Differently: Stop living by default. Start living by design.
Differently is for when you need to get out of your head and back into your life.
Created and hosted by Carla Reeves, creator of The Differently Journal and The Conversation Club, her work is built on over 20 years of helping people use writing to navigate real life. Not as a habit to keep up with, but as a way to calm your mind, get clear, and move forward.
You are always writing your life, whether it’s in your mind or on paper.
It's time to take the pen back.
Turn overthinking and self doubt into clarity, confidence, creativity and momentum.
I’m sure you’ve heard the term or at least heard someone say before, “I was in survival mode”. But what does being in survival mode really mean and how does it apply to non-life-or-death scenarios? When I’m working with a coaching client, one of the key-ingredients we identify to help them move forward in their life with greater velocity and ease is their Survival Type and Model. In this episode, I talk about each Survival Type and how it may be the very thing getting in your way today and keeping you from where you want to go next.
Go to https://differentlyco.com/free-class to get The Class schedule, sign up, and/or pass it on to a friend. Come hang out and learn with us for FREE!
If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to share it with a friend.
A free way to support our show is by leaving a five-star rating and review on your favorite podcast player. It’s a chance to tell us what you love about the show and it helps others discover it, too.
Thank you for listening!
SPEAKER_00
I'm Carla Reeves, and this is Differently, a podcast where we explore the ins and outs of what becomes possible when we're willing to think, do, and show up differently to the moments of our everyday lives. I'm sure you've heard the term or at least heard someone say before, I was in survival mode. But what does being in survival mode really mean, and how does it apply to non-life or death scenarios? When I'm working with a coaching client, one of the key ingredients we identify to help them shift from surviving to thriving is their own individual survival type. I talked about this in episode 17, so you may want to circle back and listen to that. Your survival type literally helped you to survive your environment at one time. It's made up of patterns that cause you to think and behave the way that you do. And this survival way of living has gotten you to where you are. However, it's often the very thing that's getting in the way today and keeping you from where you want to go next or what you want to experience next. We're going to talk about the four survival types. And know that while there are four survival types, they're not all of them. And so if you don't find one that fits like a glove, don't beat yourself up. You just might be a combination of several or have sort of your own unique pattern. Today I'm going to talk about the four survival types and kind of listen and see where you might find yourself. The first one is the invisible altruist. For the invisible altruist, the voices in your head frequently tell you that you don't matter and you're not important. This causes you to put the needs of others above your own. You spend a significant amount of time and energy taking care of others, but struggle to feel seen and heard. The things that are important to you seem to always fall to the bottom of the list. For the invisible altruist, they have a superpower to really hear and see others in a way that makes others feel highly valued. Unfortunately, they don't always get the same in return, which can leave you feeling sad and disappointed. This may cause you to miss out on what the other person does bring to the relationship. The next type is the insecure achiever. For the insecure achiever, the voices in your head frequently are telling you that you're not good enough, that you don't measure up, and may go as far to tell you that you are a failure. This causes you to have extremely high expectations for yourself, and you may find yourself overworking, over-delivering, over-committing, overcompensating. And while you can put on a happy face and look very successful on the outside, inside it never feels like it's enough and can be very exhausting. The superpower of the insecure achiever is high energy and an ability to go, go, go. Unfortunately, insecure achievers don't always know how to stop and relax. And this can leave you feeling like you're always on the run and a bit exhausted. Having your work recognized keeps you going for a while, but deep down, even that doesn't feel like enough. The third type is the misfit maverick. For the misfit maverick, the voices in the head frequently are saying that you're different and you don't belong. And this can cause you to shrink and hide. You feel like you don't fit in. So you can find yourself morphing and contorting yourself to match others in the hopes of feeling less isolated. For the Misfit Maverick, their superpower is making others feel welcome. You're amazing and warm, and make sure everyone feels included when you can. You know you have something unique to contribute, but you struggle with feeling confident and standing tall in who you are and what you're up to. The fourth type, the loyal lone wolf. For the loyal lone wolf, the voices in your head are telling you you're alone and on your own. This makes it hard to let others in. You take everything on yourself and get frustrated that others don't help. You long to cultivate deep and meaningful connections, but your survival patterns may actually be pushing people away, leaving you alone once again. The loyal lone wolf's superpower is their ability to thrive on their own. They're independent and they know how to get stuff done. They're extremely loyal to those who they let in their inner circle, and they're likely very proud of these qualities, but deep down long for closeness, connection, and more support. Your survival type is a snapshot of a pattern embedded deep inside that can prevent you from achieving the results and experiences that you desire today. In the work I do with clients, some of the very most important work that we do in the beginning is to reveal your survival model. I feel like a lot of times people are wanting to escape something in their life, whether it's a job or a relationship or a move to another city to create new and different feelings. But often we make those changes and find while they feel better for a little while, we find that we fall back into the same sort of feelings and patterns and unfulfilling experiences that we had before. And that I believe is because you're it's your survival type. It follows you. And unless you learn how to escape it, it's likely that you'll continue to recreate similar, unfulfilling patterns. The good news, the amazing news is that you have all the power and control within you to understand this model, to dismantle this model, and to step outside and learn how to consistently create new and different results in your life that really set you on the path for the life that you want to create. I want to share with you that I am an insecure achiever and I also identify with some of the misfit maverick uh qualities as well. Being an insecure achiever has given me a lot of success in my work. It's also allowed me to create great but sometimes lopsided relationships because I tended to give too much and then feel frustrated and resentful. As I have learned to understand and step outside of this model, it's possible to be effective and productive without all the overgiving and overcompensating. And it's also possible to create relationships that are life-giving and mutually giving and loving. And fun fact, I live with three lone wolves. It can be quiet around here. Uh, they have they like to be in their caves. But knowing these things, knowing these qualities about ourselves has allowed us to overcome, to not let them define us, to let them be information that can fuel and help us to shift and navigate some of the qualities that are part of us, but not allow them to define us. And so we can really understand and move around and create a life that we want. If you want to know your type, I've created a quiz, discover your survival type. You can find a link in the show notes. Head on over and take that quiz. When you begin to understand and recognize your survival type, you have the choice to do differently. And as you and I both know, that as you change your actions and change your dance and show up differently, your life is going to surprise you and your experiences and results change too. Thank you for tuning in to this episode of Differently. I hope it stirred your thinking, and I invite you to take one inspired action from something that stood out to you. If you want to hear more conversations like this, hit follow on your favorite podcast app. And if this episode could impact someone you know, please pass it along. Remember, new episodes drop weekly. See you next week.
.png)