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What Game Are You Playing with Bob Parsons

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We're all playing a game in life, whether we realize it or not.

In this conversation, I sit down with executive coach and good friend Bob Parsons to explore the shift from living in survival mode to living with intention. Together they talk about the stories that once shaped their lives, the games they're choosing to play today, and how slowing down, serving others, and aligning with God's design has changed everything.

If you've been feeling stuck on autopilot or wondering if there's another way to live, this conversation will leave you with fresh perspective and a question worth carrying into your week:

What game are you playing?

Bob's Previous Episodes:
Choosing Freedom in the Face of Fear
Faith Journeys

Connect with Bob

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A Deep Change Starts In Thought

SPEAKER_01

A deep change in the way that we live requires a deep change in the way that we think. I'm Carla Reeves, and this is Differently. Hey there, welcome back to Differently. We talk a lot on this podcast about getting out of default survival mode and living by design. And this week I've invited a former client and now friend and colleague to have a conversation about this very thing. It was um, gosh, over two years ago that I think we started working together, Bob. Um but and today we're just three and a half. Three and a half. Oh my gosh. Okay, so it's been three and a half. And when you get out of survival is when you can really start to live by design and create a game worth playing in this life. And so I've been watching Bob, like just I told him earlier, like just really fly in his life. And it's been so cool to watch. And I just wanted to bring him back to have him share what's going on now in his life. And so welcome back to the show, Bob.

SPEAKER_00

I feel so honored that this is the third time, I think, right?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, I'm feeling very, very proud. You're like a regular.

SPEAKER_01

Um, so speaking of that, you can go back to November 9th, of 23, um, where Bob talks about choosing freedom in the face of fear. And that was right after we had worked together, I believe. And then he came back on in November 13th of 2025, and he and I both shared our faith journeys at that time. So we're excited to have a conversation today. And yeah, welcome, Bob.

SPEAKER_00

So our second coaching call was February 1st of 2023.

SPEAKER_01

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00

It's been fun. Two replies. Yeah, it's wild.

SPEAKER_01

And so Bob also helped me start a mastermind that we're still doing, which has been really fun too. So bring us a little up to speed with where you

Bob’s Update From Corporate To Coach

SPEAKER_01

are now for people who maybe haven't gone back and listened yet.

SPEAKER_00

Four years, July 6th, four years I've been on my own, which just blows me away. Uh when you and I started coaching, I just kept saying to myself, it's gonna fall apart. It ain't gonna happen. There's just no way. But meaning what fall apart? That I just didn't believe it was gonna happen. You know, inside it was leaving the getting corporate and being on my own. I thought, yeah, you know, um, it's gonna be such a flop. I know I said this a couple of times, maybe in my head, it's gonna be such a flop that I'm gonna end up back in corporate and I don't want to do that. So, but you helped me a ton with my mindset.

SPEAKER_01

So I remember telling you, like, you're never gonna have any trouble getting business. And I keep watching you, and I'm like, that was right.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, you were you were pretty, pretty right on. Um, so that my wife and I are gonna be celebrating um 44 years this year, 45 next year. She's my collegehood, I don't know, college sweetheart. I met in my second year of school. So um, and we have all that, yes, it is. It's been wild that we've known each other because 44 and then three, we dated, so we've known each other 47 years.

SPEAKER_01

Wow, like you don't remember really life before her, right?

SPEAKER_00

Like in a lot of ways, I've known her longer than I've known anybody in my whole life, except for one person. I've known Al Zimmerman for 41 years, and uh she's 47.

SPEAKER_01

So wow, congratulations. That is a huge um, huge accomplishment and celebration. And yeah, we'll get more into that.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and I just love my work. I I've always said, do not go to a work or to a place where you're not loving at least 70% or of your work, right? Because some most of the 30% you can put up, you have to put up with. Um, but when I got to you, I I didn't want to put up with 30. I didn't even want 10.

SPEAKER_01

I love that. Right?

SPEAKER_00

Because I had learned, I've learned. So I'm in a career that I absolutely love. I'm an executive coach, team coach. I do a variety of keynotes and workshops and one-on-one executive coaching. I've got five business partners who help me find me work, and I'm just really blessed. And uh, it's my my I think in the one of the podcasts I said it was my two fish and my five loaves. And I just said, Okay, Lord, here we go.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I love that. Right. We don't that's that's all we're required to bring to the game. Yeah, I love that so much. So tell us about the turning point um that really shifted that direction or that

Faith And Marriage As The Foundation

SPEAKER_01

shift for you. Yeah. Because I think we can all relate to those turning points, right? Where we realize like something's gotta give.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Well, my my life has pretty much been a mess since until I met my wife and Jesus. Pretty much. And where do you hear my game? When you asked me the question about what what game are you playing? I've got a game title for the games I've been playing. But um, I would say meeting meeting Christ. Yet when I when I accepted him, I had no nobody. Nobody could come around me. Well, nobody could mentor me. I didn't have anyone who could kind of disciple me. And so I really floundered. And I, you know, I went back into high school and I was like, everybody acted the same, and no, there was no change. And so I thought, well, why should I go along with it? And then I had a lot of just a lot of difficulty. And I drank a lot in high school, you know, beginning in ninth grade, um, and didn't really stop until I met I set the second most important um spot in my life, which was meeting Pam. And it was the first time I'd ever met a true believer who was honest. Somebody who just was honest with respect and honor. And that just flipped my whole and just it aligned with who I was wanting to be. I just I looked at what did I start doing? I started losing weight. I started running every day. I was like 25 pounds overweight from all the drinking I'd done the year before. And um then I I just ran every day for like three months. I lost dropped 25 pounds because number one, I had this woman who's got a keeper. I gotta keep her. And uh I thought I started losing my hair. I said, Well, look, I can't control my baldness, but I can control being fat. So um, so I had to, and then I I just started eating better. But anyway, the thing that really turned me around with her was she was the first time I'd seen a believer who lives what she believes. Now she would tell you, she goes, Well, I wasn't really uh a walking Christian too. I said, Well, compared to where I was.

SPEAKER_01

She was down the road. She was.

SPEAKER_00

Right? And that's a whole cool that's a cool, cool God story. So that was the second thing I think that really and then when I got married, I think the other thing was Pam and I had a discussion that we didn't want to do things by the seat of our pants. We had both seen friends, friends, parents, we've seen some of that in our own family, uh, just kind of running by the day-to-day and making stuff up. And we said, when we get married, when we have kids, we want to do things on purpose. And I remember that conversation. And that's kind of like the rest of the story. And that's what's really changed, being intentional about my faith, my being a dad, being a husband, being a father, um, being a friend, being a colleague, being a a leader, a manager, a contributor in the business. All of that was that those pieces were the foundation. Uh, my faith and my my uh marriage were the foundations of who I am, uh, you know, the build of who I am today.

SPEAKER_01

That is so beautiful. And it like as you're saying that, I'm like, oh, no wonder we connected so well and became friends because we share those values. And when you talk about, you know, living by design, you can talk about that in a number of ways. But what God's been revealing to me over the years is that ultimately, ultimately, it's living by God's design, which I've been reminding myself that if I'm putting my God first and then my marriage and then everything else, I'm winning. Like if I'm just doing that, yeah, and then everything else seems to fall into line, right? It's when we get. So when when you and I first started working together, you were in a little bit of like autopilot thinking, like you were just describing, like, you know, this won't work, it's gonna fall apart or whatever. What became the shift for you to go from that to like now, like I really see you just you're always generating and leading and creating and designing. I don't remember I think the shift we all want.

SPEAKER_00

I don't know if you remember this, but I think I remember you saying some. This was the essence of what you said to me at like in our third meeting as you are my coach. Um you said, no, okay, Bob, let me just repeat back what I've heard you say. You said you've been laid off now for three times, and you you're getting pushed out and could be laid off for the fourth time. Um, your biggest fear is uh getting laid off. And you want to go back into that environment. Exactly. When you when I when you said that, when you said that, repeated that back to me, I I laughed at myself. I went, that is absolutely ridiculous. No. But then but then the fear kicked in, right? So the fear of that means only one alternative, which means I'd have to go on my own, which is what everybody had been telling me for 10 years. But I didn't, I just didn't listen. And you know, frankly, I wasn't ready. Yeah. So I think that was the kicker. And now let me precede that because it re- you what you said reinforced what everybody else had been saying. My wife had been saying for two years. In fact, she said two or three years before, she said, just quit. Just quit and we'll figure it out. And me being the control freak that I am, uh I was, I'm less of a control freak, um, is that I said, I gotta have a plan, honey, I I gotta have something, I gotta have, I gotta do something, I gotta purposefully be in something to figure this out so I can see the end game or say at least have some hope.

The Mindset Shift That Breaks Fear

SPEAKER_00

So that that was really the the and I didn't realize what I was in until I got out. Yeah. And once I got out, it was like a big breath of fresh air on the mountaintop because I got a sense of what it feels like, and I look back and I go, and this is what some of our clients deal with, right? Carla, which is you can't see the force for the trees, you can't see the muck until you pull yourself completely out of it.

SPEAKER_01

It's so true. It's so true. And like just the value of coaching, right, in this work, and like we need coaches too. Like Bob coaches me many times. Like, it's like you just can't see what you can't see.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and that's what a coach does. A coach having a thought partner, yeah. A thought partner, it mirrors, it helps you, it gives you a perspective outside of your own soul. You're stepping out of your body. I don't know if you remember Spider-Man. There was a scene in there where um one of the characters pushes on Spider-Man and the and Peter Parker comes out of the Spider-Man body.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, I love it. And he goes, Wow, this is cool. That's so cool. All right. Well, that leads us right into the question of like, what game are you playing? So when you get out of survival mentality, you know, we're all playing a game. And we may not realize that we're playing a game, but we're all playing some sort of game. And it gets really cool when you start to think about what game do I want to be playing and intentionally play that. And so, what does that look like for you today?

SPEAKER_00

Say, can I I'm gonna give you a plug? And this is not this, I just want the audience to know this was not a paid advertisement. But I've told many, many, many people who have asked me that question what was the trigger, what was the help, what spurred you forward is that you you helped slow my brain down. For those of you who've, whether you're introvert or extrovert, your brains are racing at 100 miles an hour, and you you don't even have time to think about your next step or what you're gonna do in the future. We're too we're too busy putting out fighters, taking care of today. And what you help and what Carla can help you do as a coach for a very reasonable price, I might say, is that it she helps you with these questions slow down your brain to step back and really have quiet reflection. And that was that was a gift to me.

SPEAKER_01

I'm so glad. So I've been hearing so many people say lately, like, I can't shut my brain off. And it's a real thing. Like, we have to learn how to do this. Yeah to slow the brain down. You used to say something about mental traffic. What was your line about that?

SPEAKER_00

Mind traffic. Mind traffic. I I have I'm a little bit harsher sometimes. I say I got mind garbage because that's what it's like. It's like all this stuff that I just dumped into a canister, and I'm trying, then I forget the receipt that I was needed for, and I gotta dig back into the garbage and trans stupid analogy. But anyway, so I just want to give you a plug on that.

SPEAKER_01

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00

But here's the games I had. You ready? And I want to hear your games too. So mine early, I'll do let's do early on first, was called I call it Truth or Consequences.

SPEAKER_01

My son was just in truth or consequences. That's uh in New Mexico, literally this last week, Bob. That's and I'm like, what a cool name.

SPEAKER_00

It is because did I want to ever face the truth? No, I was a liar for the first 20 years of my life. I just lied about everything. I never told the truth anything. Um, and if wow, and if there's two of the young ladies who I took the prom at the same night are still on here, I didn't say sorry to to two to one of you. So my apologies. So so that's what

Naming The Games We Play

SPEAKER_00

I felt like that was, and then and and I hold on.

SPEAKER_01

Let me share, let me share my early winners. Well, ping pong. Um, so I didn't plan for this, but I'm just gonna do this impromptu. Um so early on in life, it was it was check the boxes that make up a happy, successful life. A lie. It was all a lie, but I played that game very hard for half of my life.

SPEAKER_00

And then you checked all the boxes, and it was empty inside. There you go, right? Yeah, that's exactly the other thing is let's make a deal. Like, yeah, look, Lord, let's make a deal. I'll be really good if and it this didn't that too didn't work out. That's kind of like check the box.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, right?

SPEAKER_00

Totally. Any others that come to mind about uh games that you were well, what was your next one? Okay, so so the so the next one is what am I playing today? Do you want me to answer that one? Because those are the two games I was playing earlier.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I really think it was a game. Um, I want to give a good plug for a great book, Scary Close by Donald Miller.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, I read that. You recommended that to me, and that was so good.

SPEAKER_00

I'm still I'm still chewing on the last couple chapters. It's if you want to talk about being authentic self, he describes it to a T what we all go through. About being authentic and not. Yes, you do.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, so good.

SPEAKER_00

It's it's like a juicy steak. Eat a couple pieces at a time and enjoy it.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, I thought of one more earlier game.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

It was like be liked. That was it.

SPEAKER_00

You mentioned that a few times on some of our calls.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, okay. So, what was your next?

SPEAKER_00

But see, this is a great question for all of our listeners.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, what were your early games? Yep. Yeah, I love that.

SPEAKER_00

Are you winning? Yeah, yeah, how's it going? Yep. Yeah, how's it going with that? Okay, intentionally playing today now. Whose life is it anyway? I I it's like it's not my life. It's the Lord created, the Lord gave, filled, put, blessed me with different diff skills differing from others, and I chose to use what he's given me and access, what he's offered me. So it's not, it really isn't my life. I mean, anybody who says that my life is my life is just that's another game. It's just another game, and you don't win, and you don't, there's no, there's no peace in it.

unknown

Right?

SPEAKER_01

That's so true. I literally wrote on a sticky note like a week or two ago, um, you know, this life is not about me.

SPEAKER_00

Yep, yep.

SPEAKER_01

And and you mentioned like using your gifts and strength, like we're created with gifts and strengths. And I also read recently that our strengths are for others. That's right. And I just love that so much. Of course they are.

SPEAKER_00

They are, absolutely, you know, and um I love that you know it's um uh what was that? I was gonna say mindset. So there's another one, mindset matters. You know, if you look in the scriptures, they're also about it's all about transformation of the mind.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, Romans 12, too.

SPEAKER_00

Right? And in coaching we say it is about the mindset because if the mind is there, the heart follows. But sometimes it's not, and we just have to do first to see the reaction of changing our behavior so that our heart and mind changes and comes along with. So it's about mind mindset matters. How about you?

SPEAKER_01

But that was like another another game.

SPEAKER_00

Another game that I'm playing intentionally, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, well, I, you know, I was married and divorced, um, married at 23, divorced at 28, thankfully, no kids. And so when I met my husband today, we kind we like wanted to create an ex extraordinary marriage. And meaning that we just we just wanted to push the limits of like what was possible inside of marriage, and we still are today, like we're still playing that game. Um and I think too, another game is just like squeezing the juice out of this life. I just want to squeeze all the juice, yep, yep. And like go all in, and so that's definitely another game.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, because we don't know, we really don't know if we have time. Right. And God gives us one chance, one opportunity here. Um so I think that's really cool. So I was gonna ask you a question, a question came to my mind. So you said uh you didn't use intentional, what was the word you used? We wanted extraordinary marriage, right? So, what's what do you think is a couple things you've done to get there, to move towards that goal?

SPEAKER_01

I think one that's kind of always been there from the start is communication. Like we just we talk about everything. Um and I think what happened, like in my former marriage, and I see people struggle with, and you probably do too, you're in marriage ministry, but um, is that you know, when you first meet and you just you talk about everything and you share everything, and then somehow that starts to slip away if you're not careful. And that's what happened. And then, and then there just creates more and more separation in the marriage, right? Um, and so we from the get-go, we just never stopped talking about everything. Um, and that has created so much intimacy in our marriage. Um, but the other, the most important thing, and this has been more in the last 15 years,

Building An Extraordinary Marriage On Purpose

SPEAKER_01

is bringing our marriage into God's design and and discovering the fruits of what he made marriage for. Like, wow, we saw something recently that was like marriage, God designed marriage to bring us together to be this. You know how they talk about like power couples, but it's like a power force for the kingdom of light.

SPEAKER_00

It is, yep.

SPEAKER_01

And like how beautiful that is.

SPEAKER_00

Amen. That you know what? There's a podcast where he goes, convince me if I'm wrong. And I would say, convince me if I'm wrong about that. I think that marriage, a strong, godly, god centered marriage is the power most powerful witness, a testimony of Christ's love out of anything else, any other relationship.

unknown

Right?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and I think the biggest discovery is what the lie has been in this world about marriage and sex and all the things. Like it's such a lie and counterfeit of What God designed. And so if you're listening, like go dig in and search to find out what God's design really was, because I can't imagine anybody who doesn't want that. Like it, it when we're in God's design, it fuels everything in our life. It fuels our family. It creates a solid base for our kids to come back in and through. Yeah. So powerful.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I've heard we've heard couples saying, well, there's no guidebook for marriage.

SPEAKER_01

There is.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, there actually is. And it's got a lot in it. It's got a lot in it.

SPEAKER_01

It's true.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

It's so true. Um, okay. So you and your wife have been kind of on this more adventurous journey, like with your flexibility and freedom now in your career or your, you know, your business that you've created, you guys have been doing some cool things. So I would love for you to share like what that has been looking like because it's inspired me to do some cool things.

SPEAKER_00

That's cool. So I remember way back, we just we loved going on vacation, but there was something missing. And we we found out little bits of what we loved. Like we went on a um, the first thing we did was a family missions cruise. I mean, think about that. I don't even know why. All my kids, all my kids, and we we we we've been on mission trips together, and we went on this really cool one. We went to the first one, it was like to the East Coast uh in the foothills of um West Virginia. West Virginia, which by the way, there's a city, Parsons, West Virginia, which was awesome. We got to go there and I took pictures of that. Here's the Parsons.

SPEAKER_01

We drove through West Virginia not too long ago. It was so beautiful.

SPEAKER_00

So you look up Parsons.

SPEAKER_01

But anyway, so cool.

SPEAKER_00

So we went on mission. We just built decks for people who didn't have a whole lot of money out in the out in the hills and um shared Christ. And then we went on this missions cruise where you know you go on, we were only like, I think maybe 40 or 50 of us out of the entire cruise. Well, while they were going ashore to go party, we were going to uh dig trenches, we were going to fill rocks for orphanages. We were gonna go, we went and ministered in men's and women's prisons. We'd split up and the women would go to the women's uh and we'd go to the men's, the jails or the prisons, and we'd just this guy is um Don Shire. Don Shire was a tr is a trumpet player, and he would just just for example, he'd go out in the the prisons and would say, Well, we can't have you proselytizing, but you can play your trumpet. So he'd at a certain time he started playing this trumpet, and then men who were attracted to it came to the sanctuary, to this area, and then we got we got to preach, and then we got to pray for these guys and share the gospel. Wow, right?

SPEAKER_01

And so it was a cool thing.

SPEAKER_00

And my kids were involved with that. We were all together, you know. They stood, and then some of my kids were doing the puppet thing where they'd go and do um some cool stuff with um like uh a Sunday school or something like that. So it was all us together. And then we come back on the boat and we just debrief on what was going on. What had happened, what was your experience like? What was what are some miracles that you encountered? Uh, who did you get a chance to minister to? You know, we got to play a little bit, and that was great. You know, we got like a couple days before and a couple days after the cruise because it was on the way out and all the way back. But man, it was just like said, we got to do more of this. Wow. Right. And so that always kind of led Pam and I to do some stuff, and we always said, when we when we get out of work a little bit, we want to just go on the road and serve. Let's make our vacations. And so, you know, we've been driving to Florida back and forth for the last five years, and finally we said, let's be really intentional this year. So we've done it a little bit in in bits and pieces on some of our previous roads, but this one was just like full on. So we I I baked eight loaves of lemon bread, my famous lemon bread. My wife and I, my wife bought like 18, 32-ounce jars of pure maple syrup from this farm that's local. That the syrup is phenomenal. And what we said is let's figure out who we can go minister to visit, who would love to have us around and just kind of love on them, and we'll give gifts and we'll pray with them and whatever. And we that's what we did. We drove out to North Carolina and we saw Pam's brother and their family, and we got to see all the grandkids and the kids. It was amazing. Like we didn't even think we we thought, well, if we can see Ron and Ron and here, his wife, that would be great. But then we got to see his kids, and it was amazing. We get to just spend some time and fellowship over meals and give them gifts. And then um, we drove down the coast and saw a friend who's been just had a rough, tough life, just a hard life, and now she's by herself, and so we said, let's we just love her. We haven't seen her, let's go, let's go watch and just kind of help her out. So we got there and we helped her out a little bit with some furniture stuff and cleaning up, and then we just had she made us dinner, and we slept over there and was just and we got to pray with her. We got to pray with her, pray with her. That was like less than 24 hours, Carla. We had with her. I mean, we we got to go see Charleston together, we had dinner together. It was just amazing. Then we drove a little bit further down because we had called our former junior high pastor, and he had left like uh seven, seven years ago, and he was our junior high pastor for 13 years. I mean, think about junior high pastor. Most junior high pastors last two or three. Yeah, this is the reality loves junior high.

Turning Travel Into Love And Service

SPEAKER_00

He loved on those kids. And so they said, they said to us, and we bought him bread, we brought him, and the kids, by the way, they devoured like like one of the breads. We gave them two because one of the kids, two of the kids devoured. Um and then they said, Well, you know, I know we had our kids' program tonight. We'll just go and you guys can hang out here. And I said, Well, we want to go. They go, You do? I said, Yeah. And we went, it was awesome. It was so much fun. And uh these it was like, I think 10-year-olds. 10-year-olds, and she and at the end, they both said to us, I can't believe that you went way out of your way. Because we did, you know, we were going to Florida, getting it from Minnesota. So, but we loved it. We just we got to pray with them, we got to have break bread with them. It was just amazing. And then we drove down to Florida, right, and got to where we were staying. Then we went and stayed with a couple friends that we've been friends with for like 15 years. And just they've been going through some stuff too. Um, and we just we love them. And we brought we, I think that was the last of our lemon bread in our in our syrup that we were able to give away. So it was just Pam and I, and then we drove back and we stopped at our my son and his family, and just spent two days there with them, and just loved on those guys, and just we love spending time with them. And then when we got back and we started driving home, we said, you know what? We just talked about what was really what did you like about this? We spent an hour talking about how we were fed by everybody.

SPEAKER_01

It was so amazing.

SPEAKER_00

And it was Pam said, we said, This is the best.

SPEAKER_01

This is the best. Yeah, wow, and that is so that's so amazing. That's how God works, right?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

You flip this, he flips the script and then just wows you in ways that you just could never imagine.

SPEAKER_00

And I would have never been able to do that at my previous corporate job. There's no way, and I had I had work to do, but I was able to move it around and say, okay, these days, and when we just really planned and we just had a really good balance of us time, you know, mine and Pam time. My son came down for a week and he spent the week with us, and we loved that. And then we got all this friend time that you just you can't you can't buy that.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, for real. So well, and your your experience inspired me so much. And so I had felt this nudge to go on a road trip by myself and visit my childhood best friend and her elderly parents, um, and go see a friend who'd been in a really rough season of life. And I just said, I just want to come help you. I just want to come help you and be with you. And just, and I just framed it what like love and service was kind of a theme of my road trip. And like you said, it was we sat on the couch for three and a half hours with my best friend and her parents, with no agenda, no time schedule, no, I mean, we just got to be together and reminisce and share memories and laugh and cry and catch up on life. And it was priceless. And like there were so many God moments in the whole like four days or whatever it was, like there was just room for God to show up because it wasn't about me. I just really was trying to just be a vessel for whatever God wanted to happen that week. And like you said, I came back so full.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, isn't that awesome? That's so awesome.

SPEAKER_01

So awesome.

SPEAKER_00

When you told me that story, I was inspired. I was inspired that you were inspired.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I hope the person listening is inspired too. That's so cool.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, it was just, and even when we were done, by the way, it's just what are we saying here? We're saying live intentionally, live on purpose. And um, I'm gonna talk about this this other question you have here too. I even remember there was another guy who lived down in um South South Florida, you know, farther south than we were. And um, he has also been through a really rough time of divorce. And I just love the guy and been walking through what's been going on, and I said, you know what? I'm just gonna call him and see if he's veil. And he was, and it was about a 45-minute drive for me, but I didn't care. I was like, I get to see him and I get to spend time with him, and we got to pray together. Um, it was just a short couple hours together, and now he's coming here tomorrow. I'm gonna make him French press coffee because I know he loves coffee. He's he's coming from Florida, he's in Minnesota for about a week, and I he reached out to me and said, Bob, I'd I'd love to connect. Let's meet somewhere. I said, Why don't you come over? I know you love coffee, I'll make you French Press. Um I love that.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Well, and so for someone listening, like I lived half my life at the mercy of my circumstances. And so if you're listening and feeling like, yeah, this is great for you guys, but um, you don't know what my life looks like. These kind of changes can start so small, and it really does start with your examining your thinking because whatever you're spending your time thinking about today, it's shaping the way you experience life, the the possibilities that are available, the um it's it's shading everything. And so one of the first things I do with clients is have for like a five days, just dump your thinking in a journal for five days, and you'll get a really good picture of like what's happening in your thinking, and you may get some insight into why you feel the way you do. And then you can kind of start to shift that. So, so Bob, in your opinion, like what has had to shift in your thinking to make room for this? And and again, we can start small. It doesn't have to look like a road trip of love and service, right? It can be so small. And I think sometimes the mind is like, well, you can't do that. Someday you'll do that. And that's a lie.

SPEAKER_00

Well, and I thought about this a lot, which is in in the scriptures, what did Jesus say? I did not come to be served, but I came to serve. You know, he didn't wash his own feet, he washed the disciples' feet first. You know, that's in John 13, 13. And then the other one I love is, you know, um, you know, what do you do? It's like Jesus isn't gonna force himself on you. It says in the scriptures, I come at the door and I knock. I stand at the door and I knock. It doesn't say he's he he bursts his way through the door, right? It says he stands, but this whole service thing, and this is the essence of your answer, I think, or my answer to that question. I am the superest, most selfish person in the world. Now, everybody else is going, no, you're not. I said, Yes, I am. I mean, we're all we all are basically, we're all selfish. And and you know, some of my demons, especially around money, my first question now is how much is that gonna cost? And what I found that serving does like that on purpose and within our gifting, within our gifting is it gets me out of my focus on me. That my heart is starting to change to be more empathetic towards others, to care about others, to um spend more money on whatever it takes to minister to whoever. Um, so I'd say that core of if you're hurting, if you're isolating yourself, if you're in a hard place, what if you just went and served someplace where you have a gifting and and see what happens to your soul?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Or serve shift shift a circumstance by really looking at what if you changed your heart posture to a heart of service and like how that would shift whatever you're navigating.

SPEAKER_00

It's so true. It didn't happen overnight, right?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it doesn't. Small steps, yep, maybe steps steps over time. Well, and I don't know if you've ever experienced this, Bob, but like there, you know, sometimes there's a day where I'm like, I'm not feeling my best, and I have a coaching call, and every single time I show up and get on that coaching call and put all my focus over in their world, I feel a hundred percent better.

SPEAKER_00

You're totally in. You're totally in. I feel that way every time I got on a call with you. And that's Jesus' principle. I'm sorry. When Jesus was with anybody, you felt like you were the only one in the room, right? And that pours out into the city.

SPEAKER_01

When it gets you out of your head, and you're suffering.

SPEAKER_00

I have a client right now who two calls, supposed to do two calls, but I said, Hey, she's in another country, and she hadn't didn't finish and she needs some more help. I said, Look, how about if we schedule a call, no charge, freebie, one hour, do whatever you need to do. She's been dealing with major, she called it major physical challenges, and she just needs to focus on her work, so she had to cancel this morning. I prayed for her today. Now, the old Bob would have said, Well, I'll pray for you and never prayed. Right? But I prayed, my wife and I both prayed

Presence As The Most Powerful Gift

SPEAKER_00

for her this morning about what she's going through, and I could tell she was distraught just by the email she sent me this morning. But one of the coolest things, I'll just tell you what she wrote me here, just really quick, the last line, because I I all I did was I had two calls, but like what you said. You said, when I'm with somebody, I am all in. I am all in. I you're totally present, and that's what people want. They just want you to be fully present. She said, I want you to know that it was very important to me to meet you and get your thoughts and feedback, and I will cherish them forever. Oh, wow. Two calls, two calls of just being fully present, fully in, adding value, and giving when just giving over and above what you can, what they expect you to give. That's being fully present, right? I was just one quick story. We were in a restaurant last night, and I couldn't help it. I was so distracted. There was a couple with a like a I'd say about a seven or eight-year-old and a nine or ten-year-old. And I just my heart ached because the two parents sat looking at each other, even the husband was on the phone for a little while, they did not look happy, and the entire hour we were there, except for maybe five or ten minutes at the end, those two kids were in their phones.

SPEAKER_01

So sad.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, I'm not kidding you. The one boy just the whole time, even the mom was talking to him and he wouldn't even look up. And that just kills me.

SPEAKER_01

Me too.

SPEAKER_00

So being fully present because that's what our kids want. That's what we want from each other when you're with us. We want to, whoever is in front of us, be fully present. I think that's the greatest gift you can give somebody.

SPEAKER_01

I think so too. Okay. So a lot, man.

SPEAKER_00

We covered a lot.

SPEAKER_01

That was a lot. Um, so this was not planned, but I just wonder if you would be willing to pray for the listener around what we've been talking about and just um getting out of survival and living by design. And yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I will,

Prayer, Takeaways, And Next Steps

SPEAKER_00

I will do that. Okay. Oh man. Lord, for whoever's listening, I want to pray for. I want to pray that you would find a place to just have quiet for five minutes. And even if you you don't believe, you don't have a faith, ask God. Ask God, Lord, if you are real. Lord, I want to hear your voice. Lord, what do you want me to do? What do you want me to know? And and show yourself to me. He will. He will. Yet you have to you need to be in a place where you can just be quiet with no distractions and really listen for the voice of God. I'd even ask the listeners, Lord, some of our listeners have never heard you. And so I pray that your voice would be mighty and clear and strong in the voice of our listeners, in the in the in the minds of our listeners, in the lives of our listeners. I pray for your hand upon them, that you would bless them and that you would lift them up, and that you would show yourself in a mighty way that you are real, that you are loving, that show them how much you love them, Lord. That's the thing I would say is God loves you. He has a plan for your life, and he wants to do great things with you. So I pray that. I thank you for them. I thank you for those who came who felt a little prompt to come to this call, that they were gonna hear this message and that it's screaming into their heart. Pay attention to that still small voice. And I pray this in your name. Amen.

SPEAKER_01

Thank you so much for doing that. Bob, always so good to connect with you and have you on the podcast. Thank you so much for this conversation, and thank you, listener, for being here today and carving out space in your life. And I just hope and pray that this uh touched you right where it needed to today.

SPEAKER_00

Thanks for having me, Carla.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, see you next time.

SPEAKER_00

Bye-bye.

SPEAKER_01

Hey, thanks for listening all the way to the end. Before you move on with your day, pause and capture one thought or takeaway that stood out to you. Write it down so it doesn't get lost in the noise. And if you're ready to go deeper, come join me in my free monthly class, conversation and guided writing to help you see things differently and move forward with clarity. Save your spot Carlareeves.com forward slash free class.