Differently

Ditch the Someday Illusion

Carla Reeves Episode 2

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0:00 | 6:04

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Let's get real about something.  Your life isn’t happening some day.  It’s happening now.

In this short episode, I introduce you to the sneaky illusion that keeps us hopeful, but ultimately at a distance from what we truly desire.

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Website: https:/www.carlareeves.com/

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SPEAKER_00:

A deep change in the way that we live requires a deep change in the way that we think. I'm Carla Reeves, and this is differently. Hey there. The conversation today is about the Sunday illusion. You have likely heard this before, but it's such a good reminder. We have to get real about something. Your life, my life, isn't happening someday. It's happening now. I not so long ago heard someone say that we as humans are better at planning our lives than actually living them. I find that to be so true. How about you? We call it the someday illusion around here. And it's the idea that life will be great, I'm gonna feel better, things are gonna get better when and only when I lose weight, I have more money, I have more time, I set up that morning routine, he or she changes, fill in the blank. Or it can also look like I'm gonna make those changes, be able to spend more time on my marriage or with my elderly mom, or have more quality time with my kids when fill in the blank. It feels so convincing. And it has a real sneaky way of keeping us hopeful, busy, pushing forward and working hard to get somewhere that isn't where we are today. Yet it's actively pushing what we really want out into the future, into someday land, and causes us to miss the moments that are right here in front of us. What if we can get good at spotting this lie and actually doing something about that thing that is so important to you, starting today and taking it off the someday list? You guys have heard me tell the story, if you've been listening for any time, about coaching a leader who was waiting to retire and convinced that that was the answer, and that once she retired, then she could really have the time to spend on her new relationship and her kids and her elderly mom. And that was a couple of years down the road. Um, and I wasn't okay with that because the likelihood of feeling content and peaceful and having space and time and discipline to carve out that time in the future when you don't know how to cultivate these things now is not likely. Working on these things now and developing the muscles to carve out the time, to stop pleasing others so that you can make space for that bigger commitment in your life, to challenge the rules in your mind that got created when you were eight or 10 and not let them run your life anymore, and really take the reins to live the life that you're meant to lead here and now. I was just telling a client this morning in their journal that sometimes when thoughts are in our head, they feel so big and scary and real. And just getting them out and writing them down can create some air and space and light around them where they're not so heavy. And then you can actually see what's real, challenge what's not, and have some agency to move around. And in this leader's case, those years ago, when we confronted the rules and agreements that she had locked in her mind, you know, that she had to be responsible for everything and that her fear, she had fear of letting others down. And over time, as we pulled that thinking apart, she actually actually could see that it wasn't letting her team down. It was actually raising them up so that when she did retire, they were ready and equipped to lead in her place. So she got to do that while taking the time to spend with her elderly mom and her new relationship and her teenage son now instead of someday when it might have been too late. So, what if you could make a step in that direction today? What would that look like? Imagine 10 days from now, if you took a micro movement every day. Think about where you would be in 10 days. This is about choice and discipline. Let's say goodbye, friend, to the Someday Illusion, the well-worn excuses that we know so well of being too busy, not having time, not having money. I don't know about you, but those have kept me off track and stressed out for way too much of my life. And by giving these thoughts power, we delay what we're really here to do under the convincing illusion that someday is going to arrive when it actually starts today. So, what's one small action you're going to take right where you find yourself in this very moment, in these exact circumstances? Contrary to what you might think or what your brain wants to tell you, the true changes you want don't always require tons of heavy lifting. They begin when you make a choice to think or show up differently to the very moment you find yourself in. Yep, this one right here. Maybe your one step today is to get the differently journal. It's here, it's available for purchase, and it's ready to guide you out of someday and into life differently. It's filled with guided pages, inspiration to keep you going and reminding you of these things. And it's a guide, there's a guide inside of it for living differently. You can get that at carlaeves.com forward slash journal. There's also a link in the show description. Have an amazing day, friend. I'll see you next week.