Navigating Change: Lead Your Mind First

Change has a way of filling our minds with noise, uncertainty, and endless questions. But what if the most important work isn't figuring everything out -it's learning to lead your mind through the transition?

In this episode, we will explore why writing has been an anchor for more than 20 years and how a simple three-step writing practice can help you calm the mental chaos, gain fresh perspective, and take your next step with intention.

If you're navigating a life transition, feeling overwhelmed, or simply craving more clarity, grab a notebook and join the conversation.

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Transcript

A Deep Change Starts Within

SPEAKER_00 0:00

A deep change in the way that we live requires a deep change in the way that we think. I'm Carla Reeves, and this is Differently. Welcome to Differently. If you are new around here, this podcast is really designed for people who want to stop living by default and start living by design. That's been my journey. I lived half my life at the mercy of my circumstances, feeling powerless. And the second half, really learning and living, focusing on the things that we can control to change our life. We believe here that a deep change in the way that you live begins with a deep change in the way that you think. And every week I show up here to share stories, perspectives, things I'm navigating, writing practices that can help us to navigate life a little bit differently and more on purpose.

Life Shifts And New Seasons

SPEAKER_00 0:58

So I want you to think about the last two years of your life and the change that you have navigated. The last two years of my life, we've experienced a lot of change. Our boys are now young adults forging their own paths. They're not in our home any longer. We moved from our 25-year-old home into a new community. Our marriage is in a new chapter. It's back to being just he and I. My business has changed in this new chapter. I have more abundance of time. And I've been unwinding old productivity cycles that were not healthy for a long time and making sure that I don't fall back into those routines. Not to mention the change of menopause and all the changes inside and in between these things, there's more loads of change. No wonder, as I'm sharing this with you, no wonder I have needed extra quiet time and time to process all the things and all the emotion that comes with change. In this quiet time and prayer time, I've been reminded and re-energized by the message that has always been on my heart to share, which is what I said when we first started a deep change in the way that you live requires a deep change in the way that you think.

Why Thought Life Matters

SPEAKER_00 2:23

So here's what I'm seeing today. Your thought life matters whether you are adjusting to change that has occurred in your life that was outside of your control, or whether you want to create change in your life. When I was 28, I wanted to create change in my life. I knew there had to be something else possible. I was checking all the boxes that had led to a happy, what I thought led to a happy, successful life. And those boxes were checked, but I felt empty inside. And at that time, I had to examine my thinking and uproot the thoughts that were driving behaviors and outdated patterns that were all formed out of things I decided that were true about me and how life works and what I'm capable of. Those decisions I made were at age six, nine, twelve, or eighteen. And I had to break free of that, those survival patterns in order to create some new path in my life, new outcomes in my life. And today I'm reminded that it's equally important to examine your thought life when you're navigating significant change.

Parenting Grown Kids Differently

SPEAKER_00 3:38

Let me just give you an example. So one area of change in my life I've mentioned is parenting. My role as a parent, my role as a mother, our role as parents, my husband and I has changed. It doesn't look like it once did. My motherly instincts want to jump in and help and over-communicate and over-mother or step in and rescue. And that is not what my boys always need in order to grow up and be independent and forge their own path. This past week I took a little road trip and I was listening to a podcast because I was wanting some inspiration and help on this very thing. And the podcast I was listening to was sharing that as our kids grow, our job descriptions as a parent, my job description as a mom, my role in the home, the daily rhythms, the way I be in relationship with them has to change. And that was so helpful to just have it uh labeled that way as a job description, like, oh wow, yes, our job description from zero to 18 is to keep them safe, to help them grow, to make sure they don't get into trouble, to guide them and mother them and hold them and protect them and all the things. And that job description is very different today. And so I'm in the process of rewriting what that looks like so that I can step into a more evolved role as a parent and create a relationship that is fruitful and lasting with our grown sons.

Writing To Process And Rewrite Stories

SPEAKER_00 5:19

And I want to remind you of the role that writing can play when we're rewriting the thoughts and the stories that we tell ourselves, those thoughts that reoccur day by day by day, right, can keep us stuck in the past or stuck in old feelings or feeling sad because things aren't what they used to be. And while it's important to feel all that, I don't want to linger there for too long. I want to move on so that I don't miss the relationships and the things that we can be creating today. And writing is such a crucial part of that process for me. And I want to invite you to look at how writing can support you in getting out those emotions, getting out the feelings, getting out what's happening in your life and have a space to process it, not perfectly, but just a place to express it and work through it and try on new thoughts and dream about what's to come instead of looking in the rearview mirror. And that's what I've been using writing for as I walk through this season of change in parenting. So, friend,

Three Journal Questions To Upgrade Thinking

SPEAKER_00 6:29

where are you? Are you in a chapter where you're you need to get out of survival that you've maybe haven't done that work to get out of survival and things from your past or your childhood are still dictating your feelings and experiences and patterns today? Or are you like me and you're going through some change that you didn't necessarily have control over, and that you want to make a shift for yourself inside of this change and upgrade your thinking so that you can continue to build and be on purpose and create this life and not miss the beautiful moments that are happening around you? So I have a few questions for you to take into your notebook. The first one is, where have your thoughts been focused on lately? And be really honest with yourself. Number two is how are these thoughts impacting the way you feel and move through your day? And the last question is, where do your thoughts need an upgrade? Because, friend, oftentimes we're thinking through an old operating system and it needs an upgrade.

Journal And Free Class Invitation

SPEAKER_00 7:42

If you haven't already grabbed a copy of your differently journal, there's a link in the show notes where I walk you through and guide you through similar writing experiences that help you move your life forward pen to paper and be on the lookout for the next free class. Go, you can go to Carlareeves.com and check out the next free class. I would love to have you come write with us. Remember, you may not be able to change your circumstances, but you can change how you think about them. And when you do that, you leave room for miracles. Hey, thanks for listening all the way to the end. Before you move on with your day, pause and capture one thought or takeaway that stood out to you. Write it down so it doesn't get lost in the noise. And if you're ready to go deeper, come join me in my free monthly class conversation and guided writing to help you see things differently and move forward with clarity. Save your spot, carlareeves.com forward slash free class.