common belief is that balance is more of like a time issue and we get the time thing figured out. We're going to have balance.
Speaker 1:But when people say they want more balance, or when I have a client who is trying to create more balance in their life, here's what I hear underneath I've lost control of how I spend my time, or I feel at the mercy of my circumstances and the demands of people around me. Here's the thing it sounds like a time or productivity problem, but more time, better systems or squeezing more in the day rarely fixes the problem. The work harder, do more, get better, get efficient strategy just keeps us spinning and the very quest for balance leaves us unfulfilled, because we seldom find ourselves in a place where our personal life, our personal well-being, our professional life, our family, our kids, are in perfect balance. I mean just even as I say that, it becomes more clear to me like, oh my gosh, we're, we're on this quest. That is literally impossible when all those things are going to line up just so.
Speaker 1:The real solution is inside. It's not about perfectly splitting your energy or your time between work and life and kids and home. It's about alignment, and alignment the way I like to think about it. It's about bringing your thoughts, your actions and your desires into harmony. Most people, through my work coaching individuals, they're trying to change their lives by starting with their actions, getting new habits, new schedules, new routines. But here's the thing if the thinking behind those actions don't change, the old beliefs and patterns eventually pull them back. So when you hear me say, like you know, people struggle with and I've struggled with, you know, feeling at the mercy of my circumstances or the people around me. Getting systems right, getting your time right, getting your schedule right isn't going to solve that, because there's something that has you setting everything aside. You know cowering to the demands of others, feeling pulled in a zillion directions, not being clear about what you own want you actually want, because you're so busy pleasing everyone around you. There's so many things in there.
Speaker 1:True alignment begins in your thought life, and when your thinking supports the change that we want to make, then our actions can flow naturally and sustainably. And alignment means that who you are on the inside, those invisible things like your beliefs, your thoughts, the way you talk to yourself, where you've got your eyes set, a vision or an outcome. When those things line up with what you want to actually create in your life, when those things click into place, the change doesn't feel so forced or so hard, because it more becomes who you are. I want to give you some practical takeaways because I know that can feel sometimes lofty and intangible, but it's not so. Here are some a few ways that you can begin to create internal alignment.
Speaker 1:The first one is to upgrade your thinking. So notice, when your thoughts sound like I never have enough time or I'm so busy or I'm never going to catch up, the more you perpetuate this and I used to do this, use these phrases myself a lot and I've literally removed the word busy from my vocabulary because your words create your world. Busy from my vocabulary because your words create your world. So the more you affirm this, the more it feels true. The more you feel behind, the more you're never going to catch up. So upgrade your thinking ever so slightly. I'm not saying make it to a point where it's not believable, but trade it up like one rung on a ladder and then inch your way up over time. Like one rung on a ladder and then inch your way up over time.
Speaker 1:Number two shift your focus. Instead of obsessing or focusing on what you don't have the time you don't have what's missing, focus on what you want to create. So instead of like thinking like oh my gosh, how am I going to manage everything today? I don't have enough time, think what do I want to create today and what what's within my power to to do. That will set me up for success. It doesn't mean it's going to happen, but if you intend for it, you're more likely to achieve it.
Speaker 1:Number three think of doing different instead of doing more. And this is where you want to notice, um, all kind of look for like are there any outdated rules or habits? Where am I wasting my time? Maybe there's things I've committed to that are expired, that I need to let go of? Um, ask yourself what could I stop doing that would free space up for what matters? Ask yourself, what could I stop doing that would free space up for what matters?
Speaker 1:I had a client who wanted more spaciousness in her life and she just thought, kind of like we've been talking about, she had to have more time or the perfect schedule, or have her team, you know, delegating more to her team in order to have that spaciousness. And what I asked her was what do you want to feel more today? What would have you feel like you have more time? And that's when she came up with the word I want to feel more spacious and I said, well, what can you do today that would have you feel that way? And then she started reporting back like I actually do have spaciousness. Or today I laid on the couch and just read a book for 15 minutes and that made me feel like I have space in my life. So it's not always quantity, it might be quality, and it's simple things that can actually have you start feeling more balance, more space in your life, starting now instead of waiting for someday.
Speaker 1:And the last one invent a new game. So I love this one. We're all playing some kind of game that we subscribe to, maybe unconsciously, but really think about what game are you playing and what if you could invent a new game? How do you get to win in this game? A lot of times, there's no way to win in the games that we create for ourselves or the rules that we create. So what new approach could you try on that would actually have you experience alignment in your day? Experience, create balance in your day, today, in this moment, even in a season that feels unbalanced. So maybe, in closing, the real question isn't how do we find balance. Maybe the question is how do I create balance or how do I create alignment inside so I can thrive in any season? The world doesn't need us chasing someone else's version of balance. It needs you and me, grounded and aligned and showing up as the best we have today for our family, for our work, for our marriage, and the very best part is that alignment allows you to enjoy the feeling of balance even when life is crazy and out of balance.
Speaker 1:I'm Carla Reeves and this is Differently. Thank you for listening today and I hope this just brought a pause into your life and a new perspective that you can take right into your day. Remember, this podcast isn't just about listening. You can actually talk back. I want you to hit that button that says send Carla a message and send me a question. You have something lingering from this conversation or your most favorite takeaway? I would love to hear from you. Thank you for making it all the way to the end and thank you for listening to differently. If you enjoyed this episode, will you please go leave a five star review and share it with someone you love. Goodbye for now. I'll see you next week.