Differently

Client Spotlight with Erin Davis

• Carla Reeves

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The heaviest weight might not be your calendar or inbox. It could be the old story you keep carrying. Today I sit down with Erin Davis, a dear friend and brand strategist to unpack her “survival model” that once helped her cope but now fueled burnout, irritation, and constant fixing. What changed everything for her wasn’t her circumstances, it was learning to see and understand her thinking patterns, challenging old thoughts, and making micromovements over time.

Erin shares the core beliefs that ran her day and how writing turned into a practical lens for clarity. We explore micro movements that require no extra time and talk about how she freed up energy without changing anyone else.

If you’re outwardly successful but secretly exhausted, this conversation is for you.

Enjoy!

Learn more about Erin and the beautiful work that she does with people like you!
Matchbox Women

Learn more about Carla:
Website: https:/www.carlareeves.com/
Connect on LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/reevescarla/
Connect on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@differentlythepodcast

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Book a Complimentary Strategy Call with Carla: https://bookme.name/carlareeves/strategycall

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Thank you for listening!

SPEAKER_00:

A deep change in the way that we live requires a deep change in the way that we think. I'm Carla Reeves, and this is differently. Hello. We're so excited that you're here.

SPEAKER_01:

So excited to be here.

SPEAKER_00:

And Erin Davis and I are having another conversation. You can go back and check out other episodes that she's been on one on September 12th of 24. And that one was like burnout to really like standing in your true brand. And then February 20th of 25, we did a behind the scenes with Kelly Marshall just talking about entrepreneurship and friendship and things like that. So, Erin, welcome back. I'm so glad you're here.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you. I'm so glad to be here. Obviously, I love chatting with you because this is our third time. And so it's so good.

SPEAKER_00:

And it won't be the last. Maybe the listener hasn't heard the other ones. Why don't you just give a little sense of who you are and what season of life you're in? Anything you feel inspired to share?

SPEAKER_01:

Um, well, my name's Erin Davis. I have been in the brand and marketing realm um for my entire professional career. Um I went to college for communications. Um I got my master's in it. And it's taken me all that time to just really realize and live into this understanding and knowing that communicating is like the gift that God has given me. And um that's kind of been refined and um honed over time in uh my work life. And that looks like my business matchbox Women Now, where I help women attach their created divine identity to what they're doing in business. And that typically reflects also in their life. And when I talk about sustainability, I don't necessarily mean it from a financial or even a time management standpoint. Um I I mean it from working from who you truly are and then attaching that to the work that you do. That makes it sustainable, and then all the goals or success or the vision that you're kind of working towards or living into that comes as a natural um expression from working, you know, from your true identity. Um, I have four children. I live on a ranch in uh California, and um I love growing and learning and working with other women who are on kind of that same trajectory. Um I don't know if it's like doing our best as much as it is, you know, being as as closely aligned with who we're designed to be as possible. And so God just kind of leads me to women who are an expression of that. And that's how you and I came together, like how Kelly and I have come together, a new friend Leah I met online. It's just like it all works, you know. Kind of you come, what comes to you um is what you know comes from what what you're looking for. And um so I think this conversation is an expression of that and the work that you and I have done together, and just how good it all is. Not that it's easy, but it just feels right. So you keep going and you keep doing it, and I don't know, there's just kind of proof in what comes out of that, and so um that's how I'm I I'm applying all that to life and how I do work, and it feels good. Feels right, yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

So the way Aaron and I connected is kind of an interesting story um because well, Kelly Marshall introduced us, I don't even know how long ago that was, a couple years. I don't time has flown. I know it might even be I don't even know either. But Aaron and I like met and then we just started these coffee chats like once a month or once every couple weeks. I can't even remember, but we just felt inspired to stay connected and we would just meet and we would just talk about whatever life and business and all the things. And then I don't even remember exactly how it happened, but I think something that you had shared like stirred something in me, like, oh, I I want to share, like I want her to know her survival model. And I think I approached you, I don't really remember correctly my memory, but somehow we decided that we were gonna share services like trade services, and I would take her through the coaching, the 12-week coaching program, and she was gonna support me in writing emails and understanding my brand more and understanding how to kind of extract who I am and put it in the emails and all the things. I mean, we you we covered so much on that side of things, which we might do another episode about. Um but so Erin, we started working together and you started going through my coaching program, and that's what we kind of want to have just a conversation about so that you can peek inside of what it looks like um and what we walk through together um inside of that 12-week program. And so is there anything else you want to add to our connection and meeting that I missed or um only that Carla and I have never actually met in real life.

SPEAKER_01:

We've never actually sat across a real table. Um, so I love like the power of technology and the internet for that. Um, and someday we will meet in real life. But I think the other thing is that um I remember, you know, we were kind of talking and there were so many similarities. Like we we need to do something. And so I really came to your work with zero expectations, but I did have a belief that, like, you know, I've read all the books and I have been in coaching and and done all the things for years. I my belief was that I I was kind of I couldn't change certain habits. Like this is who I am, and really I need to survive the things that I can't change. Like that's just probably kind of my story. And I think that maybe through the process of me kind of talking about that with you, you were like, Oh, uh, I I beg to differ. I think if you understood your survival model, you might have more choices. Um, and you might find that there is more that you can maybe change those habits.

SPEAKER_00:

Um yeah. Well, and you just reminded me, like I did, like Erin is such a beautiful light, like she is such a beautiful light in the world. And what I sensed is like you had this heaviness that you were carrying around. And usually like that heaviness is tied to our survival model and like agreements we made with ourselves a long time ago that is weight and heavy and that we don't have to carry anymore. And I just knew like it was gonna free you up. And I just I I have never entered a coaching relationship like you and I did, because like it's not like she was seeking it, like she wasn't looking for anything. I'm like, I've already done it. And we just did it, like we just we just decided to jump in and do it. And so I want people to understand like what did survival look like for you? Because um, and I think I also saw myself in you because I had that heaviness, you know, at one time, like I was doing all the right things and and and but like something just wasn't clicking. It just was I wasn't able to make traction that I knew was possible. And so what did survival look and feel like for you? Because I think sometimes we just get accustomed and resigned to like this is just life, and we lose hope that it can be better.

SPEAKER_01:

I think for me, I you what one of your like what something that you say a lot is that you serve high achievers. And I didn't identify with being somebody who is like high achieving. Um but over time I've realized I am like I get a lot done. I, you know, run a successful business, I'm a mom, you know, I help with my in-laws. There's a lot going on. I am actually achieving a lot. But what I was telling myself that I wasn't because I was burnt out, I was short-tempered, I was irritated. Um, and that I could, I could mask a lot. Um, and you know, kind of the outward success told me like, oh, must be doing something right. Like the the bad habits or that irritation, burn out that heaviness, it's just must be part of life. And um, you know, if I can just continue to achieve, then that's telling me I'm doing enough right. And that maybe those those feelings are, yeah, they're just part of life. And um, I don't know, I'll I'll pray harder and I'll like do more Bible studies and I'll get around women who um, you know, make me feel good and I'll have positive talk. And um I don't know, I'll do some, you know, uh some rituals and some self-help and some brief deep breathing. And that will change, you know, help me cope with the irritation or burnout or um heaviness that's there. And so it was what came out in my survival model was this like, I'll fix it. I'll fix it, you know, I'll I'll because that has worked in so many other places. Um and I just didn't know I didn't know any other way. And it, you know, this age and stage, I just kind of figured like I'm you know, this is who I am. And it's okay because I'm still achieving a lot. Um, I'm still successful. Um, I still have lots of moments of good. And um but yeah, there was I don't know, when you work with somebody or you sit across from somebody that like gets to know you and it holds space for something more, like it can't help but crack you open. And um it just I was like, oh, maybe there's something more and coming to you with no expectations, um yeah, it was just the right, I don't know, it was like the right formula or the right, the right thing.

SPEAKER_00:

Um yeah, the timing was such a god thing. Um I think we both felt that like all the way through. So if if you haven't heard me talk about survival model before, um it's like it's a it's something that got created a long time ago that literally it's made up of like your thinking and your beliefs and your patterns and your actions and the way you respond to things. And it literally helped you to survive at one time. And most often now, like as an adult, if you feel like you keep hitting your head against like the same wall and the same unfulfilling feelings, and you sort of can't get past that, it's very likely that you're operating in survival. And it's like uh it prevents you. It's like it's designed to kind of keep you right where you are, and it's a blind spot and it's hard to see. And so getting outside of this is when you can really start to uh make true change and be free of this like heavy weight. Like in mine, I was just constantly trying to do more, be better, work harder, like take care of other people more, please more. And I'd have fleeting moments of feeling better, but then I would just fall back down to those old beliefs I had about myself, and then it would cause me to just pick up and work harder, do more, and I was exhausted. Um, and so would any of anyone have known on the outside, Erin, like in your life, in your circle, that like any of this was really going on for you?

SPEAKER_01:

Uh no, probably not. I mean, maybe my kids and my husband would, you know, see overwhelm, um, or like, you know, mom needs to like have some time, or not that that's not okay, but um I mean, all the all the boxes were checked. Um, I was doing all the things. Um but there was especially at home, you it it wouldn't take much to scratch the surface, but um because yeah, oh mom's mom's overwhelmed. That's like that word, mom's overwhelmed, mom's overwhelmed. Um, you certainly wouldn't see it outside of my home, though. Yeah. All all signs pointed to um not overwhelmed, like just yeah, like we're handling it all. Yeah, we're handling it all.

SPEAKER_00:

And I think that's the case for most people. Like, so much of this is the in's going on inside. There's inner turmoil and inner like hyper management of everything. So when was like so one, Erin like dove into this, like like she just jumped into the deep end, like you you wholeheartedly jumped into this, even though you weren't seeking it. Um, and she just you started writing so much, like from the beginning. So we we write in an online platform in between, and Erin and I can connect over her journals and her writings and her worksheets, and you wrote a lot. Like, do you remember like your first glimmer of like something like you saw something for yourself?

SPEAKER_01:

Um I think it was, I mean, the guided questions in the online journal are really simple, but if you let it and you you really advise to take time with it. And if you do that, um they can they can really help you um kind of pull things out that you didn't know were there. But I feel like the glimmer where I started to notice, like, oh, there's there's more here that that uh I wasn't aware of um is your feedback, like your questioning, like you seeing my writing and noticing something that I couldn't see, um wasn't aware of. Um and that process of reflecting back and then answering the questions and um there's just a lot of like revealing, like you just don't know what you don't know. And um, I had never heard of a survival model. Um and I just I really wanted to believe that I could change some of the things in my life that had been happening my whole life and that I was a part of, right? It wasn't things happening to me, it was things that have I I I call them habits, but it's just you know, things that I've struggled with my entire life, regardless of the circumstances, the resources, or whatever. Um, you know, I really wanted to believe that those could be different. Um and noticing in the journals that something new was coming out, and um and that you you talk about micro movements and you were leading me to little things, so it was like also very doable. I wasn't adding to my like to-do list per se, or like another because something I always want to do is fix. And so it wasn't leading me to fix, it was actually leading me to just recognize and like look at it maybe differently, but not fix anything, which was a maybe more than a glimmer, but like it was like, oh, I can do that. I can I can look at something with a different lens, or I can I can notice the same thing from a different perspective, and you help it's just not something that I was gonna be able to do on my own. Um because I could lean on your perspective until I could kind of look at all the pieces and gather up my own. Um so definitely the journal reflection and kind of committing to that practice and committing to um answering your questions. Um that that was that was the huge, that was the shift.

SPEAKER_00:

There was such a journey that went on for you inside of like finding things that would like then free you up. So is there one like tangible piece of your survival model that you could share that was like a belief that you had held that we like shined light on and kind of broke open that then started to help you change your dance? Like, is there is there one story or belief that was um that you could share that would make it more tangible for someone listening? Um like one of your core, you know, like at the bottom of your model. So And only if you're comfortable.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh yeah. I I just uh I I guess my my main survival model is that I believe I'm a burden, that I'm not important and I don't deserve attention. Um and we kind of explored the unanswerable question, and mine mine is, am I doing this right? So those things unbeknownst to myself were kind of leading everything that I I was doing. So then when I encountered um, you know, something stressful or or urgent or difficult, um, you know, s other people around me are, you know, having a problem or struggling, you know, I I want to I want to fix that because I don't want, I I can't bring my anything of me to the table because I don't want to burden them and I'm not important enough and I don't deserve their attention. So I'm, you know, constantly trying to fix or address or adjust, um, which I don't know how to do that right away because I have to like quiet myself. So I get quiet in person. And then I hide, okay, hide, hide what you're thinking, Aaron, hide what you need, because we need to get out there and and fix what's fix what's going on so that eventually I could get back, address myself and find some peace. Um, but I didn't want to do that in any way that would burden somebody else. So it was this constant, like, you know, struggle to, you know, quiet myself, address everyone else, you know, kind of put myself on hold until I found the time to take care of myself. Well, the fact is that I'm never gonna find the time to take care of myself.

SPEAKER_00:

Um, but if it's hopeful, like you think you're going to, right? Like it's kind of a hopeful illusion that we all follow.

SPEAKER_01:

Right. And I'm doing good, right? I'm addressing and serving others, but but it was all kind of like under the wrong like umbrella, um, because people didn't always need me to fix them. And then I would be trying so hard to meet, and then I would get a little resentful, and then I would seek, you know, relief. Maybe that relief was um, you know, spending too much money or taking too much time away because I would need to kind of rest and recover myself, and then that I'm really letting somebody down when they need me. And it was just this really like vicious cycle that was all happening so quickly. It happened so fast and it was so automatic. I didn't, I didn't really perceive it until you know, you would be like, well, what's behind that reaction? Like, why are you doing that? Is there a story that's informing that? And, you know, I I I grew up, I guess this is, you know, part of the story. I just grew up in a single um parent household. And, you know, there's a lot going on in a single parent household that, you know, kids have to take on. And none of that's bad, but you don't want to add to any of the burden. And so um, I just didn't want to ever be a burden. So to survive and keep peace and and do well, and I I I learned that, you know, I don't want to be a burden. Um, and if I drew attention um or, you know, you know, created something that was important that reinforced this. Well, now you're burdening. Somebody else needs to do something for you, um, which is probably because I found other people's stuff burdening, right? Because I didn't know how to, I just didn't know how to process that. So I just that becomes something I tell myself and it just becomes automatic and you just carry it into your life. And then I was it just it becomes a part of the narrative in the back. It's subconscious, you don't even know it's happening. And so um I didn't I didn't know that I was functioning as like to just literally never be a burden to anybody. Yes.

SPEAKER_00:

And this is what it is. Like you can just hear in everything she just shared, like there's free, you know, there's a some something that happens when we're so young. It could be just the way we were born into the world. Like for me, some of it is just the dynamics of my family that caused me to feel separate and different and like a bother nuisance. I have that same thread that you do. And then that story in our little young mind, we decide, you know, what's true about us that we're a bother or a nuisance just because of our environment. And then we, without realizing it, we've uh a way to survive that gets constructed and it is made up of like all these behaviors, like Erin is talking about, that we we do to survive. Some of those are kind of debilitating for us and just keep producing unfulfilling results. And then there's also strengths that come out of our pain of that story, right? Like, what were some of your strengths that you discovered in that too? Like that that you did things to kind of overcome that, but those end up being your strengths.

SPEAKER_01:

Um, I think some of the strengths that came out of like in my family, I really knew when somebody needed something. Like I could, I could see, you know, maybe where they were struggling, or, you know, you know what, if I do this, it will really serve them. Like I have I have a keen awareness and like knowing what somebody needs to hear, or when they maybe need space, or how I can help them connect the dots to who they truly are, not just the circumstance or the urgency or the situation. Um all of like my like maybe my weaknesses or my survival model things do actually point to a strength that I have. And those do come out in my in my business and in my work. Um but doing those things like with my survival model, like fueling them, that's like what makes it really exhausting instead of I can just be in these these gifts. Um, you talk about the balcony or the basement of of your gifts, and a lot of striving happens when you have a gift and you're living in the basement of it, but you know it's like there, you you're aware of it, you know that you have this ability or this gift, but you're in the basement of it because your survival model is at play. And so you're striving to do it better, you're striving to do it better instead of just allowing it, your gift or your natural things to come, your survival model like stymies it. So if you can recognize your survival model and kind of it's never gonna go away, but you can recognize it, lower its power, and then like that's where the ease comes. So it's not like an ease that you're trying to place on top of it or just more recognize your gifts more. Yes. I don't know, the the awareness of knowing my survival model is I then I recognize when it's at play. And I can go, oh okay, oh, I see I see what I'm doing. And I can go, oh, I have a I've I've kind of rewritten this already. And I I can write my ship again. And the more you practice it, what I'm finding is I don't know what we're at now. Like it's it's been several weeks since we finished like our 12-week program. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Month or something. It's been I think it's even been longer than that.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Okay. And so I like now, so we stay in touch, and so now I'm in that like practice place and that integrating, and you get better at it. Like you, you're instead of your auto being your survival model, your your new thing, like your new way, your new auto is like comes into play quicker. Um, and before we got on, we were just talking about um a situation where it my auto response was like where I wanted it to be, and I didn't have to think about it. It's it just and you know, my whole day wasn't derailed, and and the relationships involved weren't derailed.

SPEAKER_00:

I was, it was just well, and it made a space for an apology, and like it didn't impact your relationship with your husband. Like there were so many dynamics there that like got freed up because you changed the dance just slightly. And Erin, I feel like you did that all through our journey together. Like you, and that's one of the most important pieces is like you start to see your survival model and you shine a light on it and you see it. And then, like she's saying, you you know start to notice it in action, and then you can just do something slightly different to change the course of that outcome, that conversation, that whatever. And you integrated, girl. Like you really, really, like after every call, you would go into your life and get on the cord of your life and play. And that's what it takes. Like, that's really what it takes. Um, is practice. And I'm still practicing too. Like, I don't think this ever, like you said, the survival model doesn't go away. We just get to set it down over and over and over again to actually create and live the life that we're designed to live because we can't do that inside of that model. It robs us of our joy, our peace, our everything. Is there one story that stands out from our time together that you could tell where you changed the dance and had a different outcome?

SPEAKER_01:

Um there's a there's a lot of them bubbling up for me, but I'll maybe share one that um can I can be more concise with. Yeah. Um it's and it's with my mom. Um there were a lot of times there, you know, there are a lot of times where um you know we're together or we're doing something, and I can get really frustrated with um her her style or you know, the way she's saying something to me. And none of it's wrong, none of it's bad. But you know, a lot of what I was carrying into those moments were um very, very old. Um you know, styles of interacting with one another. Um you know, lots of to-dos, lots of hurry, um, lots of pressure, lots of filling in, um just just kind of junk from you know childhood ways of of interacting where I had to be um very independent because I was in a single household and she worked all the time. And uh I was able to shift the dance just ever so slightly. And it wasn't calling her to do anything different. It was doing something different in myself. And I remember the first time this happened, we were standing outside of the car. She was coming by and she was dropping something off and everything she was doing was so kind and so generous. And I was irritated and frustrated because she wanted like a little bit more time than I thought I had. And it was silly because I had plenty of time to go out to the car and get the thing that she was dropping off. And I just like I just stopped and I laid down what kind of what I was always holding and it I just was like I'm just gonna be right here right now and I'm just gonna listen to her and she actually the I shifted by not having any urgency or expectation about what she should be doing and she slowed down she just slowed down and and she just shared what she wanted to share and I could thank her and I could give her a big hug and it was just like a sweet moment instead of a and I know there's not a lot of details that I'm sharing but the that slight shift you know my mother's much older now and it was like a precious moment in in something so simple. And and that that shift has created like a ripple effect and when and it's not me wanting her to do anything different. It actually has nothing to do with her it has everything to do with me and it has everything to do with me going none of that childhood stuff or relationship stuff exists now. We are well resourced we have plenty of time we're not running from something we're not hurrying towards something like none of that exists right now. And and through the course of working with you I could like name that that's what was happening all the time every time I was with her and it I I can confidently tell myself that doesn't exist anymore. And here I am enjoying her company and I'm moving slower with her and I'm actually getting more of her and less of her like opinion or judgment or direction or here's what she thinks she I should be doing because she's trying to like connect with me you know and I'm just like you know kind of like hurrying through the situation because I don't want the input and so wow I've just kind of been more calm and just listening she has been more calm and we're like connecting right now. And it's it's not been about her. Like you and I are never going to change our circumstances or we're not gonna change the people around us or how they act or what they do. But we can take we can take different mini steps micro movements as you call them to adjust our own perspective and even just the slightest movement can really shift what someone else does and we're not responsible for their shift because we still hold on to the different thing we did and we are different because of it. And I think that's that's been the most remarkable thing um working through your program for me is that my energy is greater and nothing has changed. Like nothing in my life has changed in fact like you know I'm doing more in my life I have some things got harder.

SPEAKER_00:

Some things have gotten harder I have more responsibility outside of you know my business but my energy and capacity is greater and and that that is the remarkable thing um I don't know if the thing is like the right right thing right to call it I don't know but I it's an shifts that has created that yeah it points to that we we look to our circumstances to make us feel better and we work so hard to try to change all these things out here so that we can feel better when actually what you're describing is that you're taking care of the way that you feel inside you're using your innate abilities to kind of change things a little bit here. And when you do that other people surprise you you make space like for love with your mom. My husband and I were just talking this morning about like love now like love only exists when you're present in the moment. Like we spend so much time trying to plan our lives so that we can have love but what you're describing is you're creating love right here by setting down that stuff. You made space for love and we all can do that whether you have a you know your survival model or not you can do that by just like Erin I feel like you modeled that all the way through coaching like where you would just like pause or make space instead of responding or reacting to your kids or your husband or whatever it was and like you came back to so many calls and like they surprised you you know or like the outcome surprised you and that's the beauty in being able to set down our own stuff. And then you created space for gosh like that moment with your mom.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay so I know um really quick I want you to speak to the writing because whether someone ever does coaching or not I know the writing has had a huge impact for you. Like you keep saying it even after we're done like you've continued to write and what is that doing for you?

SPEAKER_01:

Um writing so I have a morning writing practice I I um I have my quiet time and I journal sometimes it's longer than others but um writing there is so much demystifying that happens when you take your thought and write it down for me like I can't like type it um in which when you and I were working together you know I was doing both I was handwriting and typing oftentimes I was typing right from my journal into the prompts there's something about the physicality of writing um that untangles my thoughts and really like they lose their power you know all of a sudden black and your white black and white and you're kind of like that's silly or they feel so scary when they're inside yeah because they're they're mixed up with so many other things and um I mean sometimes my journal prompt would like just be like I don't know what to write right now. I I and then I would just be like well how do I actually feel do I feel excited am I am I like feeling burdened am I overwhelmed like okay I'm overwhelmed. Why am I feeling overwhelmed? Well I my to-do list is very long today like what what's important on my to-do list like why am I allowing that and just sometimes I would write prayers some I just dumping things out and sometimes I put my to-do list in my journal because not having it in my calendar for me like just it just was a different perspective putting it in my journal and I could just be like huh okay there's this much more spaciousness around it like does all that have to get done today you know is that the most important thing um so writing has been a way of untangling like prioritizing and also just being like that's actually not even important like like that's maybe not even truth like I'm thinking that or that's a thought but that's not even um and I can leave it like I can leave it there um and move move on with my day. Um I also keep my survival model pretty close.

SPEAKER_00:

I remind myself what it is um because for me being more sensitized to what it is I notice it better when it's coming um and that's just you know when I start to get like anxious inside uh I gotta I can kind of shift and say oh what's happening right now okay I can that's what's happening right now and I can eat much more easily like disassociate with it and yeah yeah I love that so okay so tie this back to your work because I think you said something about like understanding kind of your identity more has also kind of um fallen into like the work you do. And so share share what that has looked like as we kind of wrap start to wrap up our conversation um I think I can probably summarize it in like one word I wow confidence.

SPEAKER_01:

And it's not like a confidence where I'm on the end looking back going no Aaron you have confidence like be confident be confident it's more confidence that's coming from like inside outward um and my work is the the the way the work is designed hasn't changed it's the way I'm showing up in it in a in a confidence and knowing that the giftings and the natural and the experience and the you know I've been doing this stuff for so long like all of that stuff exists but I'm showing up in it knowing that this is right and this is good and God led me here. I I'm not wasting time and energy second guessing it and comparing it to somebody else's brand work. I mean there's a million brand and marketing people out there but there's only one me doing it the way I do it. And I don't need everybody to be my client. I just need to serve the people that I'm meant to serve. And if I am more confident in showing up then those people can find me. And so the the shift for me in my work has just been a better knowing and a confidence that um that this is I I'm here and I have this and that my gifts are showing up in this way and that that's right and that that's good and I don't need to waste time second guessing it or comparing myself to anybody else.

SPEAKER_00:

I can confidently show up in what God's led me to build and um yeah that's yeah and serve people in a bigger way because all that stuff isn't in the way for you. You know and our our our greatest pain and stuff that shows up in that our survival model you know like I've always believed that like our greatest gift comes from our greatest pain and like you can see that inside of your work like you described your ability to hear people and see people and extract their words and like all of that I think was highlighted and like you get to go shine shine that light even brighter you know because of looking at the wounding and the pain that we all travel with um it was so beautiful to watch you do that and to see the work that you're doing in the world um and see that like that like kind of all of it come together in a um beautiful like tapestry right of all the things like all those hard parts of our lives are not like all bad it's all whoa God why weaves it all together right I think serve like serve bigger I think that's something else that has come out of this work as it as it relates to my business that um you know I'm I'm keeping going I'm doing a lot of the same things but there's a different openness to what God has with this work and not just within like what I'm planning for and what my goals are.

SPEAKER_01:

There's a different openness um and and really probably a belief um that there's more there was more in this program that I walked through with you I didn't I kind of had come in with like I'm me you know I'm me this is this is our work um and then God showed me there was so much more and I'm kind of like wow wow you know and I think I'm seeing that same thing in in the openness that I have with my work and and you know the communities and the connections and the networking that that is being revealed to me um and having having confidence in and holding loosely and trusting and um it's just it's just super cool. It's just really exciting to have you know keep doing what you're doing but have this like openness um that there's more because I just experienced more with you with my own self.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, yes, yes. And then you can hold more space for other people when you've kind of held space for yourself. And I think that was one of the big pieces of our journey was that you were making space for yourself. And people sometimes think that that's like selfish but like look at what understanding that and wrapping your arms around that and making space to understand what was going on inside of you allows you to then set that down and hold spay bigger space and be more generous and give and serve and use your gifts. Wow okay um so if you're listening and maybe you want to know your survival model or um maybe you're just inspired by something that was said today like I just want to encourage you to like follow that nudge um and it um there's so much freedom outside of this old model. And I just want to share a quick story. When I first started coaching I um I sensed that people were trying to escape something they were wanting to leave a marriage or leave a job or move to a new city or make some big change and I started to sense that there was something else that they were trying to escape. And this is how I discovered the survival model like all those years ago and I would I ask somebody like can we just pause how urgent are those changes like can we just pause them for a moment and let's look at this and that's what we would do. And I can't tell you how often people came in thinking they needed to leave a marriage or a job and really like Erin said they didn't need to change the circumstance at all. They just needed to reexamine what was running them and driving them and causing them to react and defend and survive and that can give you so much freedom. So reach out if you would like to explore what that would look like for you and Erin before we go um just share how can people find out more about the incredible work that you're doing.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you. Well what you said makes me want to just say one more thing about this your program is 12 weeks my program is 12 weeks you know those those were designed far before we met one another and I think sometimes people look at something and they're like 12 weeks like seriously like how could I possibly find time for that this world wants us to you know achieve things quickly and just follow the system or do the thing and I just don't believe that that sort of change happens like real change happens quickly and you know towards both both of our work there's something there's like an untangling and a muscle building that happens and it only happens over time. And um when you work with me we have a we spend 12 weeks together and you know I lead you just like in your program I lead you through kind of my own methodology to you know what I call building your brand um and out of that work we decide how are you going to best market or share what it is that you're doing with the people that need to hear from you. So that's kind of what happens you know we create a guide and we create a plan for like kind of some of the standard things but what's in those is far different. And what happens over 12 weeks is you can walk away with from me and you have the muscles like you have built strength um to like do your business differently talk about it more succinctly with clarity that feels not like clarity I gave you but clarity like you uncovered yourself. And so it's just seated differently like the work that you're doing the work that it's seated differently inside of you and and it grows over time and you do have to keep practicing it. It's kind of like you say it's living and doing differently and um so I think a lot of businesses have have what they consider a brand or maybe you don't and you feel like um I'm doing okay but if something here has sparked like but I know I could do more I know that like there's pieces I'm missing like I would just encourage you to like reach out to me. Email me join my email newsletter I I put out a weekly newsletter. A lot of it's personal or you know kind of stories um but it's also it's also some brand and marketing stuff kind of mixed in there as well but it's really to me a place to get to know me so you can see like can you learn from my story or any of my situations but also like get to know me. So you do you ever want to work with me? Like get to know me I'm okay with you you doing that before saying yes. But and I love I love writing um whether it's I guess in my journal or in my my newsletter but um I also have my whole 12 week program um in a course that you can do yourself if you don't want to work directly with me. All my same stuff is breathed into it. It's actually the same workbooks that we do like together in you know my live version but um my course is available.

SPEAKER_00:

So yeah those are the well and your emails are so good and you have such an ability to be yourself in your emails that like literally be like reading your emails helps me be more of myself in what I write and um so get on her email list and set up a call.

SPEAKER_01:

You do a call right to kind of explore yeah we can like talk for 15 30 minutes whatever and we can talk about like is this the next best move for you um or or is it something else?

SPEAKER_00:

So yeah and what I've loved about working with you is that you're not like giving me strat like you give me tools but you're not saying you have to do things this way or it has to look that way. Like Erin is so brilliant at extracting you and then helping you shape you into like your the way you're gonna approach writing or an email or a marketing um initiative like you're so brilliant at that so if you're looking for someone who is really going to get you and understand you and understand your business and then support you Aaron is your gal. I mean you're so good at that you're so good at that. So your website did you give your website um it's just matchboxwomen.com okay yay okay oh my gosh Aaron thank you so much for really for being so open and letting people peek inside your journey to see if it's something for them I'm so grateful for you friend thank you thank you this has been wonderful and working with you has has changed my life I'm so grateful our paths have crossed okay until next time thank you for tuning in to this episode of differently hey if you're ready to stop circling the same thoughts and start creating real momentum check out my coaching experiences. There's a 12 week experience for a big shift or there's a monthly writing and coaching partnership for ongoing clarity, creativity, alignment and momentum. You can find all the details at CarlaReeves.com and if you enjoyed this episode please help me grow the podcast and leave a five-star review on Apple Podcasts and share it with someone you love. Until next time stop surviving your life start creating it