Differently

Stop Surviving Your Business, Start Creating It

• Carla Reeves

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If your business looks great on paper but still feels heavy, frantic, or out of control, you’re not alone. In this conversation with agency operations expert Melissa Morris, we explore what happens when strong systems meet outdated thinking.

We explore why success built on survival mode will always lead to burn out and how upgrading your thinking foundation can transform not just your business, but your life. 

Listen in if you’re ready to stop spinning and start creating what you set out to build.


Learn more about Melissa & Agency Authority:

Website

Her previous episode:  Get Off the Hamster Wheel with Melissa Morris

Learn more about Carla:
Website: https:/www.carlareeves.com/
Connect on LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/reevescarla/
Connect on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@differentlythepodcast

Go to https://carlareeves.com/free-class to get The Class schedule, sign up, and/or pass it on to a friend. Each month is a new topic. Come hang out and learn with us for FREE!

Book a Complimentary Strategy Call with Carla: https://bookme.name/carlareeves/strategycall

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Thank you for listening!

SPEAKER_00:

A deep change in the way that we live requires a deep change in the way that we think. I'm Carla Reeves, and this is differently. Hey there. Today I'm sharing an interview that I did with Melissa Morris this last week, actually. She's the founder of Agency Authority, and it's a company that supports busy and overwhelmed agency owners, really break free from feeling stuck and burnout. She is all about putting effective systems in place so you can finally reclaim your time, lead a team, and actually work on your business, not just in it. We joined forces on LinkedIn for LinkedIn Live to just have a conversation about what it really takes to stop just surviving your business so that you can start really creating the life that you set out to have when you started your business. And so whether you find yourself feeling weighted by the endless to-do lists or just knowing there's got to be a better way, I think you'll find this conversation is packed with a lot of insights. It was really fun to see how Melissa works on the external systems in our business and how I support people around the internal stuff, the the thought life and your belief system and all those things that also trip us up and get in the way. And how these two things together can work so beautifully inside of our business and inside of our life. So I adore Melissa. She's been on the podcast before, and I'll link that episode. It was called Get Off the Hamster Wheel. I'll link that episode in the show notes. I hope you enjoy this conversation.

SPEAKER_01:

Hi there. I am Melissa Morris. I am the founder and lead consultant of Agency Authority, where we help busy and overwhelmed multi-six-figure agency owners finally start regaining their time, breaking through the bottleneck, and being able to work on their agency again and lead a team that feels productive and strong and accountable and all of those great things. So I have joining me today Carla Reeves. Carla is the founder of Differently and the host of the Differently podcast. She has 15 years experience helping women do exactly that, start clearing some mental clutter, really getting focused, reminding themselves of what's important. She has some really great tools that she introduces and that helps business owners in that process. So, Carla, do you want to take a minute to share a little bit more?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, thanks, Melissa. Excited to be here. Happy Thursday, everybody. And yeah, gosh, I started this work because my life looked good on paper, but inside I was stressed and overwhelmed and like on spinning on that hamster wheel. And um yeah, realized that the power of our thoughts, like we can have the greatest systems and we can have the greatest time management. And those things are also important. But if we're operating on a sort of a faulty thinking system or an outdated thinking system, it it just will forever keep us on that hamster wheel and not experiencing that success that we and the fulfillment that we set out to create our business for, for the peace and fulfillment and like all the things. And so that's what I'm passionate about is helping people really build a solid thinking foundation to then put those systems on top of so they can actually experience what they set out to create in their business.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I love that. And I think, you know, our missions in life are so similar, but the the work we do and the way we support business owners and women, achieving that is different, right? So we are both just firmly committed to um living life purposefully and not feeling like your business is consuming you and showing up with intentionality. And so on my end, we're leaning into that in like kind of the business way of what can we implement operationally? How do we get you more time? How do we delegate? And you bring this just really important piece of what are the mindset shifts that need to happen, right? How do I need to show up personally? How am I taking care of my mind and my body so that I can step into that and really own that? And so we shared, I was sharing with you right before we got on here. Someone mentioned to me, like, you really should just talk about some of this mindset stuff that goes on. And I was like, it's true, there's a lot of mindset shifts. And then you popped up, and I I knew you were the person who I wanted to come on and just share about this more because I know you have such a depth of knowledge, and I know you've helped so many people do that. So let's get started. So let's talk about you talk about mind management. So why don't you tell us a little bit more about that and why that matters?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, so I think mindset is just such an overused term in our world. Um, but thought management or mind management is really exactly what it says. It's becoming aware first of your thoughts and the what is running in their 2047, because it's shading everything that you do. Um, and so the first thing is just becoming aware of what is circling in your mind all the time. Is it helping you move forward? Is it aligned with your goals? Is it, you know, is it supporting everything you're out to create? And just and then looking for what are the outdated thoughts? Because in 15 years of coaching, everybody I have coached has come in with outdated thinking that often got created when they were a child, that we're trying to run a business, but there's parts of our thinking that are operating like an eight or 10-year-old. And it keeps us over-delivering, over-giving, overextending, or like just operating completely outside of our domain of responsibility because of these rules and beliefs that we are just unexamined. And so mind management is really examining and then having power and choice to actually shift that and rewire and update your operating system up here to support what you're out to create in your life. And it has been life-changing for me and it's life-changing for my clients. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, it's really, really powerful. And I think you're so right. We can get swept up with thoughts and beliefs and ideas that don't serve us. And I think sometimes we don't even recognize our spinning around in there and then are ultimately impacting how we're showing up in our business as a leader, and then even as a mom or a wife, a friend, a spouse, a significant other, a friend, all areas of our life, right? And they all start to blend together and work together. And we have to watch it that if what's going on in our mind is not in alignment or positive, you know, we have to work to fix that. So for someone who is feeling busy, overwhelmed, maybe they don't even realize, you know, they're holding on to some old beliefs or thought patterns that aren't serving them, or, you know, have an idea. I I think one that feels easy to maybe recognize and point out is an idea that I have to hustle and work really hard if I'm gonna be successful, right? Like running a business and a family, it has to be really hard or something's gotta give in a way, right? So I think other people, though, have maybe different versions of that. Maybe they have maybe it's not that, but something else that keeps them stuck and feeling uncomfortable. So, what are some ways that people can start to even maybe recognize what they're holding on to or what's blocking them so that they can move towards unblocking it?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, so the way that I started, and the way I start with my clients, but like a no when I was a brand new mom um 20 plus years ago, I was feeling like I was losing my sanity and I started writing. And so just simply like you don't have to be a writer, you don't have to love writing, you don't have to love journaling. Journaling and writing is just a vehicle to help you access what's inside. Um, and so I started writing just five or 10 minutes a day, just emptying my thoughts. And so if you do that for five, seven seven days, just empty your thoughts, you're gonna start to see like a landscape of like what's happening in here, if you're honest with yourself, you know, like, and you're gonna get a pretty good picture, like wow, this is what's happening inside. Like, even though life gets looks good on the outside, your business is moving, a lot of times inside we're kind of a mess, right? Like we have a lot of angst, we have a lot of disease. Um, and so you're just writing for five or seven days, five minutes a day, is gonna give you a picture of what's happening inside. And then you can kind of go back and like highlight words or you know, things that show up again and again, patterns, like that's gonna give you some really good insight to start.

SPEAKER_01:

This is making me so excited, Carla, because let me tell you why. As a very data-driven person and someone who even spends their time where I'm in agencies and I'm businesses, I'm like, what is the data, right? Like, how are we gonna figure out pricing? How are we gonna figure out if you need a new team member? How are we gonna figure out when your next client is gonna come on? How are we gonna capacity plan? We're doing all of that on data, right? And I'm saying, well, let's look back on trends, let's look at time tracking, let's look at historically how long clients have stayed with you. And we're looking at that data. And I think what you said is like so simple, but so profound is when I'm writing down what's rolling around in my head, it will bring to light patterns, things I didn't know were in there, um, trends. Like you said, maybe there's kind of an ongoing theme that that's coming up. And I I have used writing in the past as well. I would say it will like ebb and flow how much I feel moved to write or journal. Um, I've tried just freestyle where that idea of, well, you just have to write. It doesn't matter what you write, but you have to write for five minutes. And what's interesting is you know, that first minute or two, you're writing, like, I don't know what to write. This is a look at me on my paper. And then the next thing you know, you're like, I feel like I'm a terrible mom because I was in a meeting in my paper, right? And then you're like, wait, what just what just happened? Like what spills out suddenly gets very interesting. Very interesting.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, and for high achievers and entrepreneurs, like one, you have to get over that you actually have time to do this. Like, I believe you don't have time not to, like, because slowing down will help you speed up because of what you just said, because you're going to uncover something that's been literally robbing your energy and your capacity. And so if we're taking better care of this and what's happening, we're gonna have more energy for all the other things that you want to be doing.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes. And, you know, again, similarly, I'm seeing like how just like a lot of the same things we apply to our business, we should be also applying to our mindset, right? Like I always tell business owners, you can't refine a workflow, you can't automate it, you can't successfully delegate it until you understand it, until you have to find it. And I think the same thing here, right? Get it out. And now I see, oh, I kind of have this idea that uh I'm not spending enough time with my kids, or I'm not present enough with my significant other because I'm really distracted, right? Okay, I recognize now that this is something that's swirling around with me. Now, what can I do about it? How do I how do I move through that? So I bet you have some really great tips on those next steps.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, and it can even be something like just noticing that like I see this all the time with client journals because my clients journal right with me where I can read their journals, which is a whole nother topic. But a lot of times, like just similar words will come up, like you know, hard, like it's so hard, everything's so hard. And so even just discovering a word that is in your language, like your thoughts and words create your world. And so just eliminating a word from your vocabulary and your thinking can literally start to shift, just make a micro shift, you know. Like I eliminated the word busy from my vocabulary a lot of years ago, because I would just noticed I would always say it. And then it makes me feel frantic and sort of in a panic all the time. And so if you start to just notice your language and then change it, whether it's you speaking to yourself or you speaking to others, that can make a huge impact. So, yes, I love what you said. Like, do the writing for five or seven days and then pick one thing, you know. And if it maybe it's a word that you saw, or maybe it's a pattern that you saw or a complaint, like something that you're just complaining about. Like, how can I address that? How can I nip that and get that out of clear that out of my thinking so there's more space and peace and calm up here, right?

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, I had a similar epiphany. This was a few years ago, and it was during a particularly busy season of life, and I found myself saying a lot, well, I don't have time. Well, I don't have time. And something clicked for me where I thought I'm not making the time, right? Like I'm not making the time for that. And I need to decide, is it okay that I'm not making the time for that right now? Or is it not okay? Right. And if it's okay that I'm not gonna make the time for that, then just less and release it and say, I'm choosing not to do that, right? I'm choosing not to do that with my time. And if it is something that is important to me, then I need to schedule it. And I I need to find where that time is and I need to let something else go. So I've heard before, and we may have talked about this, where you know, this idea of work-life balance is a bit of an illusion that it's never right, I spent the perfect amount of time with my family and the perfect amount of time with my friends, and the perfect amount of time working on my business. And we were just so imbalance. But it's rebalancing, right? So maybe there is a season where your family is needing you more. Maybe you do have young children or an elderly parent who's needing extra support from you right now. And that is where more of your energy goes. And then as time shifts, then maybe you are in a season where you're pouring into your business more because that's what is needed in that moment. But we're rebalancing. But what's important is that we're always coming back to rebalance, right? So it's the trend. So in any one day, I may not have spent the perfect amount of time here and the perfect amount of time there, but maybe over the course of a month and two months and three months, and as the whole, have I created balance in a life that feels like it's showing it up in all these ways? So I'm curious, do you disagree with that notion? Do you um agree with that? What are your thoughts on that?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, no, we did talk about that because I always say, like, ditch balance, go for alignment because of what you're saying. Balance is this illusion that just I feel like it's a quest we're on that always, we always feel like we're failing at because it's it's not really possible, maybe for small blips, but most of the time things are sort of out of balance. But if you're taking care of your thinking and taking care of yourself and kind of like checking in, right? This writing is sort of a checking in on a daily basis. You can then be in a lopsided season and know that, you know, instead of just it being in your head and spinning and and uh making it all wrong or making or feeling like you're failing, you can manage that and go, you know what, like I may not have all this time, but I do need some quality time with my family. Where can I make space for that instead of just feeling regretful later after? So it's like an ongoing sort of check-in to make sure like, are things in alignment and where can I readjust as needed ongoingly, like you're saying, rebalance.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes. One of the things that helped me too to make sure I kept rebalancing when I am in particularly busy seasons. So I am thinking of when my, so my kids are 11 and 9 now, but when they were babies and toddlers and you're still sleep deprived and kind of days start to blur together. Um, there were days where I thought, oh, I really just spent too much time in the office and they were with the nanny a lot, or I sent my husband with them all to the park and I stayed home and I really just should have gone to the park too. It would beat myself up in that day. What I started doing was at the end of every day, um, I think I might have even used the five-minute journal for a period of time with this, but I don't think you have to do anything fancy. It can be a spiral notebook where you're just writing in. I would, you know, kind of write down something good that happened or something that brought me joy. And what I would found is obviously like those moments with family, with my children, would end up in this notebook. And so at the end of the day, when I'm like, oh, I should have just gone to the park instead of staying behind to do this, I would look back through the pages and then I would say, okay, well, today this is what this is just what your life needed. You needed to be in your business today and focused. But two days ago, you actually went to the beach as the whole family, right? And four days ago, you had a picnic lunch with the kids in the front lawn. And right, and so again, kind of data, and it was able to, yeah, and I could see it clearly, right? Not in tired and sleep deprivation and you know, feeling a bunch of mom guilt. I could have like written there in my own, yeah, but oh, here's evidence that I've really been showing.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, because we forget, you do forget, you forget, and that's like what you just um showed is like taking different inventories, right? We're so good as women at like, oh, we didn't do that, or looking at the lack of everything, right? Or instead of looking at like what did happen, what time did I spend? And often it's quality over quantity anyway, right?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, exactly. Okay, so you had a three-step when life gets crazy practice. And I would love to hear a little bit more about that.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, so this kind of definitely like emerged the the three steps. Um, but it's been something that I have been practicing in my writing and in my life for decades. Um, but I just realized like, oh, these are the three things. Um, but the first one is what we've been talking about it's calm and manage your mind. And so when life is crazy, and it can be this can be an everyday practice or or just a writing practice, like these three steps you can take to your, you know, your notepad. Um, but the first step is really just empty your brain, like just literally empty it, like we were talking about. Just get out what like that alone is going to help you feel better over time. Um, because we as um busy people and women, I think we just have what, like 60,000 thoughts a day. Like there's so much in there. Because it's underestimation for whatever's working. Probably it is no, for real. So just emptying that is going to be so good. But my the next step is expanding your perspective. So get it out, and then it gives you some distance from it being just in here because when it's in here, it feels big and loud and scary and confusing and all the things. So getting it out, you can actually step back and like have a bigger, broader view of like, okay, what's important here? Um, and then you can actually start to challenge some of your thinking and go, is that real? Is that true? Is that helping me move forward? Um, or things like, you know, when you wrote it out, it felt like this challenge or obstacle, but then you can start to ask different questions like, is there an opportunity inside of this? You know, who am I called to be inside of this thing that's happening? Um, you know, I can't tell you how many times clients, you know, something is shifting with their team or somebody's leaving the team and they're like freaking out and panicking. And I'll invite them, like, just be curious, just be curious. So when you get out that writing and then you stand back, you can be curious, like, what's happening here? Like, maybe it feels bad, but maybe there's something shaking out here that is gonna be good and is is actually helping the business and helping each of us individually, even though it doesn't feel that way at the moment. So asking different questions, flipping things on their head, like that's that's where the magic happens and really expanding your perspective. And that can also be super helpful to have a thought partner in there to help you do that. Because sometimes we just get in our, you know, it's hard for us to break out of our own thinking box. Um and then the third step is aligning your actions. So when in the second step, when you're standing back and looking at the big picture and asking, like, what is my ideal outcome here? Then you can come to align your action and say what action, what response, or what inaction aligns with my ideal outcome? And that is a way to cut through like a lot of noise and a lot of drama and a lot of reactivity. Like most of us are just reacting to our life instead of like pausing and intentionally choosing. And that's those little micro movements are where you create like foundational lasting change over time. It's so powerful.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes. I I think again, like I just keep seeing so many parallels about how this stuff works, like everywhere. Do you know? Yes. And I think that's proof that it does work, right? Like this is the process. So again, like I know when an agency owner is coming to me and it feels they're like my back end is falling apart, like I don't know what's going on. Like I'm just putting out fires all day. Okay, first let's stop. Let's just brain dump and I just take them right down in the weeds. Like, because when we can just get very here's a list of all the things, right? Like client onboarding feels like a mess. I'm still reviewing tons of slide decks. Um so and so just isn't taking accountability in the way I thought they were. And I'm totally tied up in meetings. Okay, so let's ask some different questions, right? Like, why does it feel this way? Why are we finding ourselves in this situation? What would feel better? And now let's work towards getting there. So, and in the way that it's helpful for them to talk through that in the business kind of realm, I also see, like you're saying, there's so much power in being able to talk through even some like the internal dialogue attached through that with somebody else. Because just like in a very, you know, kind of workflow and tactical way, I can say, wait, we're gonna put it in a spreadsheet and we're gonna put it in clickup. Why are we doing that? Like, what's going on here? And they, oh, I it didn't even dawn on them, right? They couldn't see the force of the trees. And I think that's probably what you're really bringing to the table, too, through this work is you can say, hmm, I keep hearing you use the word hard. Like I keep seeing this showing up for you. Let's ask some questions about that. Let's start reframing that, or whatever you're noticing that they're just cruising along. And again, like they can't see the forests through the trees.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, yeah. It's you know, and it's like it feels like when you're in that situation, it feels like I need to change everything out here in order to feel better. But there's like when people start to make the changes inside, it like all of a sudden ripples to all of these things outside, and nothing changed, but their experience of it is entirely different. I can't tell you how many times I've heard that. Um, so yes, so much power in that and so much um similarity. I love that.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Well, and because, like you're saying too, it all just goes together, right? When my brain and my thoughts feel overwhelming and out of control, and I can't recognize like what I'm just kind of moving and I'm very reactive. Well, how am I likely to be showing up in my business? I'm gonna be showing up in the same way, like I'm gonna be showing up in a lot of like confusion and reactivity and overwhelm and frustration. And so I think tackling both ends of that is the true way to move forward, right? Like, how do we really get system and clarity internally? And then how can we use that to drive clarity within our business and our team and our clients? And then that's where we really start getting a lot of success.

SPEAKER_00:

That's exactly right.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay, and so you have also talked about writing as a leadership super tool. So we've, you know, we're trying to kind of connect these dots here that um, you know, like you said, mindset kind of gets can kind of get thrown around a little bit to the point where it's feeling diluted. Yeah, right. And so, you know, I love what you're talking about. Like, let's get intentional, let's get things in alignment. I love your word, like how you keep coming back to like making sure things are in alignment. And I think we're starting to see how what's going on in here and in here is like impacting what's going on out here and how we're showing up as a leader. So, can you share a little bit more about how you've worked with leaders and help them to use some of these techniques to show up better in their business?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I mean, it's it's so incredible. Like a lot of times I'll be working with a leader and they are like, I just need to get clear. I just need to get clear. Like you've probably heard that so many times, Melissa, right? So many times. And I've felt that so many times myself. Yes. Um, and every time I sit down with them and they write and then we talk, they don't need clarity. The clarity is there. Often it's a courage issue or something else. Um, but the power of like just emptying their brain. Like I've had clients who say, like, when they are writing on a regular basis, they communicate better. Um, I had a leader, uh, she was like a director, uh, I think she was VP of Human Resources, and she had a large team, and she started just doing five minutes of writing before her meetings. And like that just was so powerful for her because she went in and could lead with greater clarity. So, as leaders, I feel like we have such a great opportunity to first take care of ourselves in our own mind so that we can show up and be present and calm and actually lead other people and show other people how to do this too, especially in our world right now. Like there's so much change and change so fast that as leaders, we need to have tools that keep us grounded so that we can lead others and be an example for that. Um thinking, you know, just thinking bigger, getting out of your own head. You know, a lot of most of the people I work with are overthinkers. Um, and so I and I am too.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm like raising my hand on that one.

SPEAKER_00:

Writing helps me get out of my head and into my life and into my business. Um, and so just that ability to be more present with your team, with your leaders, with your clients, you know, all of that. Um and I think even just leading, yeah, leading your clients is a whole nother thing, right? Um, sometimes you can just understand understanding yourself better and your own thoughts helps you lead other people better. Um, so so much power there. And I I want you to think about it like a um instead of you know writing or journaling, if that feels like that's not my thing, it's really a tool to navigate your life. And so your life and your business. Um, and so simply like I often will start my day. Well, I start my day every day writing, like personally, but in my business, I actually will start my business day with a little bit of writing because I can just get out what is on my brain and then really realize like what is most important today, where do I need to shift so that I can raise my energy for what I need to do today and all of those things. So, such a powerful leadership tool.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, so I'm actually thinking of I I mean, I've worked with so many agency owners. Like, I just keep having more situations come to mind where they are struggling with some team dynamics and inevitably they're looking at me saying, Melissa, is it me? Like, am I just not a good leader? Am I just not showing up in a good way? And some sometimes I think it can be either way, right? Like, so I'm working with them on the angle of are we giving your team the tools, the resources, the SOPs, the checklists, the training that they need to truly be successful? Like, are we being very clear about expectations and roles and responsibilities and getting a lot of that in place? Um, and as we're moving in that, sometimes still inevitably I find them leaning on, well, maybe I'm just not very good at making trainings. I have them, but I'm not good at it. Or um, well, I don't want to hold them too hard to make sure clickup stays updated or whatever. And sometimes I feel like they're taking too much ownership over how their team is showing up and performing. And so I'm curious if you have worked with any business owners where you've seen that and how can you how can we help them guide that, right? Because I can say, like, no, this SOP looks good. Like, you know, I think you should be doing anything like that. So, how do we help them start to separate and not take on too much ownership for their team and want to, because I think as women we can want to do that, and sometimes they're wonderful team members, they're wonderful people, but how do we help them navigate when maybe they're starting to uncover? Like, I like this isn't working over here.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I mean, there's there's so much there, but but I think let's just go into like one tool that I use is called your domain of responsibility. And so even just sitting down and like writing down, like making a list of what are the, you know, I actually will have people like draw a circle, and then inside that circle is what you're actually responsible for, right? And so as a leader, write down the things that you're actually responsible for, and then in that, and then you draw a larger circle around that and you start to place, and you could help them do this, Melissa, too, like with your clients, but right in that outer circle, like all the other things that they've got their arms in, you know, like an octopus. I think as women, we get our arms in all kinds of places that are not ours, and it creates so wreaks havoc for us and for other people. And so just kind of having a visual of that can be super helpful to see like where am I managing things that are not mine to manage? Um, because there's so many different, I think, um, things within ourselves that can drive those different behaviors that you're talking about. Like, you know, even someone who has a belief that like it's all on me. Um, you know, I've I've worked with a lot of clients who feel like everything is just all on me. And often they grew up in an environment where maybe they were the oldest child or it literally was all on them. Everything fell on them, and that was true at one time in their life, but they're literally still operating like that as if they're in that environment now, and it wreaks a lot of havoc. And so recognizing that and breaking like breaking yourself free of that to say that was then, this is now, like, what kind of environment do I want to create now? And how do I want to feel? And what is what is going to uh create that? Because it may take a lot of like identifying those things and then acting on your commitment instead of what you feel like your knee-jerk reaction is in the moment. Because a lot of people just want to step in and take it over, right? Myself included. Um really start to shift those behaviors so that you can create a different way of leading your business and your team that frees everybody up.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, I love the two circles because again, like these are almost data points, right? Black and white, or if you're like me and you use colored patents, it's gonna be in purples and blues and green and white. Um, and I think that's really important because there is this, you know, kind of thought process and truth too, like you are the CEO, so ultimately everything is your business and your responsibility and comes back on you. Yes, but we can't scale without losing our minds if we don't have support, if we don't have people in place who can we can kind of give some of that to now. Yes, if ultimately that person leaves or something happens there, right? But they need to be able to hold some of that for us. Because if I continue to be the sole reviewer of every task, the sole updater of Asana, the sole person who does all of the things and feels like I have to be responsible for every individual's down to the email and click up task, it's too much. And that you can't hold all that and then be responsible for that. So I love that idea of right, this is what I should be, and then this is what I need to let go of. And they need to hold some responsibility and accountability for as well.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, and that can be really powerful, even around your marriage and your children, too. Like I was just working with a client and she was all over the place, like managing things with her kids, like just feeling like she had to be teaching them in every moment. Like I was just exhausting her. So a lot of times we're out of our domain in all kinds of other places, too. So even looking at other places in your life, those may free you up to have more energy and capacity in your business too.

SPEAKER_01:

And vice versa. So smart. So, what would be a red flag that I am probably taking responsibility for things that are out of my domain? Business, personal life, otherwise, what would be some red flags?

SPEAKER_00:

You find yourself exhausted all the time, like no matter what, like no matter what great systems you have and time management things, like if you're doing all the right things, but you're still exhausted, there's a good chance that you're overgiving, overextending, over pleasing, over-delivering, um, you know, somewhere, one or more of all of those.

SPEAKER_01:

And I I would totally co-sign on that because I've seen it where I like I mentioned, I'm telling them, no, the workflows are there, the tool is there, the checklists are there. You don't need to continue to hold that. We we can let that, we can let that go. And sometimes it is maybe, you know, that team member just needs some more support. And sometimes the team member would be more than happy to hold it. The business owner just won't let go, like they won't let go of it.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, yeah, those are definitely signs of just kind of surviving, right? This was the theme of our talk today. But surviving your business. If you feel exhausted, if you feel like you're just spinning your wheels and kind of going through the motions in an autopilot, there's a good chance there's something inside that's running you instead of you leading. And like it's just such a gift to yourself and everybody else to understand what that is so that you can shift that. Yes, amazing, Carla.

SPEAKER_01:

I think you have given everybody such amazing insights, such very practical tips. Thank you so much for coming on and sharing all of this. I know this is so needed. And I feel like too, okay, it's October 2nd. We're heading into that time of year where it really ramps up, right? The holiday rush, the extra family demands, the long list of things that the school wants you to do, and all the Christmas parties and Secret Santa gifts, and uh, you know, whatever holiday you um partake in. I I know this can feel like a very busy time of year. So, what are some maybe final tips you can give to anybody who watches on how they can like mentally and practically um get ready so that they don't find themselves whipping into the end of the year feeling completely drained?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Um, one, I would just say I would first envision like, what do you want the rest of this year to look like? What do you want to feel at the end of this year? Like if you fast forward to the end of December and you're looking back, what do you want to feel, see, and experience? And like really get clear about that. And then look at everything that's happening and look at where are the places where you're saying yes when you really mean no? Because that might be a really good place to just start to ever so slightly like look for things that are so small, because I think people get scared, especially when it's involves their people and their loved ones. Um, but they can be changes that are so small. Like I had a client, she hosted family dinner, and like it was starting to just stress her out because of the time. Like it was like, I don't know what time it was, but the time of day just like created so much stress for her. And so we talked about just shifting that. And so she got in communication with her mom and just shifted it by like a half hour, something so small. And like it just free, I mean, she'd been suffering under that for months. So, like, look for small places that would just give you some breathing room because you having breathing room is going to benefit every you and everything and everybody around you. Um, and that writing practice, like just five minutes a day for seven days, like, or for the rest of the year if you want to get crazy. Um, and using those three steps for like just really what do you want to create this year for the rest of the year? And then how can you set yourself up to do that with little like little steps? Start with one micro step, eliminating a word or saying no, you know, yeah, saying no where you've always said yes. Simple, simple things.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, and I found, I think we talked about this too on a previous conversation. I would find for myself when I didn't early on say, okay, what do I want the holiday season to look like or right the summer to look like or whatever? I would find myself actually really overdoing it because I would think, oh, there are these Christmas lights. Let's go look at the Christmas lights. Oh, we've got to make cookies. Oh, and I remember when my husband was like, How many Christmas lights do you need to see, woman? And I was like, What are you talking about? He's like, What if we see like four sets of Christmas lights? And I'm like, have we? And I was just in this like, enjoy the holiday season. I would pack it in, and then I was like stressing my family to death. They're like, Can we just stay home and rest? And so I thought, okay, right. So, and then I did it this past summer. Yeah, I did it this past summer. I'm, you know, started doing it with the holidays. And around this time of year, I look ahead and say, okay, let's just find one fall festival we should go to and a pumpkin patch. Like we don't need to go to all of them in a mile, you know, radius of our home. What do we want to do for Christmas? Okay, I wanna we wanna bake cookies as a family. We um we have this, there's a this event in Orlando called Ice. We love to go to. I'm like, okay, so that's like our thing. And then that's that's it. Okay. And then I schedule them in and then I know. And so when things I'm feeling that energy and everybody's on Instagram and all that, oh, the X number of shopping days, and have you done this? And you know, and then all the guilt reels are like, are you spending time to soak it in with your family though? And you're like, I don't know, am I? Um, I can look and go, no, I am right. Like I am, like I am ready, I'm doing the right things. And I just it's like my checkpoint, right? Like there it is again, like right on the calendar. Nope, I'm doing yet, which is just a journal. Like, write it down, like you're saying, just commit to that practice. And I agree, I think it is just so transformative because it's right there in your own handwriting for you to see, for you to continue to come back to, and it really helps you, like and it can just help.

SPEAKER_00:

Like, we need to get better at just learning to calm ourselves, right? To just calm our mind. So, yes, five minutes can do it. So powerful.

SPEAKER_01:

Uh okay. So, everybody go right right now. Five minutes. Five minutes, set the timer. It's gonna change your life. We promise it's gonna change our life. Um, Carla, thank you, thank you, thank you so much. I think you are so wonderful. I think your presence always just makes me feel calmer and more at ease. Um, so please tell people how they can work with you if what they're saying, they're like, yes, I need Carla in my life.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, so you can go to my website, which is Carlareeves.com, but I host a free class every month where you can actually experience writing, like guided writing. So I'll guide you through the whole process. You can experience it for yourself. I do that once a month. The next one is on the 16th of um October. Um, and then if you want to go deeper, I have a monthly partnership that's you know, you can just go month to month where we just get in a partnership. I'm your thought partner, and you're gonna be writing, and we interact over your writing and we just help you have more clarity and alignment and forward momentum in your life. So turning the mental chaos into forward momentum is really the basic of everything I do. Um, and then I have a deeper dive, which is a 12-week where if you really are in a place where you're like, I need to just like reset this foundation so that I can really build on that. That's what that program is for. Like, we're gonna do a deep dive into your thinking and really reset your thinking foundation so you can start creating your life instead of in your business instead of surviving it. So those are the three ways. Amazing. Thank you. Thank you so much for having me.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, yes, yes, yes. And if you want, go ahead and put the link to your workshop in the comments under this live. So if people want to, they can sign up.

SPEAKER_00:

So okay, after, right? Yeah, so they'll find that there. Okay, good. Awesome. Thank you so much, Carla. Thank you so much. Have a great day. Thank you for tuning in to this episode of Differently. Hey, if you're ready to stop circling the same thoughts and start creating real momentum, check out my coaching experiences. There's a 12-week experience for a big shift, or there's a monthly writing and coaching partnership for ongoing clarity, creativity, alignment, and momentum. You can find all the details at Carlareeves.com. And if you enjoyed this episode, please help me grow the podcast and leave a five-star review on Apple Podcasts and share with someone you love. Until next time, stop surviving your life. Start creating it.